In Defense of Al Gore

That psycho bitch in Portland who got paid $500 to rub Al Gore and then went Eww! Eek! a mouse! when Gore showed his beady little trouser-snake eye…

She failed lie detector tests.

She’s from Portland, and so we know 80% statistically she’s a psycho bitch.  Seriously, most women in Portland think that Glenn Close’s big mistake was not to leave a card along with the rabbit.  They’d all be lesbians except no woman will have them.

She says she thought she was getting paid $500 for an uncomplicated massage. Maybe she is that goddamn dumb. 10x normal freight, for no other reason than he’s grateful I voted for him.

 Gore got ripped off in Portand. He paid $500 to get his Mt. St. Helens blown, to get his Old Faithful erupted, and some moron on his team picked this sour prune dunce of  a Portland lost beast and Al was as rightfully annoyed as I’d be if I paid that much for nachos in 7-11 and got told the chili and cheese dispensers were out of order and no refunds. I’d say, Hey, what the hell?, too. I’d be a crazed nacho poodle.

So, Al obviously goes around the country getting hot chicks  to get him off (pretty cheaply too–3 figures?) in ways that Tipper won’t. Didn’t work out so well in Portland, the land of the other white meat. We all know that Al is regularly having orgasms in the presence of women whose names he knows not. Now Tipper knows. So they’re getting divorced.

The only thing that could make this better for me is to see Tipper smooching on Dee Snider.

Anyhow, Al Gore and John Edwards and Bill Clinton are all entitled to cheat on their horrible starter wives that they’ve been stuck with only because they chose careers in politics. We should respect their sacrifices. Tipper, Liz and Hil–what a harpy triad they are. No wonder these guys cheat with succubi.

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