Democracy = Fucked

I’ve spent most of this afternoon playing around with COM objects in Windows Powershell and watching John Stossel on Hulu.

I love John Stossel. You should go read his books, especially if you’re the kind of person who knows they should know more about economics and politics but can’t tackle real books. Stossel’s books breeze through the hard subjects with entertaining real-life examples and personal stories, in tiny bites, pretty much like his TV reports. He’s Thomas Sowell for Dummies.

My only criticism of Stossel is that he’s so earnest that I’m afraid if me and my friends had him over for a party, we’d hurt his feelings. Probably when we started going “S-s-s-socialism S-s-s-ucks!” (S-s-s-stossel s-s-s-stutters.)

Stossel continues to do his investigative reporter shtick. Like he recently put on a Fiddler on the Roof beard, sat on a New York City sidewalk with a “not hungry, just want beer” and made $12 an hour to show how you’re a dumbass if you give money to panhandlers. The homeless lobby was totally pissed. Stossel still spends a lot of time exposing douchebags and stupidity to his merciless, earnest logic.

There are too many assholes to shoot. If you gave Stossel a fully automatic machine gun and had him on every night, he still wouldn’t have time to target 1/100th of the professional victims, venal unions, horrible lobbyists, raping lawyers, crazy anti-vaccine bitches (I mean you, Jim Carrey), crackpot health Nazis, rock stars and Internet entrepreneurs getting farm subsidies, learned-helplessness cripples, green energy retards, rich cheap old farts who vote, all of which have figured out how to play the government handout game like those rich old farts play bridge. I have yet to hear anyone in public office right or left say that social security should be means tested.

So we’re fucked. No, they’re fucked. All those constituencies I listed above: the system is going to come down hard. Because not one of them will give up ANYTHING to keep it going.

At a certain point, every single one of them is going to be going to the mailbox waiting for their check to show up. Guys like Bruce Springsteen and Michael Dell will just shrug and tell their accountants to deal with it. Retired schoolteachers and other parasitic public employees on perpetual motion pensions will live out their ’70’s working in fast food. As they goddamn well deserve to do. You may think it’s unfair that Springsteen and Dell will survive unscathed when the system comes down but schoolteachers and bus drivers and cops and sanitation workers will be wiped out.

I don’t think it’s unfair–it’s completely deserved. If you’re a moron who thought that relying on government as deus ex machina would solve all problems in your life for the rest of your life, you deserve to be a cautionary tale. I’m OK with your old age sucking so your children and grandchildren will have an object lesson to learn from. And you can go live with them.

If you’re a productive person who produced enough to afford accountants to help you figure out how not to get raped so much by the system, good on you. I like it that Springsteen and Dell save millions of dollars on taxes by taking advantage of gubmint asininity. I’d rather leave that money with them than give it to the gubmint to give to the bread&circuses crowd.

You teachers and bus drivers and maintenance workers and other dumb as a box of rocks career types spent your careers acting like Paris Hilton in The Simple Life, pretending to work, bitching about low pay up front to distract the rest of us from the last half of your lives where you calculated you’d coast. Seriously, none of you were serious about actually contributing something serious to society. Selfish? A bit. So, yeah, too bad so sad if you don’t get the payoff you thought you bargained for with God/Gubmint.

Oh, and that $100,000 of FDIC insurance you dipshits believe in? It’s not worth much if there’s hyperinflation and $100,000 US dollars buy a moped, if you’re lucky.

People who don’t suck will get hurt when this all comes down. But you will get really hurt. I can’t wait. Your checks will stop coming and you need them. I can’t wait for you to ask me if I want fries and how was my service today.

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