What do Hilary Clinton, Newt Gingrich, Barack Obama and John Bolton all have in common? They are all screaming, Bring me the head of Julian Assange!
Why? Because several, dozens, hundreds, thousands of people are going to end up dead because of WikiLeaks.
Ok, I’m probably just not paying attention, but did anyone actually get beheaded over the Afghan leak last summer? If they did, you’d think we’d be hearing about it right now. Instead we’re hearing about how hundreds or thousands are going to die over this new dump.
I’m hearing assholes to the left and the right of me demanding that Wikileaks be declared a terrorist organization. If the US government does this, and they very well might, then the war on terror has fully transmogrified into the war on us. First they came for the Swedish sissies…
So far, I’ve seen no ill effect of anything Wikileaks has done. I’ve seen lots of goodness. We now know, not just strongly suspect, that the fucking Chinese government was fucking with Google. It’s more than rumor that Sunni Muslims were in league with the great Satan and wanted us to put the hammer down on the Shiite-heads in Iran.
And Wikileaks informs us that American diplomats can see what the rest of us can see–that part really surprised me. Merkel is stolid and conservative? Berlusconi would fuck a rosebush if he thought there was a 17-year-old girl under it? Sarkozy thinks Grey Poupon is plebian?
American embassy personnel are covertly gathering credit cards, frequent flyer numbers, fingerprints, library cards, Boy Scout merit badges and EPT test results for everyone they come into contact with in Africa. The one thing I saw missing from the list was AIDS test results. Buttheads left and right are calling for Hilary Clinton to resign as SecState because of this. If she does, she’ll run for President. Think about that, left/right assholes. She’s doing a pretty decent job where she is and she seems happy in her mink-lined cage. You want to let that wolverine out to ravage the Democrat primaries?
So far, the only victims I’ve seen so far are US government establishment assholes who’ve been embarrassed. I’d really like to know about it if there are any other actual, not imaginary, victims.
UPDATE: It’s been brought to my attention that Assange is an Australian sissy, not a Swedish sissy. Had I known that, I’d have neologized him as an Aussisy. I regret the error and the opportunity.