Student Moans

Student loan indebtedness has passed total US consumer credit card balances.

They’re mostly one and the same thing. I know lots of people who spent their student loans on pizzas, used cars, drugs, rent and restaurant tabs for girls who were never going to fuck them. Not necessarily in that order.

I feel zero sorry for nearly all people with crippling student loans. Most of you used them frequently for things other than tuition. Way more than half of you used them to avoid having to grow up and get a real job. And, while in school, you studiously avoided learning anything that was useful in a real job. If you got loans to go to med school, and you finished, good on you, and you can afford to pay them back now. If you jacked off in Whatever Studies, or French Whatever or Communications or…well, any major that didn’t have 90% male attendance in the 40x classes, then fuck you. Oops, sorry, I meant, “then I don’t feel sorry for you not one little bit.” I’m going to have to get a swear jar or something. Oh, and in the paragraph above, I meant, “girls who aren’t sincerely interested in them.” See, I’m getting the hang of this civility thing.

Sociologists claim men are falling behind women. Proof positive, a lot more women are going to college than men. Uh, no, that just proves that college has become the domain of the pretentious and unproductive who have inflated self-esteem and a short shelf-life. That’s a long way of saying “American woman, get away from me.”

The bargain of government student loans is this: “We will give you money to avoid reality for another half-decade, and after that you will get a high paying job, trust us, so it doesn’t matter how much you go in debt now, you’ll pay it off out of pocket change later. Sign here, moron.”

All the sob stories you see in newspapers about Ph.D’s working as waiters–don’t sob. They’re idiots who thought that incurring a huge debt and having fun was the same thing as buying a golden ticket for life. Besides, waiters make better money than a Ph.D working in their field would have ever made. They never investigated that when picking a major. They ranked choice of major on how easily they thought they could BS their way through it.

So, too bad about those loans you took out that can’t be discharged in bankruptcy and that will haunt you the rest of your life or until the government collapses. The second is likely to happen first, you lucky bastards.

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