Unearned Affluence

Glenn Beck has been banging the drum for the notion that the reason America is so fucked up is because we aren’t into God anymore. If we’d just get back into God, Obama would melt like the Wicked Witch of the West.

Today, while commercial-surfing, I heard Rush Limbaugh start banging the same drum. To be fair, Limbaugh was doing it far more stupidly than Beck. Say what you want about Beck, he’s pretty well-read and, despite what people think, pretty reasonable, if excitable.

Limbaugh, on the other hand, was recycling arguments that were soundly defeated even by Thomas Aquinas, who wanted to propound better arguments for the existence of God than the kind of horseshit that Limbaugh bases his God-mongering on.

Beck takes his belief in God seriously; Limbaugh does not.

But that’s neither here nor there–I was just so annoyed listening to Limbaugh’s jejune adolescent “Hello, god, it’s me, Rush” faux piety that I wanted to trash him a little.

Both Beck and Limbaugh are wrong about why America sucks so much these days. It’s not about lack of belief in God, it’s about Unearned Affluence. And God-believers are as guilty as anyone for turning their next generation into Unearned Affluent Brats (UAB’s).

Not only does Unearned Affluence spoil a person, it’s terrifying. Even if you’re really stupid, you start to realize at a certain point that if everything went to shit you couldn’t make your way in the world. If you’re Paris Hilton, you get a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach when you think about daddy cutting you off. If you’re a grad student in feminist studies, you think about what might happen if you said anything that contradicted your teachers. If you have a federal job, you think about what it means to you if a safe system-sucking bitch like Sherryl Sherrod can get summarily fired, and then you breathe a sigh of relief when she gets re-hired.  If you’re me, you dream about what the fuck you’d do if the electricity grid got shut off and feral mobs of Sherrod-like zombies were besieging your house. But that last isn’t quite what I mean.

I’m not talking about the fear any sensible person feels about what they might do if the entire societal infrastructure suddenly went to Road-Warrior-shit. I’m talking about the fear of not being able to figure out how to make your way with the world’s most incredibly forgiving, nurturing societal infrastructure in your corner.

At the right level, being terrified by your own Unearned Affluence is a good thing. It’s when you repress it and turn it into a sense of spoiled entitlement that it curdles into decadence. Until you pull that stupid human trick, you realize that your comfort and safety were bought with better people’s blood and sacrifice. You understand that civilization is as fragile as it is amazing and you should tiptoe around fucking with it. You don’t try to make it better with a sledgehammer. You respect instead of resent those who keep it going.

But at the level of Kim Kardashian and Barack and Michelle Obama and the typical welfare mother and too many middle class kids in America today and most everyone working for a higher or lower educational institution or any level of government, you end up thinking the right thing is to hold a sledgehammer to the head of the goose that lays the golden eggs. 

You hate the bourgeois drones who annoy you and make your life possible. You have no understanding of what they do, but you’re sure it’s easy and you can do it better and the only reason you don’t is because it’s boring and they should be grateful you don’t club them.

Your world is simple and obvious. You think all you need is to overthrow the adults and there’d be utopia and nobody would restrict your access to the car keys and credit cards. What you’d do when the gasoline runs out (or spills out all over the Gulf) or when the credit card company calls up and asks about payment doesn’t occur to you. Seriously, everyone in the Obama administration is just this stupid and adolescent.

ODS alert: Barack Obama has proven, contrary to my hopes and cheerleading, that he has no intention of learning a goddamn thing as president. He’s as irrevocably stupid as one of those adolescent monsters on Lost in Space (the in-color years) who would kidnap Penny and make her dance in a cage until she was rescued and the little brat got his comeuppance by being exiled to some other dimension. I’m thinking about registering letsexilebaracktoanotherdimension.com.

Everyone on welfare in America is part of the Unearned Affluence society. They’ve never had to control their behavior and never had to meet someone else’s needs in order to get their own met. Same goes for most people going to Ivy League colleges. They’re also on welfare, just paid by their rich stupid parents, most of whom are generational welfare recipients too, just as insiders not outsiders.  Nearly everyone in America who works for an educational or g0vernmental institution and is not in the hard sciences is a welfare bum of one kind or another.  And most union members too, way to degenerate, guys.

At a deep, but not unconscious, level, they’re all terrified. They feel, deeply, 2am deeply, that they haven’t done anything to deserve it. At the high end of the UAB chain, they don’t know how to change their own oil, much less clean up the Gulf.  Deep down, they don’t believe much of anything they say to themselves or to anyone else at parties where they guzzle Chardonnay and chomp down on Brie. Deep down, they’re scared they don’t have a deep down, and if they do have a deep down, they wonder why they haven’t found it yet. Like the low end of the UAB food chain welfare mothers, they’re scared to death everyone else will figure out the scam and cut them off.

We should cut them off. All of them. The ruling class and the mob. Fuck you–I’m proud bourgeoisie and I say anybody who isn’t bourgeois is shit. If you’ve ever said the word bourgeois with contempt in your voice come over to my house and I’ll knock your fucking teeth out. (Hmmm…I’d say that last sentence pretty much sums up why the Tea Party people are pissed–this is class warfare. God help you proles and blue-bloods when people like me start to figure that out. Now I have a lot to go think about….)

2 Responses to Unearned Affluence

  1. Llama John says:

    Preach it, brother!

    (See what I did there? I worked the whole god thing back in. Go me.)

  2. Llama John says:

    Did you happen to read this?


    An oldie, but touches on some of the same themes.

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