I just saw Britney Spears on Jimmy Kimmel. She sang a song (I use the word song loosely) about “you be the bass.” During the song, the bass got bigger and bigger. She air-humped a lot.
The song sucked. It was the techno auto-tuned usual that makes us think that Lady Gaga is actually good.
Even Suzanne Somers doing that Thighmaster thing was sexier than this cold mess.
Spears makes more money in a week than I make in a year. Probably she makes more in a day.
I could do her job, thanks to Autotune and Photoshop.
I like thinking that I could replace Britney Spears and nobody could tell the difference. No, really, I could, but I’m too tired to do it. If you do it, post it on YouTube, ok?