Briber-in-Chief

President Toonces never fails to sink to a new low just when you thought he’d gone as low as he can go. He’s running for president of the whole country like a Chicago ward boss. He’s trying to tune in to every lazy bone and crazy bone Americans have. Unfortunately for them, Toonces and his minions take their cues about what’s going on and who matters from the lamestream media echo chamber.

This week, they’ve noticed that the Occupy people are (1) tattooed slackers, goths and brats or (2) older tattooed slackers, goths and brats with big student loan bills from wasting their early 20’s on the dole at institutions of feminazi indoctrination. So Toonces is pandering to their stupidity and hoping they’ll think he’s really going to write off all their debt.

That’s not what he’s actually saying, but collegiate morons who pretended to study to avoid adulthood for another 4 to 7 years will think that’s what he’s saying, and that’s all that matters.

If you have federally insured student loan debt that you are hoping you can get out of paying back, I support you not paying it back, in these ways: I hope you get cancer and die before you’re 30. I hope you get kidnaped by Hannibal Lecter and he keeps you alive for several days. I hope you get hit and dragged under a city bus and you cost the taxpayers a hundred thousand dollars in medical costs before you expire after a couple of weeks in pain that no amount of morphine can alleviate. I hope you get syphilis. I hope a piece of space junk flames out and lands in your brain and leaves you smarter than the average Democrat voter.

 

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