Netflix is EVIL

Uh, no, they’re NOT.

Netflix is awesome. All the morons birthing calves over Netflix changing their pricing are SOFA KINGs.

(

What are SOFA KINGs? It’s hard to explain. But I’ll try. Read the following list of words out loud, over and over again, faster and faster, till you find yourself unable to enunciate clearly. It helps to have several people listening to you read because they’ll catch the stumbles before you will:

EYE

YAM

SOFA

KING

WHEAT

HARD

HEAD

)

I wish the horrible douchebags posting on Consumerist and the Netflix blog would apply a little bit of the outrage and existential angst they’re focusing on Netflix to the federal fucking gubmint. Seriously, god help anyone who has the temerity to bitch about Netflix to me. I promise to go off. It’s worth ruining friendships over. Here’s why:

Netflix has been a disruptive, visionary pioneer. A lot of the other great changes you’ve seen in how you get entertained follow in the wake of Netflix. At every point, they’ve been ridiculously cheap for what you get, assuming you use their service correctly.

I’ve always paid for more Netflix than I use, just to give them a tip. Speaking of which, the typical Netflix monthly subscription cost is less than the minimally decent tip for a dinner for two at Appleby’s.

Like Walmart, like Amazon, Netflix best practices for getting goods to customers have revolutionized other businesses.

Compare Netflix to Blockbuster. Which many of the morons threatening to leave Netflix have been doing. Good. Go straight to Blockbuster, every one of you.

Oh, never mind, I just don’t have the energy right now. If you think Blockbuster is better than Netflix you are dead to me.

Here’s my main point:

The people bitching at Netflix right now aren’t bitching at Obama. They are whining about a business that delivers them incredible value being forced by economic circumstances (like the Post Office being about to go tits up) raising prices a little, while they meekly let a gubmint that doesn’t work jack up its prices by thousands of dollars out of their nasty little pocketsses every year.

Your reaction to the Netflix price change is a litmus test. If you’re pissed, you suck. You are the problem. You are ruining this country. Take a good look in the mirror, and then do the rest of us a favor and bash your head into the mirror until a big enough shard falls into the sink and cut your throat with it.

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