Mitt vs Toonces on the Batman Massacre

Obama and Romney both made public statements, with Obama getting out earlier and scoring a point by suggesting a cessation of campaign hostilities for a day.

Still, Romney won, hands down. To be fair, Romney used to be a Mormon bishop, so he’s presided over multiple funerals before and Obama doesn’t have that experience.

But Toonces coldly, nearly sociopathically, screwed up once again, like he did when that mad Muslim murdered all those soldiers at Ft. Hood. Instead of leading his remarks with the tragedy, he spent 2 minutes on politics before getting to “why so serious?”

I watched Toonces live and I couldn’t believe it. He’d had several hours to get the messaging right. Obviously, he was delivered a speech via FedEx and he did a good job delivering it and going off-teleprompter (I hope–if his hesitations were scripted, I’m going into total ick-mode). But seriously, WTF is he doing when something horrific happens that he first has to always stroke his supporters before responding to what really matters?

I’m not going to blame Obama for how the people present at that speech reacted. Their inappropriate, creepy cheers and chants may have just been about their inability to switch context. But it was inappropriate and creepy. Probably, that was just Florida, the most inappropriate and creepy place on earth.

Romney’s response was perfect. I’m hearing people say he “played the religious card.” Fuck you every one of you. Obama played the religious card with his perfunctory “…and God bless America” as he was walking offstage, delivered like the guy who just realized he forgot to thank the hostess when leaving the party.

Romney’s response was full of Mormon cadences. Most of America hasn’t heard these before, so they’ll think they’re more eloquent than they really are. I’ve been to more than a few Mormon funerals myself, so I’ve heard it before. But just because they’re Mormon cliches doesn’t mean they aren’t heartfelt. Advantage Romney on two counts: he got to say eloquent things that most Americans hadn’t heard before, and, though what he said is quotidian in Mormon circles, he said it sincerely.

Here’s what I really dislike about Obama: I have no idea what he really believes. I am not even sure he’s a leftist or socialist. I suspect he doesn’t think at the level of “what I believe in.”

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