What Happens in Vegas

Obama is sending out a fund-raising appeal asking supporters to donate $3 online as a raffle ticket for a chance

to be automatically entered to win a trip to be at my side at the rally in Vegas.

Well, where do I begin?

First, I’ve been automatically entered ever since Obama was elected. They’ve debauched the currency, stimulated the prostrate and with not so much as a by your leave, ma’am. I feel quite relaxed now, or at least that I’d better goddamn well concentrate on relaxing if I don’t want the next 2 years to hurt even more.  I hear the Republican Guard coming to rescue me, but I don’t really trust them not to start raping me again as soon as they drag me out of Democrat Abu Ghraib.

Second, forget paying a million dollars to a streaker to proudly wave his wee-wee in front of the president:  who can we get to put up a million dollars for anyone to jump on stage and rip off the Obama-mask to reveal that Ed McMahon didn’t die but has been running the country for the last 2 years?

Third, what does “at my side” mean? If this were Clinton, we’d know it meant “on your knees at my front.” I doubt that Michelle is as much of a career-sucking doormat as Hilary was. Somehow, I think if your name is Gennifer you’re less likely to win the raffle than if your name is Mandingo.

Fourth, I leave further exegesis as an exercise for the reader. Sorry for using that archaic term, reader: Commenter, I meant.

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