I was at a party given by genteel liberal friends. Everyone who’s part of this circle knows by now that it’s not a good idea to bait me for not being in the political herd. Yet they can’t resist indulging their sadomasochism.
A particularly genteel and nice fellow asked me, So now how do you feel about being a Republican? Hmm? I responded, pinkie perfectly balancing my glass of Chardonnay. You know, with how they’re attacking gay rights now. (I voted for gay marriage in Washington state, and am well-known to not have a problem with gay people, well not till they all started acting like fascist assholes the last couple of years.)
What is expected is that I take the question seriously, at least at first, make a reasonable philosophical argument, start getting shouted down (literally–why are Seattle liberals such crybaby ear-stopping How Dare You! addicts?), thus goading me into hoisting the black flag and laying into them with gleeful mockery. Oh, wait, now maybe I do understand why they keep baiting me . . .
This time was different. I jumped immediately to the sarcasm, getting my shots in before they had time to work up a good dudgeon.
“You do know that black people are more anti-gay rights than Republicans. Even more blacks than Mormons voted for Prop 8 in California. And blacks are 95% Democrats.”
Uncertain, perhaps shocked, silence followed by bouts of stammering. I had responded for the first time with no intention of logically persuading, but only with mocking.
“Now that I’ve got you here, I know that Democrats believe that black people are your pets, and so you know them better than I do, and I’m curious-why do black people believe in such weird shit? Like all the conspiracy theories about the CIA, that gays are awful, that OJ is innocent and Jesus is Lord. What do you think is wrong with them?”
The conversation ended mostly visually, and I spent the rest of the night dogging the poor guy by shoe-horning in snide comments about the sinister powers of the CIA.
What have I learned recently that made me respond this way?
- Alway on offense, never on defense (Trump)
- There is no defense against ridicule. (Alinsky)
- Make them live up to their own rules. (Alinsky)
- Go outside their expertise (I interpret this as assert your facts first instead of refuting theirs) (Trump/Alinsky)
- Attack people, not ideas (Trump/Alinsky)
- Make sure you’re having fun (Alinsky)
The voice I hear in my head now when I act this way (and I’m doing it more and enjoying it a lot) is Milo Yiannopoulos.
We were not put here to convert Democrats, but to defeat them. The only reasons to argue with a Democrat are (1) to make them worry that there are other people like you, and (2) to entertain and encourage onlookers who also can’t stand the Democrats but are bewildered, think they are alone, and don’t think it’s safe to say what they think. (This is called starting a “preference cascade.”)