Choose: Gays marry or we keep the First Amendment

July 29, 2012

It’s been at least a couple of weeks since I’ve been so pissed off about another assault on fundamental human rights than I am about the Chick-Fil-A thing. Three douchebag blue state mayors (Boston, San Francisco, Chicago) have said they’d use their political power to prevent this fast food chain from doing business in their cities. Oh, and one Chicago alderman, with Chick-Fil-A’s application in front of him, said he was going to deny it purely because the owner opposes gay marriage.

Gay marriage is on the Washington state ballot this fall. I am going to vote against it even though I’m in favor of gay marriage in principle.

What these mayors have done is not only unconscionable, it’s illegal. I hope civil rights lawsuits are filed against each of them. I doubt those lawsuits will go anywhere. But I hope they’re filed.

Gays have about 3 months to convince me they’re not just another evil special interest group trying to impose their will on me. That they’re not going to try to force religious denominations that oppose gay marriage to marry gays. That they’re not going to file lawsuits against wedding photographers who don’t want to take jobs to record gay marriages (that’s already happened).

Freedom of religion and freedom of speech are far more important to me than gay marriage. If gays make me choose, they lose.

UPDATE 2016: I actually voted for the gay marriage proposition in Washington, and it passed.The wording promised no shenanigans, but that was a lie. Gay people acted horribly, as I knew they would, but I had to do the right thing.

I don’t regret my vote, but I despise all gay people who have supported forcing Christian bakers and photographers to service their weddings. I’ve lost several gay friends, and I hope I never find them again. Fuck off, you fascist fags.

I had to vote my conscience and support marriage equality even though I knew most gay people are fucking asshole Democrats who ruin everything. I will defend the rights of gay people to my dying day, even though most gay people are self-serving cunts who care nothing about real human rights.


Brave Sir Jamie Ran Away

July 28, 2012

Jamie Rohrs is catching a lot of shit these days, but not as much as he deserves. Rohrs was in the balcony of the Aurora theater when the shooting started, with his girlfriend and their 2 kids, one an infant. I’ve already said what I think about people who were there with their kids–I don’t think much of them. But this goes double for this couple whose kids would have been far better off if both their parents had gotten their Darwin Awards that night.

Jamie Rohrs had the baby when the shots started. The baby started crying. Rohrs went, “Oh, shit, this little bastard is drawing attention my way!” So he ditched the baby and moved away. He followed up this cowardice with an act of physical bravery to save his own skin–he dropped from the balcony to the main floor near the door and beat feet out of there. Leaving his girlfriend and his 2 kids to fend for themselves. Leaving his girlfriend to locate the howling baby on her own.

How do I know this is what happened, given everything else the media got wrong? Because stupid Jamie went on CNN to be interviewed by Piers Morgan about what happened. You can watch the video on YouTube. He doesn’t admit to what I describe above. But his story is shit. He claims he ditched the baby because he thought the baby would be more likely to get hurt if he jumped with it instead of leaving it behind to be shot or trampled on the floor. He says he was thinking about his poor kids being orphans and how important it was for him to survive. Why would this idiot consent to be interviewed? Because he’s an idiot, and he thought he could get out there and spin the story before someone else ratted him out. He really thinks we’re buying his bullshit. And Piers Morgan, giant douchebag that he is, once again caught flat-footed, just let it all go by.

Other reports say Rohrs ran into the parking lot, got in his car and hightailed it out of there, afraid there were other shooters nearby. I don’t know if that’s true or not, since that’s what the media reported.

Rohrs proposed to his girlfriend in the hospital right after the shootings. She said yes. Christ, these two have reproduced two times. Dimbulb girlfriend was shepherded to safety with her kids by a 19 year old male stranger who got shot doing it, but only in the leg. He’s going to be fine.

There is, I hear, a Facebook page dedicated to trying to convince dumbass baby-momma to rescind her Yes. I understand the motivation, but I hope she goes through with the wedding. At least it will keep her from further polluting the gene pool for a little while. What we need is a website offering each of them $10,000 to get sterilized and another $10,000 if they put those poor kids up for adoption.



Toonces bares his teeth

July 24, 2012

One of the most lazy and evil of all leftist tropes was said out loud last week by President Toonces. I quote:

There are a lot of wealthy, successful Americans who agree with me because they want to give something back. If you’ve been successful, you didn’t get there on your own. You didn’t get there on your own. I’m always struck by people who think, well, it must be because I was just so smart. There are a lot of smart people out there.  It must be because I worked harder than everybody else. Let me tell you something — there are a whole bunch of hardworking people out there.

If you were successful, somebody along the line gave you some help. There was a great teacher somewhere in your life. Somebody helped to create this unbelievable American system that we have that allowed you to thrive. Somebody invested in roads and bridges. If you’ve got a business, you didn’t build that. Somebody else made that happen. The Internet didn’t get invented on its own. Government research created the Internet so that all the companies could make money off the Internet.

My emphasis added above.

Not only did he say this asinine shit, he said it in a particularly contemptuous off-teleprompter way. This wasn’t a gaffe, it was a tell.

I’ve had it with Obama. I’ve had it with anyone who still supports him. After this, you are the fucking enemy. Obama just displayed his worldview and it’s one where those who work hard owe it all to those who don’t. Where success is a lien. Where the fact that your upper-middle-class taxes paid for all those roads and schools doesn’t matter.

I will take no prisoners now. President Toonces, come and get it, you over-privileged, lazy, articulately-incompetent, resentful, narcissistic self-aggrandizing dumbass. I am so ready to write off friends now in this election.

Anyone who doesn’t recoil from what Toonces said above is a parasite and an asshole, I don’t care what else they are. Toonces, bless you. You gave me garlic to detect vampires.

You declared war on us today. Thank you for, in your infinite incompetence, drawing the battle lines so clearly.

There are theories about how and why human societies advance. The only one that makes any sense is the “great man” theory. There are humans whose genius changes everything. Edison, Jefferson, Whitney, Bell, Ford, Gates, Jobs, Locke, Mises, Hayek, Raymond, Torvalds, Churchill, Ghandi, Sadat….I’m just pulling names at random. In most societies, the great men are suppressed. The genius of Western culture has been that it refused to suppress its geniuses. We allowed them to upset entrenched interests. This is why we aren’t the Middle East right now.

Fewer than 1%, far fewer than 1% of human beings, ever invent anything that matters. The only thing that really matters is, Does your society protect and incent the statistically wispy few inventors?

Barack Obama just told us how stuck on stupid he is. That he thinks genius and innovation just grows naturally on roads and fibre cables, like moss, and requires nothing else to be effective. Obama’s never invented anything. He’s in that middling-smart IQ range that is smart enough to know they can fuck with people to make money but not smart enough to actually produce anything and kind of pissed off about it because they’re too dumb to admit that their Ivy League education turned them into hothouse flowers who are nothing more than legal con men.  Every day of his life, Obama lives in subconscious anxiety that the chimerical system he depends on will collapse since he has no idea what it depends on. Good. I hope it makes you smoke yourself to death, you stupid bitch. Please don’t shoot up a movie theater.

Here’s what innovation requires, at minimum, Obama, you big-eared moron:

* rule of law

* reasonable IP protection

* PROFIT. Innovation rock stars should get paid like Bruce Springsteen and Michael Jordan.

* Protection from politically connected, entrenched interests.

And… drum roll please….

* small government. Big government will always be captured by entrenched interests.

Here’s what Obama told us he thinks (I use the word “think” loosely):

* Most everybody is working hard.

* Most everybody is working smart.

* If you’re doing better than the people to your right or to your left, it’s because you’re lucky.

Fuck you, Toonces. Even  though your stupid life is about luck and being pretty, that’s not how the rest of us make it happen. President Kardashian, indeed.

I work harder than most people. I work at a place where most people work harder than most people, and I work harder than a lot of them. I’m no millionaire. Most millionaires I know, and I know a bunch of them, work WAY harder than I do. They think work/life balance is just an excuse pussies like me use to justify being lazy.

Nearly everyone who is poor in this country is a lazy fuck. 45 million Americans are on food stamps right now. 90% of them are lazy fucks.

10 Million Americans are on Social Security disability, with the ranks swelling rapidly as the 99 weeks of unemployment runs out for more and more lazy fucks. I promise you, at least half of those people are lazy fucks.

Don’t get me started on unemployment benefits. I have friends and family who are lazy fucks who’ve found jobs suddenly on week 100. Strangely, the cushy government “safety net” seems to bring out the “lazy fuck” in a lot of people.

Section 8…If I were in charge, I’d drone-strike every single Section 8 rental and reimburse the landlords.

Not only do all you lazy fucks not know what it takes to become a multi-millionaire, you wouldn’t do it if you knew. I know, and I won’t do it. News flash: the great majority of millionaires in the USA started out without having a million dollars. Some of them gamed the system or Kardashianed it, like Obama did. But most of them did great work that benefitted a lot of other people.

I wish the working poor would do the math on how much they’ve “given back to society” when calculating their resentment rights. Oh, right, I forgot. The working poor hate math.

In most cases, the working poor have been fully compensated with their paychecks. There is no surplus value that can be attributed to them.

All those iPhones you poor people can afford even though you’re poor? In a country where Steve Jobs didn’t die early as a multimillionaire, none of you would have iPhones. Divide the number of iPhones out there by Jobs’ wealth: each of you paid Jobs a “tax” of about $109 for the iPhone. Forget everything else he did: Do you own a Mac computer? Have you seen a Pixar movie? Do you have an iPod? The “tax” you paid Jobs keeps going down and down for each of those you benefited from. But let’s call it $109. Would you be willing to not have an iPhone or iPod or i-anything, for your kids to have never seen any of the Toy Story movies or Cars or Up or Finding Nemo? Seriously, let’s do the deal–you can even keep your previous experiences. For $109 you agree to never again use an Apple product or watch a Pixar movie. Deal?

Well, Obama is snuffing out the next Steve Jobs. If you vote for him, enjoy watching your Pixar movies on your iPhone till it breaks, because that’s as good as it will ever get. Nothing new from now on.

I wouldn’t trade my life for Jobs’ life. Or Edison’s. Or Bill Gates’ life or even Tom Cruise’s. They have better cars and better TVs but I get to watch my TV with only occasional work interruptions. These are exceptionally talented, nutty, smart, neurotic, driven, obsessed, energetic people who thrive on that kind of stress and isolation and exhaustion and adrenaline and epiphany and egotism and whatever. Turn ’em loose! A society that does that thrives. We each give them a relatively small amount of money and in turn they give us their lives and genius. We win.

Were I ever to shake President Toonces hand, I would hold it tight so I could punch him harder in the face. Toonces takes our money and gives back value only to his patrons and minons–the unions, the crony capitalists, the entrenched interests. Obama is the ultimate conservative, protecting status quo economic and ideological interests against innovators. Imagine if we’d elected this vampire in the 18th Century. Free leeches for everyone!

I’m not likely to shake Obama’s hand. I’d rather stick my hand up a horse’s ass, which would be about the same thing. So, for the Federale douchebags who might think this post is a threat against the President, I have no intention of ever shaking Barack Obama’s hand. I’d rather shake the hoof of Satan. I will never go to one of his events. If he were to knock on my door, yes, I would punch him in the face. I have a NO SOLICITING sign. Keep your little bitch off my property, and he’s perfectly safe.

You took your kid to see Batman at the first midnight show?

July 21, 2012

The last Batman movie starred Heath Ledger embodying evil more effectively than we’ve ever seen it.

And your kid is dead now. Nice job. Even if your kid were alive, you suck as a parent.

Politically correctly, I should feel sorry for you. I feel sorry for your dead kid. You are shitty parents. Not because your kid is dead, but because you couldn’t figure out how to get a babysitter before indulging yourselves. If your kid weren’t dead, your kid would have been raised by you.

There is no parent at the Batman Massacre who has a dead kid now who isn’t a fucking asshole.

UPDATE: We know now that a six year old girl was killed and her mom was shot. All babies present at the midnight movie all made it out safely.

Which raises the question, why in the hell were there children present at a movie like this?

If there’s anything to be thankful for it’s that the murderer’s gas mask obscured his vision. From the witness interviews I’ve seen, he probably couldn’t see anything below chest height.

Mom of dead six year old girl is likely to pull through, since, if you believe news reports, she’s asking after her daughter, and people around her are stalling her about her daughter being dead.

I was tempted to take down this post. It’s pretty harsh, especially now that we have a name and a face.

And how can you blame the mom of a 6 year old for the death of her child for taking her to a movie?

I want to be crystal clear. I’m not blaming that mom for her 6 year old dying. That was completely unforseeable.

I’m blaming that mom for taking a six year old girl to see the followup movie to one of the most sadistic, violent dystopian movies ever. Maybe in the wake of this tragedy I should just shut up and not make points about shitty parenting. Yeah, like that’s going to happen.

People took their babies to this show. That’s not that big a deal, except for the annoying-everyone factor. At least the babies have no idea what’s going on and couldn’t be heard over the soundtrack.

The fact that there were 3 to 6 year old children at this show who could somewhat follow the horror happening on-screen pisses me off. Every single parent who brought a child who might be old enough to watch this movie is an asshole. The ones of you who brought infants, you’re just selfish douchebags right now. Probably you’re assholes a few years from now.

So, mom of dead 6 year old, stand and deliver, why were you there? Let’s advance a few theories:

  • Your daughter watched The Dark Knight over and over again on DVD, giggling hysterically every time she saw The Joker slam that guy’s head into the table, jamming a pencil into his eyesocket, and so you went to see this movie as a treat to her?
  • Or, you treated being a mom so unseriously compared to your Batman fandom, that you dragged your six year old girl out to a midnight movie filled with traumatizing incomprehensible violence just so you could get your first night jollies?
  • Or some guy you were into wanted to go and you couldn’t find a sitter?

There is no universe in which that sweet little dead girl has a good mother.

UPDATE 2016: I stand behind this post. We need to shame people like this and not just when a tragedy makes us notice them.







Would concealed carry have prevented the Batman massacre?

July 21, 2012


This attack should go into the dictionary under “diabolical.”

This guy wore body armor, head to toe, obviously because he expected return fire. He was ready for all us concealed carry types. Maybe we could have knocked him down, stunned him. Probably, we would have missed.

What would have stopped him? A Todd Beamer “Let’s Roll” might have reduced the body count. What would have worked was charging him and taking him down. Not people carrying pistols. This shit is way beyond people carrying pistols. Unarmed people swarming the guy with the gun.

I’m listening to right-wing radio guys saying that people in the audience with pistols would have stopped this. I’m listening to left-wing mainstream media guys saying that gun control would have stopped this. Idiots.

The only thing that could have aborted this is people overwhelming that asshole, people willing to die to stop him, instead of just cowering under seats and playing dead.

We all need to ask ourselves, What would I have done? what should I have done?

That’s not a rhetorical question, except in the safe USA.

Most people survived. Why did they survive? Why did he just leave? Did he run out of ammo? Thinking from the clues in the BS media reports, I have the impression that he stopped because the actuality of killing random people didn’t live up to the fantasy. It took a couple of minutes for him to figure that out, and that latency killed a lot of people. He stopped because he wasn’t having fun anymore.  Else why tell the cops his apartment was booby-trapped? He got what he wanted and then found out it wasn’t that great. I wonder what he’s feeling tonight, not because I sympathize but forensically. If you get on a guy like this really fast and interview him, we might learn something before he clams up.

I’m listening to Mike Gallagher and Mike Bloomberg both trying to make hay while the 2nd Amendment shines. Assholes.

I hear that when the Batman Massacre guy’s mom was called, she said something like, Oh, yeah, that sounds right. I’ll be real interested to hear what this guy’s parents did to reign him in.I’ll bet they did a lot.


Mitt vs Toonces on the Batman Massacre

July 21, 2012

Obama and Romney both made public statements, with Obama getting out earlier and scoring a point by suggesting a cessation of campaign hostilities for a day.

Still, Romney won, hands down. To be fair, Romney used to be a Mormon bishop, so he’s presided over multiple funerals before and Obama doesn’t have that experience.

But Toonces coldly, nearly sociopathically, screwed up once again, like he did when that mad Muslim murdered all those soldiers at Ft. Hood. Instead of leading his remarks with the tragedy, he spent 2 minutes on politics before getting to “why so serious?”

I watched Toonces live and I couldn’t believe it. He’d had several hours to get the messaging right. Obviously, he was delivered a speech via FedEx and he did a good job delivering it and going off-teleprompter (I hope–if his hesitations were scripted, I’m going into total ick-mode). But seriously, WTF is he doing when something horrific happens that he first has to always stroke his supporters before responding to what really matters?

I’m not going to blame Obama for how the people present at that speech reacted. Their inappropriate, creepy cheers and chants may have just been about their inability to switch context. But it was inappropriate and creepy. Probably, that was just Florida, the most inappropriate and creepy place on earth.

Romney’s response was perfect. I’m hearing people say he “played the religious card.” Fuck you every one of you. Obama played the religious card with his perfunctory “…and God bless America” as he was walking offstage, delivered like the guy who just realized he forgot to thank the hostess when leaving the party.

Romney’s response was full of Mormon cadences. Most of America hasn’t heard these before, so they’ll think they’re more eloquent than they really are. I’ve been to more than a few Mormon funerals myself, so I’ve heard it before. But just because they’re Mormon cliches doesn’t mean they aren’t heartfelt. Advantage Romney on two counts: he got to say eloquent things that most Americans hadn’t heard before, and, though what he said is quotidian in Mormon circles, he said it sincerely.

Here’s what I really dislike about Obama: I have no idea what he really believes. I am not even sure he’s a leftist or socialist. I suspect he doesn’t think at the level of “what I believe in.”

Hey, did you hear they’re going to do a remake of Groundhog Day?

July 17, 2012

The Amazing Spider-Man shows up again “rebooted” barely a decade after the last round. “Rebooted” is movie-company BS for “seriously, we’re not just doing the same thing all over again again because you’re too risk-averse to go see anything you haven’t already seen before you thumb-sucking moron.”

I swore I was not going to GHD (Ground Hog Day) myself and I would boycott this retread, but the reviews were really good and I love big 3D IMAX spectacles. Besides, me and the missus had a couple of IMAX passes, so it was free. And I’m trying to perfect my rationalization skills.

Of course, in this movie, they are doing the same thing over again over again. I can’t say I blame them. There’s a lot of money at stake making a movie and you’ve got to provide a lot more in a commercial theater than people can do for themselves in a home theater to overcome the home theater advantages of being able to pause, rewind, pee, snack, adjust volume, temperature, lighting and fall asleep on the couch.

I can’t replicate IMAX at home yet, but ordinary movies look and sound better at home than they do in ordinary theaters. And it completely makes sense that if you’re going to bet $230 million (yep, that’s the Spider-man budget), you want to increase your odds as much as you can, so go for the the built-in audience by repeating what you know audiences already like.

We now really are getting to the absurd with this though. Tim Burton is remaking his own 1984 movie Frankenweenie in 3D.

So, how was the movie, you ask?

I’d have liked it a lot more if I hadn’t seen the first Raimi movie with Toby Maguire. It’s that exact same movie with a few differences, some bad, mostly good. It’s the kind of movie that deserves a bullet-point review:

  • I think the acrobatic sequences are mostly better, but I could be wrong since I haven’t watched the previous version again. A lot of it is very Cirque du Soleil, too much of it is roller coaster speed, and a bunch of it is extreme skateboarding (including very literally leveraging his skateboarding skills). A-minus. I remember the Raimi version as capturing the dream-like joy of flying too high and going uh-oh….who hasn’t had those dreams? Even though I think he actually says uh-oh a time or two, the flying sequences are treated much more like an extreme sport than a thing of wonder.
  • The script has a lot of WTF? moments. Spider-man gets the living shit kicked out of him and shows up at his new girlfriend’s bedroom window to get his boo-boo’s band-aided. Previous context in the movie, he should have been trying to shield her from how much risk he was taking, but hey, any excuse to do close-ups on Emma Stone getting all moist.
  • There are a lot of good moments. The movie never really gels, but it has quite a few good ideas in it. The post-radioactive-spider-bite scenes as Parker figures out his new powers are much more interesting, and funny, than in the Raimi version.
  • Sally Field sucks as Aunt May. I’m kinda blaming the director for this. Or maybe she refused to dye her hair. Her physicality is all wrong for the part. Martin Sheen is very, very good as Uncle Ben. (In the manosphere, this movie will get an A. Denis Leary and Martin Sheen both pitch-perfectly play old school gruff masculine role models and protectors.)
  • I loves me some Emma Stone, but everybody quit hating on Kirsten Dunst. I really don’t understand why Dunst has become such a punchline the last several years. I guess it’s one of those piling-on things that just gains momentum with the stupid.
  • The Lizard as villain completely works.
  • The evolution and use of the Spider-Man costume is a lot of fun throughout the movie. The costume starts out pretty much as just a ski mask, and stays that way for a surprisingly long time. The web-shooter and webbing is front and center in the movie, not just a way of getting from here to there. It’s given properties and limitations, and then they are used pretty effectively.

Anyhow, if you liked the last ones, go see this one. You’ll like this too, but it’s not a new movie.