Brothers in Arms

In my younger days, I was an atheist. I agitated for drug legalization. I despised Christianity as a lie and a drag on progress.

I’m no different now about these things than I was then. I’m still an atheist in favor of drug legalization who wishes people would stop going to church.

Except I get along much better these days with Christians who’ve never smoked dope  than with dope-smokers who’ve never gone to church. I much prefer Glenn Beck to Rachel Maddow. I’d rather watch O’Reilly than Olbermann. I voted for Bush instead of whoever the hell the Libertarian Party ran. In this last election, I voted for Palin–not McCain/Palin, but Palin. I wrote her in.

In my younger days, I lived at the end of history. Controversial issues were entirely internecine. You can afford to be whatever you want to be, politically, when all you’re fighting about is welfare vs workfare, or whether you have to buy dope from friends or from stores and which states sell dildoes.

Well, we’re no longer at the end of history. Seems history is getting ramped up to kick our complacent asses again.  So it’s no longer about who likes drugs and porn, as about who agrees with you about preserving the civilization that makes drugs and porn–and religious freedom– cheap and available. It’s about protecting a wonderful civilization that lets us vigorously disagree and fight with each other while seldom resorting to violence. Unlike Islam. Unlike Europe. America is special and people who don’t think so are provincial idiots.

(One of my dear friends was slightly in her cups a few months ago, and went off about how America was just “so horrible in the world.” In just the same tones that I would have expected her to use had Uncle Sam raped her at every Thanksgiving dinner since she was 7. I just don’t get this. Maybe all of these people do have an Uncle named Sam.)

I have way more in common, when it comes to fundamentals, no pun intended, with my Christian, conservative adversaries than with my tolerant liberal friends.

The conservatives are into hard work, self-sufficiency, distrust of government, the shame of taking handouts, and, most importantly, the importance of defending our way of life against a diverse lot of lowlifes and barbarians.

Most of my liberal friends are dumb as a box of rocks about what their freedom to shop at Whole Foods depends on. They’re like the Eloi. Talk about guns makes them go Ick! and Poo! They really don’t believe that self-defense is relevant to their lives. The never expect a Bad Man to ever try to hurt them (unless his name is Sam and he’s a Republican).

Eloi are nice, but you wouldn’t want them guarding your back.

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