Ted is dead

August 30, 2009

It’s gauche to speak ill of the dead. It should be gauche to use the dead for political gain too.

Color me gauche.

The facts around the death of Mary Jo Kopechne will always remain as murky as the water she drowned in. That’s what happens when the feckless privileged progeny of the powerful screw up hard. But there’s no way for anyone to say that Teddy acquitted himself admirably in the incident.

You also can’t deny that Teddy got kicked out of Harvard for cheating. Today on the web, there’s a viral email saying he got kicked out twice. I doubt that.

At no point in his life did Ted Kennedy give any account of either of those scandals that indicated he’d learned anything in life except how to push the Daddy! Save me! button. Correct me if I’m wrong. And send me a picture of you riding your unicorn.

He’s the “Lion of the Senate.” Today, right-wing douchebags like Orrin Hatch and media douchebags like Geraldo Rivera and Presidential douchebags like Barack Obama who were glamored by Teddy knelt and kissed his dead butt.

He was good at being a politician and he was a cheater and a drunk and a lousy driver. That’s the best anyone should say of Teddy Kennedy.

Ted is Dead.

UPDATE March 2019:  Here’s one good thing I can say about Ted Kennedy: his successful immigration bill in the 1960’s, intended to eventually replace the American electorate with a poor, docile and statist influx of immigrants caused the backlash that elected Donald Trump.  The Ghost of Kennedy may still have the last laugh, looking down at us American serfs from his Hyannisport mansions cleaned and tended to by his illegal immigrant slaves. We’ll see.