74 down 80,810,836 to go

Is it bad for me to be happy, to actually laugh out loud sometimes, when people die?

For example, when that Iranian nuclear scientist got killed from a motorcyclist speeding by and attaching a bomb to his car. I laughed like hell at the pictures of the blown up car. There have been pictures lately of the guy with his 3 year old daughter, supposed to make us feel sorry. I don’t feel very sorry. Wish the Israelis or whoever did this good deed had killed him earlier, so she’d remember her horrible amoral dad even less, but at least they got him before she was 9 or older when it really would have screwed with her.

Now, the Egyptian soccer fans riot and kill 74 and I’m supposed to feel sorry? I didn’t laugh out loud. I probably would have if they’d set the footage to Benny Hill music. The overwhelming majority of Egyptians should just kill themselves. I get it. Not their fault that they were raised to be assholes. But nearly all Egyptians are violent, horrible, uncivilized assholes.

There are a lot of people that, when they die, I’m happy. Like Woo hoo! happy.

When Kim Jong whatsisname died, I just hoped he died in agony. When his little brat new Glorious Leader dies, I hope he’s torn apart and eaten by his starving people, while he’s still conscious. Seriously, I’d laugh at that like a George Romero movie come true.

I didn’t feel a bit bad or sympathetic when Khaddaffy got his final beatdown. I would have been even happier had his beat-downers gotten blown up 5 seconds after. People in Libya are gonna wish they had Daffy Khaddaffy back.

90 year old Nazis who get caught by the Mossad–I chuckle when they get their long-delayed fucking with.

Platitudinously, we’re all supposed to mourn the deaths of the most evil of fucks. I get why we’re supposed to. It’s to keep us in touch with the fundamental humanity of the most depraved and violent among us, and thus to keep us from becoming one of them.

I’m not sure that argument works. I haven’t noticed myself more prone to punching old ladies in crosswalks or slapping children in shopping malls or cutting people off in traffic because they have their turn signals on.

But I still laugh my ass off when old Nazis and young Iranian nuclear scientists get assassinated. We need to exterminate this breed, no matter how cute their kids are.


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