Idol Gives Crap

Michelle and Barack appeared in designer clothes, no Walmarting there, to praise “Idol Give Back.” This is the most self-congratulatory annual orgy of Hollywood self-congratulation on TV.

First, they went to the fat American trailer-trash mom who either was too lazy to clean up the crap in front of her trailer or was told by the producers not to. Anyhow, nobody in her house is  starvin’ Marvin. The mom was fat as hell, her kids overfed. Did I miss the dad? Did I miss what mom does for a living? They bitched about having to heat their house with kerosene and when they ran out, they’d just turn on the electric stove. No word on what they did when they refused to pay the electric bill. I’d donate to “Idol gives IUDs.”

Then they had that UN secretary general douchebag who said something like “help children. climate change. we like eat dogs, get over it. UN rocks.”

Randy Jackson and Morgan Freeman also encouraged us to give money to poor fat illiterate people. That part actually seemed to deal with people with real problems, though it implied but didn’t state, that their problems were because of white people. The black people had to move from Arkansas to Mississipi to be safe. As everyone knows, accidents involving black teenagers who get randomly burned are out of control in Arkansas, but Mississippi has learned its lesson about burning black kids. Then they ended up with a pitch for black kids shouldn’t be so damn fat. Should have ended up with black adults shouldn’t be so damn fat, Randy Jackson.

The Black Eyed Peas screamed and stomped and sweated through a quarter million in ugly Barbarella designer clothes that could have gone to helping black children in Africa. Then a woman died in Africa from “too late.” I think one of her kids had AIDS too.  Wonder where he got it. She could probably have been saved if that fat kerosene bitch in West Virginia had donated half her gorditas from Taco Bell. Or if American drug companies didn’t make such obscene profits making AIDS drugs that allowed African men with AIDS to live long enough to infect lots more African women. 

Sully was coopted for a good cause. He knows how to fly a plane into a river better than most, but he doesn’t know a lot about economics.

Alicia Keys played a piano nearly large enough to use as a coffin for the fat West Virginia mom. She also spent more on clothes and hair than one of the poor people she purports to be helping makes in a year.

They didn’t have a lot to say about defending poor people against genocide and jihad and seasonal marauding armies. Or about the importance of the rule of law. Or DDT, but they did whine momentarily about malaria. Let them eat mosquito nets, said our Hollywood-fed Idols. A million little kids a year die shitting out a yellow river of the food aid that nice American liberals send, but let’s not think about that because I have an autographed copy of of Rachel Carson’s book. Every decade, Rachel Carson and her liberal fans kill more black children than Hitler killed Jews.

Oh, and they had the Octo-Mom on. And Jim Carrey, but thankfully not that crazy bitch he’;s married to who’s trying to make people not get vaccinated. I doubt Jenny McCarthy will ever match Rachel Carson numbers for dead kids, but at least she’s trying.

Not one person on that show has a clue about how to solve any of these problems. They’re all so sure though, through barely restrained tears of maudlin emotionality, that what they’re doing is IMPORTANT. (Their ALL CAPS, not mine.)

I’m not going to say that they’re evil or even venal. They’re English major mentalities when what we need is engineers. They’re people excited about building bridges but without any clue or, more importantly, any interest, in how you make bridges that don’t collapse and kill people.  I’m including the president, since he included himself in this gaggle of gasbags.  He and they think that meaning well trumps knowing nothing.

Ellen said that on any given day one in six Americans don’t know where their next meal is coming from. I’m willing to admit that on any given day Ellen just reads what she’s told to. And that 5 in 6 Americans don’t know where their next meal is coming from because they haven’t decided where they want to eat lunch yet. That includes the homeless in any big Amerian city, who typically also have several free lunch choices.

(The other day, I was ranting at the TV, annoying my perennially resigned wife, although what’s she got to complain about? I do pause the TV when I go off on it…anyhow, there was a stupid ad about there being 12 million starving children in America. Really? there are 300 million Americans. I’m going back of the envelope here, but let’s say generously 100 million of them are under 20 and count as children. 1 in 10 children then is starving. When’s the last time one of them died from starvation who wasn’t deliberately starved to death by abusive parents? I mean, hell, you’ d expect at least a few thousand to die in each state every year. You’d think you could find some Sally Struthers kids somewhere in America. Maybe their parents put them all in the recycle bin and we don’t notice them when they are made into new water bottles. All the living starving kids seem fatter than me with worse clogged arteries at age 7 than I’ll ever have. That reminds me…I want a chili dog. With lots of cheese. And jalapenos to make it healthy.)

Because Comcast sucks, the last half hour of the show got cut off and so I’ll have to stop here.

UPDATE: Here’s a dead child in America from starvation:

What I said about IUDs? Uh huh.


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