The Piano Sucks and Propaganda Matters

I just saw the last 20 minutes of this horrible movie. The only good thing about it is that it led eventually to Anna Paquin getting naked all the time to get vampire-banged in True Blood. Anna Paquin naked is one of my favorite things.

I’ve never watched The Piano before. It’s on that list of movies that people say, really, you’ve never seen that? It’s amazing!

Like all those books my wife reads, like The Kite Runner. And other books that have titles that sound uninteresting to repulsive.

Yesterday, she was watching Kite Runner on Netflix when I walked in, and today it’s The Piano.

So I have a double dose of BS to rant about.

Both movies are pure propaganda. No wonder women can’t think straight from filling their heads with this crap.

To be fair, I saw the last 30 minutes of both movies. To be fair, that’s enough.

In The Kite Runner, the hero triumphs by telling the Afghani tribal chieftan to go fuck himself. Yeah, right. And the stoning scene was totally not as bad as stoning really is. When I pointed that out, my wife went, Yeah, I know. I have actual stoning videos. She doesn’t want to see them.

In The Piano, the mute chick is the feminist archetype. Silenced. Unheard. Odd how you can’t make a real feminist just SHUT THE FUCK UP AND NOT RUIN THE PARTY,  but they think their voices aren’t being heard.

The mute chick in The Piano is rescued repeatedly by men and men are the enemy. Her ultimate rescuer is conspicuously absent from the final scene in the film, though the metal finger he bought her isn’t. (Spoiler alert The Piano plot: chick loves playing the piano; bad man chops off her finger for being hot for good man; chick makes ridiculously dramatic suicide attempt giving shit not one about leaving her daugher orphaned; chick is rescued from said suicide attempt by anonymous men and good man; chick lugubriously plays piano again with metal finger as credits roll.)

Propaganda matters.

Microsoft has new ads trying to counter Apple. In the first ad, a British woman is an emasculating bitch. In the second ad, an American woman is an emasculating bitch. The Brit bitch ends the ad saying, “I’m going to kill him” while he laughs nervously. The American bitch ends the ad with “We got what I wanted, not what he wanted” while he laughs nervously.

This isn’t just Microsoft.  Most ads that feature couples feature a large and in charge female behaving contemptuously toward an incompetent, cringing husband. Why is this trope ubiquitous?

Because people think The Piano is a good movie and it’s really just propaganda. It’s just a boring, 2-hour ad against men. It’s no deeper than one of those Microsoft ads.

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