The Bitch Bubble

October 25, 2012

Nearly everything American women say in public to and about themselves is self-aggrandizing, narcissistic bullshit. That’s been true for 50 years, but something has changed lately.

American women have gone from claiming they’re generally better and more enlightened than men to asserting they get more done, get paid more and they like one night stands more. They’ve gone from self-serving to delusional.

This morning, I saw yet another story on Good Morning America or Today about whether it’s worth it to get a college degree anymore. Every time the mainstream media does this story, they come back with a resounding, in-the-tank-for-the-educational-establishment Yes! But this time, not quite so much. The victim of the day was a dumb chick who majored in French and was now working in “customer service.” She thought she’d get a free ride as a UN translator. When interviewed in her cubicle, she remained plucky and unbowed, sure that being a French translator at the UN would come roaring back. The expert on the segment mildly suggested that she might want to try to get a job at a company that has offices in France. This had never occurred to this dumb bitch, who obviously thought she was going to be Le Marlo Thomas and live in New York the rest of her life on a boondoggle UN salary.

I bring this up because this is one example of stupid loser women being touted as winners in cover stories every damn month in article after article in The Atlantic and other middle-brow magazines that cater to the vanity of females. In truth, these women are shallow semi-articulate idiots who’ve wasted their early 20’s learning to parrot polysyllables without actually being able to do much except put out or otherwise service customers for near minimum wage.

Women are not winning in this culture. There are more dumb broads than men in college now because colleges have learned that women are easier marks for nonsensical loans and majors. Women are racking up more college debt they’ll never pay back, and are, a few years out of college, desperately looking for husbands who will assume that debt. They are lazily and vaguely hoping to get jobs in dying institutions that can pay big only in prosperous times–government, non-profits, teaching. They are oblivious to the fact that they look for jobs from such institutions exactly like rich wives look to their husbands to bankroll boutiques.

In STEM degrees and fields, women are ridiculously underrepresented. Emphasis on “ridiculously.”  I work in a STEM field and less than 10% of the technical work is done by women and less than 1% of the excellent work is done by them. It’s been 50 years since Women’s Lib–how dare women do so little of even the metaphorical heavy lifting at work, much less the real heavy lifting?

Either women can’t compete with men or refuse to. There’s no glass ceiling blocking them, it’s their fantasy of glass slippers. Educating women is a huge waste of resources–the typical man gives back far more to the economy, whether educated or not than the typical French/Womens Studies/Sustainability female major. In fact, the more debt a woman racks up in college, the less likely she is to contribute and pay it off, since the more likely it is she will need a man to pay it off for her. She drops out of the work force and focuses on trading blowjobs to her husband for monthly student loan payments.

Female arrogance in America has reached the kind of irrational pitch and feverish salesmanship that is associated with all bubbles.

I bitch a lot about how nearly all commercials portray men as incompetent shlubs needing to be scolded and nagged by their longsuffering wives. OK, women are the target audience  of most commercials, so shouldn’t commercials cater to women? Let’s assume that commercials accurately appeal to women. Do most women like seeing themselves portrayed as matriarchal condescending cunts? Because, in most commercials, women are horrible, bitchy, passive aggressive shrews.

Yeah, actually, I think commercials do appeal to the typical American Woman psyche. American women seek that ideal.

The bubble’s about to burst, bitches.


God Help America

October 21, 2012

There’s an ABC show called “What Would You Do?” that I occasionally watch with sick fascination when I’m in the mood for feeling despair about the state of our culture.

The show is similar to “Candid Camera” but instead of setting up embarrasing situations tries to mess with people by setting up moral dilemmas for them.

My despair is not because of the ordinary people who fail the moral tests, but because of those who pass them. The show’s version of the right thing to do is frequently appalling.

Here’s a particularly egregious example:

A woman with two middle school kids is planted in a grocery store. She induces one of her kids to clumsily steal a wallet out of a purse in a grocery cart in front of other shoppers. The shoppers initially rat the brat out. When the female Fagin denies possession of the wallet, the faux victim has a hissy fit and stalks off to get the manager. Here’s where it gets interesting.

The second the victim is out of sight, Bad Mom starts claiming victimhood, saying she’s hungry and just couldn’t think of another way to get food for her brood. Without exception, the shoppers melt and “help.” Not a single one even mentions how horrible it is for a parent to actively teach her kids to steal. Not one person does one goddamn thing to help those kids.

This is not a Jean Valjean situation. Bad Mom is attractive, wearing nice clothes and obviously nowhere near desperation or starvation. And Jean Valjean wouldn’t have chickened out and pimped out his kids.

Now, I know it’s possible that they didn’t show people who reacted differently. According to a crawl on the screen, nobody did. To be fair, and to make sure that I’m not cherry picking, I’m going to objectively summarize what was shown:

  • Vignette #1: After the victim stalks off to find the manager, Bad Mom says “Look, I’m hungry” to the shopper who busted her. Voice over: “And with those simple words, all is forgiven.” Shopper says “You know what, just put it…give it to me and go, take your kids.”  (emphasis added, I mean what the fuck, what the fucking fuck!). Shopper interview afterward: “I understood, maybe it was wrong for me to tell her to go, but I just felt like if I did that both people kind of sort of win.” (both people? what about the kids, you stupid bitch? Oh, and she’s holding a baby while being interviewed.)
  • Vignette #2: “We’re just hungry. We’re just hungry. I need to feed my kids.” Shopper #2 pays her $20 to give back the wallet and “Just go.” Post-interview, the host says, “…but she was teaching her kids how to steal.” Response: “I didn’t think about that. I looked at the kids and I thought of these times and what’s going on in the world. In my own heart I know I did the right thing…but now I want my twenty dollars back!” (fucking Obama voter).
  • Vignette #3: Shopper is pretty aggressive when she sees the theft, confronting Bad Mom and her brats. After victim stalks off, “Just put it somewhere where no one can see it. Put it in the meat.”  “We’re so hungry.” Voice over: “and then [shopper] does something extraordinary.” “I’ll buy your groceries, come on.” Hug. “It’s ok, just go shop, go get a cart and get what you need. Have fun, get things you want!” “Really?” “Yeah, really!” (really? I mean, fucking really?) Then the stupid shopper starts telling Bad Mom how to get government cheese. “Go to Rockland Count Social Services, call them.” Then blah blah the economy, you’re hardly alone, sympathy, I’d vomit if I typed it. Trying to keep it down, I am, but I need to type this because it matters for the next botched moral abortion, the post-interview ends with this: “I’m just trying to help her get help, yeah. To help herself.”
  • Vignette #4: Leslie Geary (sp?–didn’t find her on google), a former TV reporter. I list her name only because she should be arrested as an accomplice. Bad Mom, after victim stalks off, on j’accuse: “Do I look like I need to steal a wallet?” Then “Please don’t tell.”  “Why did you do that? Do you need help? I have dedicated my life to try to help. I get it…” “Help me how?” “I don’t know. You seem like a really nice woman.” (and a card carrying member of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Shoplifting Thieving Cunts Who Pimp Out their Kids). After that, they bond and exchange phone numbers and you can almost hear Elton John and Dionne Warwick singing in the background. Seriously, if I typed it, not only would I vomit but my eyes would bleed. Why do I say Leslie Geary (sp) is an accomplice? She didn’t even try to get the wallet back to the victim. Post-interview was just as inane and amoral as everything else she said. The screen crawl wraps it all up: No one called the police on the pickpockets.
  • Written onscreen tag for the segment: At the end of the day, while everyone knew that stealing the wallet was wrong, most were willing to bend the rules, some even reached into their own pockets and hearts to help a family in need.

Not one of these stupid shopping bitches even noticed, much less helped, the kids. John Quinones, the ABC host, pro forma, asked once about the effect on the kids, and didn’t follow up. That makes him worse. Seriously what a horrible little amoral bitch he is.

Anyone who says “get help” should be punched in the face. That’s Liberal dog whistle code for excusing and abetting evil. A mom in America who teaches her kids to steal is evil. A person or corporation in America who feels sympathy for her, instead of outrage and a burning desire to protect her kids from her, has no working moral compass.

UPDATE 2016: The What Would You Do show on ABC is even more appalling and anti-moral, not just amoral. I am very proud of this post and stand behind every c-word.


Why I am not an anarchist

October 21, 2012

I have two brothers who are mostly living off the grid. I could, probably should, blame myself for this, since I acted this way in my 20’s. Except I was never their hero and I’d knocked off doing this stuff for 20 years before they started. I’m starting to suspect there’s a genetic issue, and I just phenotyped early, thank God. If so, they will get over it too.

I had a book-challenge with one of them earlier this year. I sent him Hayek and he challenged me to read some anarchist guy in Canada. I don’t remember who. I’m not trying to be snarky, but my wife packs up stuff, and “anarchist author canada” didn’t find him. I believe there were a bunch of B’s in his name.

Anyhow, here’s everything I’ve concluded over my entire life about political economy, the good parts version.

There are only two approaches to dealing with other people when it comes to deciding whether you should impose your will on them: libertarian or totalitarian.

Both of these approaches are mere tendencies. You can’t tell which one people really believe from what they claim to believe. But it’s really important to your life to categorize people as one or the other.

Libertarians believe that unless there’s a really really good reason, you have no right to interfere with what other people decide to do, no matter how stupid and destructive it is.

Totalitarians believe that unless there’s a really, really good reason, you should interfere with other people when they are being stupid and destructive.

Moving on, why Anarchy is Idiocy:

Being good at violence is an economic good, just like being good at making bread. The thing that makes civilization possible is that different people are better at some things, and everyone does what they do best to make the sum total of what we can do work more efficiently than if we all tried to be good enough at everything we need and do everything on our own. If we didn’t need each other, there’d be no civilization.

Most people are no good at violence, just as most people are no good at baking bread. The division of labor implies that bakers will pay those good at violence for protecting them from people who are also good at violence who want to take their bread without giving value in return.

That’s how government starts. People who are good at other stuff, but not at violence, pay the good-at-violence to keep them from getting raped and robbed.

Violence, as a business, is different from other businesses. In other businesses, competition rules. Unless you resort to violence to remove your competition, in which case, you are now in the violence business.

In violence, if you don’t have a monopoly, you’re nothing. You must have sovereignty over a territory. The business of violence, as exemplified in gang wars, the Mafia, and governments is all about nobody else but you dares to exercise violence on your turf. Violence is about monopoly. If you don’t get a monopoly, you turn into the Middle East.

The business of violence is different from other businesses. The violence business only works if you have a monopoly. And then the business is subject to all the bad things that happen to monopolies. Laziness, excess, hubris, corruption.

This is the world we live in:

Specialization of labor inevitably leads to most of us paying others who are better at violence to protect us from predation. Because we know how dangerous such people are, we inevitably hedge them in with rules, contracts and management that evolves into government. Like all businesses, government inevitably tries to grow and get more customers, thus the situation we find ourselves in today.

Anarchists talk about “privatizing” government’s function of protecting the peaceful against the violent. As if you’d want people to open up new protection services like they open up new bakeries. When you have competing protection agencies in a single territory, that’s not competition, that’s war. Even the Mafia and street gangs understand that, but anarchists remain oblivious.

The “privatized” version of government anarchists favor will always turn into de facto, and if you’re lucky, de jure monarchy, autocracy or dictatorship because of the business need for a government to have territorial exclusivity. Democracy may be subject to degeneration over time, but it provides external oversight and control of government agents. And the possibility of reigning in government without having to exercise overwhelming violence against the violence experts.

I’d rather try to vote out Obama than overthrow Assad or Putin.

Pink Slime, RIP

April 6, 2012

A horrible little bitch celebrity chef, Jamie Oliver, went ballistic over “pink slime” in ground beef recently. We’ve all been eating “pink slime” for years. Especially you morons who want 90% lean hamburger. You idiots are going to pay a lot more for your lean rabbit meat than you used to.

“Pink slime” aka LFTB (lean finely textured beef) is bits and pieces of cow parts rendered and added to hamburger to cheaply make it more lean. To make sure that it’s sterile it is either exposed to an ammonia gas or mixed with citric acid.

Cargill, the pre-eminent producer of LFTB in the USA has had to lay off nearly 700 people since TLBJO (That Little Bitch Jaime Oliver) went on his ooh! ick! rant.

Cargill uses (used to use) citric acid, not ammonia, to sterilize LFTB. I didn’t see a single lamestream media outlet say that. Instead, they talked only about ammonia, which sounds much grosser. It’s not, by the way. You’ve been eating this forever and going yum yum. Whether ammonia gas or citric acid is used, tastes the same is safe the same. You can’t tell, you’ve never been able to tell.

That’s right, American pink slime really is lean beef of indeterminate composition mixed with a little bit of lemon juice. If you eat hot dogs or sausage, really, stop your bitching. LFTB is way less worse than hot dogs and sausages. Even the FDA agrees it’s a good idea to use LFTB in hamburger. You’re getting a little bit of filet mignon and the occasional heart tissue mixed with your burger. It’s good for you, idiot. It’s more nutritious. Come the apocalypse, pink slime might keep you alive.

As for citric acid, have a coke and some citric acid. Or some commercial ice cream. It’s in damn near everything.

So here’s what really happened: that horrible little foodie bazillioniare Jamie Oliver just cost 700 hard-working Americans their jobs. Aided and abetted by NBC, CBS and ABC. And all you idiots who went ooh! ick! ….  You jackasses just got a significant price hike for hamburger at the grocery store. You deserve it. I don’t. Nice job, you finicky assholes. And you got 700 American workers fired for no reason. Feel good now?

You and TLBJO should send those Cargill un-employees their un-employment checks, but you won’t because you’re stupid douchebags who shit where you eat and then move on. My taxes will go up to pay for what you did. As usual.

This is a minor story. And a major parable.

David Fincher: The soul of the American liberal

April 2, 2012

I just finished watching Fincher’s remake of the Swedish book/movie, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. The movie works well for the first two hours and then devolves into a tedious Occupy Wall Street revenge fantasy. The subtext of the movie is that powerful capitalists are all corrupt; all men are monsters or feckless; women are more or less heroic victims of male monstrousness and/or fecklessness.

Lately, I’ve been thinking that the defining characteristic of the American liberal worldview is that the powerful and successful in free capitalist societies are actually secret monsters who maintain their privilege by dirty dealings and entertain themselves with perversion and horrific secret crimes. It’s pretty close to a blood libel against businessmen.

Dean Koontz, the horror thriller writer, wrote a terrific book called Twilight Eyes. A race of alien werewolves lives among human beings, looking just like the rest of us, except to a few humans who can see the beast underneath. The werewolves delight in causing human misery and tragedy: they make boilers explode in grade schools, cause train wrecks and so on. The typical liberal thinks he sees through the thin veneer of humanity painted on the capitalist monster. He can tell that capitalism is really about exploitation, not free trade between free adults. He knows that all the wealth created is really just a ruse to replace real human values. It’s Soylent Green all the way down.

What I haven’t been able to figure out is why liberals come to see the world this way.

I was raised by crackpots. My father was a political crackpot–a John Bircher conspiracy theory Christian fundamentalist. My mother was a medical crackpot–not just homeopathy and laetrile and anti-flouride and the medical establishment is out to drug us to death, but really crazy stuff like color therapy (wrap mylar film of various colors around bottles of water, leave them out in the sun for a day and the water would be transformed into medicine).

It’s too easy to say that liberals just have the crackpot gene. But the liberal conviction of the fundamental evil of every free market outcome is pretty crack-potty.

My daughter (yes, I am skipping around a lot in this post–I’m thinking by typing) was raised without religion. I was indoctrinated in Christian Reconstructionism, but had made a break for it by the time she was verbal. When she was 7 or 8, a couple of her little Christian friends, egged on without doubt by their parents, made my little heathen a pet project and started taking her to church. This lasted a few months before they gave up. Near the end, she came home and said something like, “Dad, they pretend they’re drinking the blood of Jesus. WTF?” She was shocked and revolted. Like only an 8 year old girl can be revolted by something unexpected and gross.

I started out immersed in Christian metaphorical ritual cannibalism. Seemed perfectly normal, perfectly healthy, to me. Even after I decided it was BS, I didn’t fully grok how fucked up and weird it was till I saw it through an innocent 8 year old’s eyes.

So here’s my theory the first, and it is the first theory that is mine, and it is the theory I am saying right now–

Liberalism is as crack-potty as the Eucharist. Liberal tropes have become so embedded in our culture that we don’t notice now weird they are. Lots of people who aren’t crackpots at heart just breathe this stupidity in.

Liberalism spreads too because it’s useful. It’s an excuse. Not just as an excuse for failure, but an excuse for hating. “The Man” is keeping you down. Really? In America? You can’t overcome Richard Nixon or George Bush or Monsanto? If “The Man” were Robert Mugabe or Vladimir Putin, I could sympathize with your plight. Liberals hate like teens hate their parents. Liberalism is Will Smith singing “Parents Just Don’t Understand” writ large. Liberal hate is even more petty and laughable than liberal life excuses.

Case in point: the Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman case. Barack Obama behaved like a douchebag. Obama is to politics what Michael Jackson was to plastic surgery. He can’t be taught. You’d think after the Beer Summit debacle Barack would shut his stupid mouth about law enforcement issues before the facts are known. You’d be wrong. I have yet to hear liberals walking back the Trayvon Jesus Christ Who Died For Our Sins narrative. Like the sulky teens they are, liberals don’t apologize.

And they live in a dark world where their privilege and pampering is really just manipulation by people who do stuff they can’t understand. Like a Fincher movie.

I do feel sorry for liberals. Like other crackpots, they live 24 x 7 with a sense of impending doom.



High Tech Lynch Mob

March 25, 2012

George Zimmerman is a Hispanic guy who shot a black kid named Trayvon Martin.

Zimmerman, a neighborhood watch guy, didn’t like the cut of Martin’s jib when he saw him on the street one night, and ended up shooting Martin. Zimmerman called the cops before he shot Martin. They told Zimmerman to back off, but he didn’t.

Zimmerman claims Martin attacked him. Even if that’s true, it’s not all that good for Zimmerman. By Zimmerman’s own account, he pursued and confronted Martin, and there’s audio of their confrontation. Who knows what Martin thought? He was on foot being followed by a stranger in a car. Maybe he got mouthy. Maybe he provoked a fight because he was annoyed or scared.

There is no way Zimmerman was justified in what he did. It’s a good thing that national attention is focused on this case. Spike Lee has publicly posted Zimmerman’s home address on twitter. Others are calling for Zimmerman to be killed. Black activists and opinion makers are drumming up a lynch mob. You’d think at least Al Sharpton would recuse himself, since he has in the past incited mob violence that got people killed. But no, Al is chasing ambulances as usual.

The police chief has put himself on leave. The Justice Department has taken up the case. Martin’s parents have been on every morning talk show.

It’s pretty obvious that Zimmerman is in deep shit now. There is not a single person of any ethnicity in America saying that this shouldn’t be investigated. Zimmerman is going to go to jail. But the lynch mob mentality keeps amping up.

Black people, you should be ashamed of the douchebags you let speak for you. I mean Spike Lee and Al Sharpton and pretty much every so-called black leader except Bill Cosby. This is no longer about righting an injustice. It’s about taking advantage of an injustice to advance a stupid grievance agenda.

UPDATE: Turns out Trayvon Martin was a little shit, not the clean-cut poster-child his parents are trying to paint him to be. Doesn’t mean that Zimmerman was justified in shooting him, but it looks like Zimmerman’s defense team is going to claim Trayvon got shot while struggling for the gun.

All you Neighborhood Watch guys–get more training and get more common sense while you’re at it. Zimmerman had no business getting out of his car. Had he just stayed in his car, none of this would have happened. If you’re going to carry a gun or if you’re going to deliberately put yourself in harms way by looking for bad guys, I recommend reading Rory Miller’s Facing Violence. Miller talks about the “monkey dance” which the Martin/Zimmerman confrontation obviously was.

Zimmerman’s statement on the 911 tape about him being sick and tired of these goons getting away with this–that’s monkey dance talk. And, yes, what Zimmerman said was “goons” not “coons.” And no, I haven’t heard the tape. And fuck you mainstream media for bleeping the tape and reporting that it may have been a racial epithet. Get. Fucking. Serious.

Which brings me to more unnecessary censorship by the media.

Trayvon was suspended from school at the time he died for getting busted with weed. No big deal, in my libertarian mind. Except that Trayvon had a Twitter acount which proves beyond all doubt that Trayvon was a nasty little shit. I’ll bet his parents didn’t know about the NO_LIMIT_NIGGA nom de douchebag under which Trayvon was tweeting. I feel bad for them finding out like this.

The media isn’t going to report in detail his tweets because the FCC would go apeshit if they did. The Daily Caller has posted his last few months tweets in toto without much comment. I’ll give you the good parts version.

My take:

  • Trayvon wasn’t a gangsta, just a little brat with a chip on his shoulder.
  • He was a pothead and skipped school a lot.
  • He displayed a rap-fueled misogyny that is pretty breathtaking. Forget the other issues raised by this case, this is a clear indictment of the moral rot created by the whiny male rage that is 80% of rap music.

Here are some Trayvon verbatim tweets as NO_LIMIT_NIGGA:

RT @SmokedOutDREAD: Still in Bed, Chilling (heart symbol)

Homeroom= home in my on dam room

RT @x_highlyfavored: – fuck a bitch. any bitch. who you want? take yo pick but you gone have to take yo time.

Lol so daisha think she a bos caus she walkd in class late 2day…… i do dat everyday

RT 2ReesyyLaTootieB: Hahaha Hoe u got USED fa yo loose ass pussy.! Tighten up.! #Literally

RT @fukunurhoexxx: #youthetype of bitch that give up your pussy for free and think its cool #pussyaintfree #fb

Sum stuff u jus gotta tak 2 da grav w/u

2 glock 40’s…. bitch u got 80 problems

RT @myssVonne: #SexualPickUpLines My you have a long tongue.. What do you use it for?

RT @MisunderstoodC_: Get high to balance out the lows

#Nothingfeelsbetterthan SUM FIE HEAD!

RT @The SoleManSB: We in need of some trees… Wea tha weed man.

RT @TheyHATEShAHeED: I hate when i like somebody that dont like me. #Smh

RT @Insanely Dopeex3: Not giving a fuck just makes life less complicated.

Im on top of da world,,2 sec. later im on top of ya girl,, lol rockn ha world

RT@    xMaxDee: I got game for you young hoes, don’t grow to be a dumm hoe.

RT @Bombshelll_: “@La_ VidaBella: I’ll beat the pu**sy up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up…[I’m tired of typing up].

RT @MisunderstoodC_: Me? Putting up w. peoples bullshit for so long ? Not a likely situation.

“@___xMaxDee: I’m a hand full && I know it.”

RT @ TEAMJAYSTARZ__:R E T W E E T if your biggest fear is losing your MOM.

RT @iTeachSEXOLOGY: dick slipping out when you got her in doggy? Either u trying to long stroke wit a short dick or she need to arch tha …

RT @Crystal_TeeXOXO:. . . pay these hoes > NO MIND …. these niggas too .

RT @Mitchell_Garcia: I’ll slap a girl if she said suck my toes wtf, she must be giving some great dome for some shit like that u u u

RT @killah__b: my teacher told me that I was a piece of shit. seen her the other day, driving a piece of shit.

RT @Justme_Lala: #ThickDickThursday #ThickDickThursday #ThickDickThursday #thatisall.

Broke niggaz mak me sick * throw up

RT @scdreAD: Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, If that Nigga Busy On Valentines Day, Then You Need To Realize The Sideline Is YOU.!!

Ok, I’m done–that’s about half way through. The rest is just more of the same.

Trayvon didn’t have a lot original to say. But all those re-tweets tell you what he thought.

Zimmerman, in the police reports, is listed with a broken nose and blood on the back of his head. Zimmerman’s friends say Trayvon sucker-punched Zimmerman in the face and when Zimmerman was down Martin was pounding Zimmerman’s head against the sidewalk. We’ll never know if Trayvon jumped Zimmerman because he felt threatened or because he felt offended. Or if Trayvon really was trying to kill Zimmerman by banging his head on the concrete. If Trayvon was trying to kill Zimmerman, he wasn’t very effective.

In any case Zimmerman was the adult in the situation. As facts come out, I have more sympathy for Zimmerman than I did originally. He still exercised terrible, stupid judgment. Given the facts as they appear now–that Zimmerman called the cops, that he got out of his car (before or after he called the cops, I don’t know but it was a stupid move), that he annoyed a testosterone-driven teenager with a racial chip on his shoulder, that Zimmerman verbalized the chip on his shoulder to the 911 operators–if I were on the jury, I’d give Zimmerman some jail time, as an object lesson. Assuming the gun went off while they were struggling, this looks like involuntary manslaughter. Ironically, if Zimmerman deliberately shot Martin to keep from having his head bashed into the sidewalk, I’d be more likely to call it self-defense. Bottom line: everybody, let’s try harder to stay out of stupid “monkey dance” situations.


























I HATE Benetton

February 18, 2012

Benetton is the perfect exemplar of the decadent, self-loathing, euro-weenie, raised pinkie, Obama-funding, self-righteous, passive-aggressive Leftie-American-Douchebag-Liberal worldview.

This is the latest in Benetton’s “unhate” campaign. It arrives minutes after they apologized for portraying the Pope frenching a Muslim imam.

As readers of this blog know, I’m no fan of Jesus, and I feel kinda sentimental about Satan.

But I LOATHE the multi-culti, touchy-feely faggy Left. They seethe with subterranean hatred. For their rich daddies or their touchy-feely creepy mommies or because of their earned inferiority complexes and their dependence on entitlements and privileges they don’t understand much less would ever be willing to admit they get.

This Benetton ad is a HATE letter to Christians. If you don’t get that, you’re just another passive-aggressive asshat conformist piece of self-righteous American Liberal shit.

I am lucky enough to work in an open office, where collaboration is the raisin debt, but the actual result is everyone wearing noise-cancelling headphones so they can think straight occasionally. Friday, near end of the day, the subject turned to religion. There are 8 people in my little Den of Pandemonium. 6 were still at work when somebody said something along the lines of, Why the fuck would anyone still go to church for Christ’s sake?

As it turns out 2 people were church goers. They responded with grace (no pun intended) and dignity. The Jewish girl, siding with the majority, dissed her Bat Mitzvah as a huge pain in the ass what with all that Torah-memorizing and cantoring. She’s a nice girl. We applaud girl-courage so much because it is so rare. As the only serious atheist in the group, and I was still working, I chimed in occasionally to clarify concepts like “Original Sin” which 2 of the 6 had never even heard of.

To summarize, 3 of the 6 people there were, how shall I say this…unchurched? dechurched? If dechurched, I guess it’s 4 of 6 including me. I was the only one on the church-sucks side who had a clue about church. The rest were less educated about Protestants and Catholics than I am about the Oneida cult. As in, I know more about why Oneida flatware is sexy than they do about Jesus.

The Seattle liberals got rocked back on their heels thinking this was a Safe Zone to casually ridicule religious people. Oops. Now they know: Two of Them are less than 10 feet away from Enlightened Me every day. It would be great if next Monday were interesting, with some kind of walk of Liberal shame, but that won’t happen. Seattle liberals are nothing if not malleable pussies who don’t know how to apologize.

I didn’t help the religious people. They were doing fine on their own.

Thought experiment time:

Knowing this will help fuel assholes who will try to get this blog censored for racism, I’m going to make this analogy and ask these questions because race is the lens through which stupid liberals view everything these days, so it’s the best analogy to use to slap them across their sleepy stupid heads to try to wake them up:

Which of these two questions is more bigoted:

  1. Why the fuck would anyone still go to church for Christ’s sake?
  2. Why the fuck would anyone hire a nigger for Christ’s sake?

In case you’re not good at taking tests: They’re equally bigoted. Why aren’t they equally offensive? That’s not another test questions, except it’s a litmus test. If you don’t get that both those questions are equally offensive, you’re a bigoted asshole.

One of the guys who had left work already, who works in my 8-pack Of Noisy Hell, is black. I wonder how he would have responded if Question #2 had been asked in his presence. Do you think he would have gone into “I’m going to be reasonable, meek and mild and try to find common ground” mode like the outed Christians did?

Christians are the new gays. You can’t be sure if someone’s a closet Christian or gay at first glance. They sneak up on you and they pretend to be normal. Then suddenly they’re going to church or singing show tunes…gross!

Actually, Christians are the new black!