Songs in the Key of Douchebag?

Tonight, me & the missus are catching up on American Idol. We’re like 10 shows behind. On this show, they’re making the boys sing Stevie Wonder songs and the vagino-Americans sing Whitney Houston songs.

One of the boys sings Master Blaster from Hotter Than July.

I own Hotter Than July. I bought it on LP and CD. I think it’s an underrated album. It’s all really good except Master Blaster and the MLK tribute song. Sorry, but if that MLK song weren’t about MLK, everyone would agree it sucks too.

Master Blaster is a shitty reggae party song. I’ve never made it through the whole thing. It was a big hit, god knows why. When I had the LP, it opened side 2 and I just put the needle down after it. On CD, I had a CD player that could suppress shitty songs. Now that I’m all Squeezebox’ed up, I just rated this piece of crap horrible song 1 and it’s never annoyed me. Until tonight.

One of the American Idol boys, the one with the long crimped hair, chose this song. While Jimmy Iovine and Mary J Blige were coaching him, I was saying to the missus, oh, boy, this is going to suck, what is he thinking, did he get brain damage in a recent curling iron accident? But he actually sang it ok, made it more listenable than Stevie did.

So for the first time, I heard this lyric:

“Peace has come to Zimbabwe, Third World got it right on this one…”

I was gobsmacked.

This album came out in 1980, just after Rhodesia became Zimbabwe and Mugabe came to power.

First, let’s talk about crimp-boy, who oblivously sang those lyrics, and all the American Idol handlers who didn’t stop him. He might as well have sung: “Hitler’s come to the Danube, Third Reich got it right on this one…” Robert Mugabe may not be as competent, but he’s as evil as Stalin, the last 3 NoKo dictators, Mao, Hitler, Kone and Saddam Hussein.

Second, let’s talk about Stevie Fucking Wonder. I spent about 15 minutes just now searching for any indication that Little Stevie Blunder has ever apologized or done anything to correct his annoying reggae paean to to murderous totalitarianism. When Paula Cole got all born again, she expurgated her dirty songs on her previous albums. When Cat Stevens turned into a loud-mouth Muslim douchebag, Natalie Merchant removed her version of Peace Train from the 10,000 Maniacs In My Tribe album.

I just listened now, for the first time ever, to that horrible Master Blaster song all the way through. I probably bought the CD in the mid ’90’s. Long past time for anyone with any sense of moral responsibility to regret cheering Mugabe’s murder squads. Lyric was still there.

I got over Harrison Ford after he became the official child rape apologist for Roman Polanski. Stevie is worse since he pretends to have some enlightened moral authority instead of just being an actor who plays a good guy in the movies. Seriously, Harrison Ford is a cunt. Shame on you if you watch any more of his movies.

Anyhow, Stevie Wonder should goddamn know what’s gone on the last 30 years in Zimbabwe if he wrote a fucking song celebrating Mugabe’s ascension. I have questions out to his people. Please, please, please, Stevie prove you’re not just another arrogant amoral Hollywood identity-politics douchebag.

This is exactly as bad as someone in 1968 pretending that they hadn’t heard anything since 1938 that indicated that Hitler was a bad guy and they probably shouldn’t have supported him.

If Stevie Wonder won’t publicly repudiate Mugabe, then Stevie Wonder is a horrible human being. Anyone care to argue with that?

UPDATE 2016: Never heard back from Stevie’s people. At least he’s not Michael Jackson. The Blu-Ray of Songs in the Key of Life is amazing. I justify listening to it by being patronizing of Little Stevie. He’s stupid, not evil.




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