Stupid Liberal!

Liberals like to play the stupid card even more than the race card.

Patriotism may be the last refuge of a scoundrel, but calling a conservative stupid is the first tactic of most liberals. American liberals think they’re smart because they’re liberal. This is like how most conservatives think they’re righteous because they’re conservative.

First, I’m going to harsh on the conservatives, even though this post is about liberals, because I’m hoping that liberals might have a pot/kettle moment from it.

Forget that Catholic women are twice as likely to have abortions as the average (because Catholic women ignore birth control and have huge incentives to hide out-of-wedlock pregnancies). Forget Sarah Palin’s slutty little daughter and Carrie Prejean tweakin’ her bean, and Newt Gingrich bangin’ his mistress. Ignore Jim Bakker and all the other fakers. Ignore the fact that conservatives get divorced more than liberals (probably because they marry younger).  And let’s ignore the closeted criminality, from the wide-stanced Mormon in Minneapolis to the predatory page dater in Pensacola.

No doubt about it, conservatives are a hot moral mess. On their main claim to fame, it’s epic fail.

Now, let’s talk about liberals. They think they’re smart, enlightened and compassionate. As SNL says, Really?

You liberal guys think Joe Biden is smarter than Sarah Palin? Really? You think John Kerry is smarter than George Bush? (Look up their SATs and college grades. Think about what it takes to fly a fighter plane before you call Bush stupid again.) Really, you think that Keith Olbermann is smarter than Bill O’Reilly? Pelosi would beat Gingrich on Jeopardy?

Liberals get a thrill up their legs from glibly articulate incompetence. They have no understanding that smart and articulate don’t always go together.

You liberals all are still laughing at Bush for saying, “Heck of a job, Brownie!” while defending the feckless fuckups that Obama has surrounded himself with. They’re taking credit for saving the economy like an Indian rain man takes credit for the fact that if he dances for 9 months, it eventually fucking rains. (Oh, and all Barack’s boy geniuses shouldn’t get all happy just yet–the crops ain’t in yet. Y’all have been out pissing in the fields for 9 months, and the rain we’re getting now may not be enough to wash all of your smartness away.)

Liberals created a welfare system that incents the stupidest to reproduce the mostest, and then you justify expanding it because the mostest are now birthing the stupidest?

No matter that nearly every blue state is on the verge of bankruptcy and nearly every red state is doing ok.

No matter that you’re going to try Khalid Mohammed in a civil court. OJ the Sequel. How fucking stupid do you have to be to be this fucking stupid?

No matter that Iran has played Lucy to your Charlie Brown all year, with a nuclear football.

No matter that you’re all starry-eyed about your big-eared Charlie Brown who’s knuckled under and hired a bunch of wrinkled Marxists and Maoists to tell him what to do now that he’s King of the World, Ma! 

To be continued.

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One Response to Stupid Liberal!

  1. momromp says:

    This is the greatest thing I have read in ages. Hilarious and smart – an unusual combination. Thanks for a good read.

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