In Defense of Al Gore

That psycho bitch in Portland who got paid $500 to rub Al Gore and then went Eww! Eek! a mouse! when Gore showed his beady little trouser-snake eye…

She failed lie detector tests.

She’s from Portland, and so we know 80% statistically she’s a psycho.

She says she thought she was getting paid $500 for an uncomplicated massage. Most high end salons charge less than half of that.  Of course, the asinine news media, adept at missing details and contradictions, didn’t blink at $500 for a massage by someone working on their own, not in a salon, not even in a “salon.”

Gore got ripped off in Portland. He paid $500 to get his Mt. St. Helens blown, to get his Old Faithful erupted, and instead she fizzled his rocket. What’s a crazed sex poodle to do?

So, Al obviously goes around the country getting not-Tipper chicks to get him off. Didn’t work out so well in Portland, the land of the other white meat. We all know that Al is regularly having orgasms in the presence of women whose names he knows not. Now Tipper knows. So they’re getting divorced.

The only thing that could make this better for me is to see Tipper smooching on Dee Snider.

Anyhow, Al Gore and John Edwards and Bill Clinton are all entitled to cheat on their horrible starter wives that they’ve been stuck with only because they chose careers in politics. We should respect their sacrifices. Tipper, Liz and Hil–what a harpy triad they are. No wonder these guys cheat with succubi.

$3 million, $5 million, let’s not quibble

Bill Clinton, scolder-in-chief about how we’re not doing enough to help Haiti, is going to spend millions on his daughter’s wedding, including tens of thousands of dollars on posh port-a-potties. How about give your little brat a ridiculously posh wedding at 3% of that cost and spend the rest on Haiti? For this wedding alone, if for nothing else, if you don’t hate Bill Clinton, you’re a moron.

In other news, Charlie Rangel, scolder-in-chief about how the rest of us need to pay more taxes has been dodging and evading taxes for decades.

The Democrat Party isn’t just the party of the unworthy rich. It’s the party of an arrogant upper-class that thinks we’re just that dumb. And, from this week’s reactions to Rangel and Clinton, they’re probably right.

Every American who gets a squishy feeling about Bill Clinton and Chelsea’s wedding and who feels sorry for Rangel–you’re a Harry Seaward.