Goodbye Comcast

A couple of days ago, I finally turned in my Comcast DVR/converter. It had been sitting in my car for a while. Because I hadn’t been able to turn it in because I hadn’t gotten off work in time to go to their store and stand in line. I’m one of those people that horrid little bitch Obama is asking for more “shared sacrifice.” I’d rather burn my money than “share” any more of it. Next time he whines about working a weekend, I think I’ll just write the white house and ask everyone else there who’s worked the last 4 weekends in a row to suck my dick. I suspect I’ll be sick and tired of having my dick sucked if even 5% of them volunteer. Obama is pretty. That’s it. There’s nothing else there. Except lazy, petulant, over-privileged and pussy-whipped.

There’s this stupid, overfed girl who I have seen at several traffic stops for the last several months. She never gets skinnier. She does have different signs. “Hep my famly.” “Hungry need fud.” It’s all I can do to not swerve into her and call a Soylent Green van.

When I finally managed it, I was first in line.  We’re on the subject of Comcast again. To hell with that lazy girl. I mean, both lazy girls, Obama, and that fat bitch with the signs making a lot more money every day from stupid people than she could make at a job.

There were 4 CSRs. I still had to wait 20 minutes while everyone else jawed about I don’t know what. I was first in line and I had to wait 20 minutes. I read Sultan Knish on my phone while waiting. When I finally got to a CSR, he didn’t try to save me as a cableTV customer. He just tried to sell me on phone service. I told him that Vonage kicks their ass, and that I only keep Vonage in case my cell phone is dead and my house catches on fire. He didn’t try to upsell me on Internet. I had to ask him about it. I knew I wanted faster internet. Not because I’m having any problems right now, but because I want to share Wikileaks files and pictures of Barack Obama wearing Michelle’s underwear without it interfering with me watching Bikini Bimbos 3 on Netflix.

I’ve been a Comcast customer for like 20 years. They didn’t tell me to go fuck myself. They didn’t have that much energy. They just shrugged when I left.




2 Responses to Goodbye Comcast

  1. Comcast says:

    Sorry for the experience. Will you please let me know the location of the office you visited? Also, if you ever decide to come back as one of our customers, let me know. I will be happy to help.


    Mark Casem
    Comcast Corp.
    National Customer Operations

    • Scipio says:

      I’m still a Comcast customer. My beef is not with Comcast, but with Comcast’s business model.

      I’m not going to tell you which of your CSRs popped their bubblegum and said “whatever” when I said I was out of there.

      My distinct impression was that you don’t care who leaves your cable TV service, like Netflix doesn’t care who leaves their mail delivery DVD service. So don’t be obnoxious and punish the people I talked to who’d gotten the message that you don’t care. Punish your CEO.

      As utility companies go, Comcast is a very good one. Their internet service has been stellar. I think I’ve had about 48 hours of downtime that I’ve noticed in the last 10 years.

      When it comes to cable TV service, Comcast has consistently improved, added features and tried hard to make things better.

      Most Americans hate their cable TV and Internet providers because most Americans are spoiled little bitches. They hate everyone and everything they depend on that isn’t 100% perfect. Except they don’t demand 100% perfection of themselves when at work.

      So I don’t want to be just another complainer. I hope I can offer advice that might even get passed around at Comcast. I like attention.

      Here’s what happened that led to me canceling cable:

      I got hit with late fees for not paying my bill. I don’t usually open bills. I go into my online financial software and take about 3 minutes a month guesstimating the bill plus some, and fire it off. I have credit balances on most bills, some in excess of $1000. I hate paying bills.

      I was estimating my Comcast bill as about $150 a month. It had crept up to about $200 a month. So you got my attention with a late charge.

      I went, really? I’m paying more for cable and Internet than for electricity?

      I looked at what we watched. Food Channel (for my wife) on the weekends. Fox News (for me) when I want white noise. True Blood as the only reason we still have HBO, but we can wait for DVD, to hell with HBO. $120 a month for all that? It wasn’t the money, it was the stupidity of spending that much money for that little consumption.

      Of course, Comcast offers a lot for the $120. But I DON’T USE IT. I looked on iTunes, and my wife could get all her Food Channel faves for abour $30 a month. That’s a ridiculous price, but still cheaper than Comcast. I can wait a year to buy True Blood Season whatever on Blu-ray for a third of what I pay you a month to watch it in real time.

      I started experimenting.

      I bought a Roku. Oh. My. God. Then I bought another one for downstairs.

      Hulu Plus, Netflix, Xbox, Zune and Amazon on Demand. Lions and tigers, oh my!

      With a $50 RCA indoor antenna (I am lucky–most over the air reception is more problematic) I can get all my local HD channels with SiliconDust net-attached tuners. Windows Media Center is the best DVR ever. Sits in the basement, serves up everything reliably.

      All that stuff I bought to experiment with ditching cable TV, it’s cheaper than a year of cable TV. And it was crazy fun to play with.

      Here’s the big thing I’ve learned so far that you might want to forward to your corporate execs:

      When I want to pay attention to TV, I don’t watch cable TV. I’ve been paying you guys $120 a month for background noise.

      Doesn’t matter what awesome stuff you have available, a lot of us come home at night and just want background noise.

      We have Netflix streaming, we have blu-rays from Netflix sitting for weeks without being watched, all kinds of good, cheap entertainment that demands foreground attention. We mostly watch background noise anyhow.

      $120 a month for background noise is asinine.

      You are in the background noise business.

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