My burkha arrived from ebay last Saturday. My hijab and niqab arrived yesterday. Today I got my Star of David.
I’m still trying to figure out how to place my Koran. Do I glue the pages end to end and replace the toilet paper rolls? Do I make a necklace of Koran pages with big red marker drawn on them saying DYNO-MITE? I like both of those ideas. I hope I’ll think of others.
Whatever happens, I promise that at least one Koran will be harmed in making this costume.
This halloween, I’m pissing on mainstream Islam, you cowardly, pathetic so-called Muslim moderates who’ve done nothing about helping the little girl in Seattle who has had to go into hiding to avoid the murderous motherfuckers you harbor and encourage. No, not all Muslims are terrorists, but all observant Muslims are subversives. They wish Sharia on the rest of us. Moderate Muslims, whatever the fuck that means, want your daughter to be subject to savage Muslim courts.
Yeah, I hate Islam. Unless you’re stupid, you do too. If you don’t, I hope you get some Yemeni printer toner.
UPDATE: I was gonna go with one of the Mohammed cartoons on the chest of my burkha, T-shirt applique-like. But the pictures of Mohammud from the cartoons with a stick of dynamite growing out of his stupid head were pretty low-res and all the othersw were too complicated. So I got a more hagiographic high-res picture of the little prick, full color. I punctured little holes in it so I could hang a Star of David necklace on Muhhhuummis. In my 8 x 11 chestplate, Muhmoron is shown holding a book called Humanism for Dummies and I photoshopped in DYN-O-MITE! at the bottom.
I will be wearing toilet paper rolls made of Koran pages all night unless my hosts agree to let me place them in the bathrooms where they belong. Thank Allah that little dabs of superglue work on Koran paper. It would have taken me forever to perforate the sheets. My living room was festooned with Koran pages, superglued end to end, all morning.
Tomorrow, the remnants of my copy of the Koran will be on the shelf behind my toilet, and I will not be squeezing the Charmin again till my Koran is all flushed away. It’s a sacrifice that me and my asshole will make.