The Republican Party is the Enemy

The fact that Mitt Romney is even taken seriously proves it.

When Boehner caves on the debt ceiling, I will take that as a starting gun. I will do everything I can to destroy the Republican Party. Shit not one do I give about whether Obama gets re-elected. I’m worried about unhobbling us from the corrupt, vile Republicans who offer us false hope that they will do something serious to put the brakes on.

It’s not the Democrats we have to worry about. They’re just useless idiots. It’s the unprincipled or co-opted douchebags like Romney and Huntsman and Pawlenty and Gingrich we must jettison.

Seriously, people, think about this–the meme that Obama for 4 more years is the worst thing that could happen to us is Republican establishment BS. Status quo for 4 more years is the worst thing. At least Obama is trying to derail the system instead of smoothly speeding toward the cliff. I’d rather crash than regretfully sail into the abyss. The Republican Party has ignored and thwarted us since last November.

tick tock, you bawling bitch Boehner.

 

UPDATE 2016: I got fully on-board with the Romney candidacy and got nothing as usual. Now, I’m fully on-board with Trump.

The Piano Sucks and Propaganda Matters

I just saw the last 20 minutes of this horrible movie. The only good thing about it is that it led eventually to Anna Paquin getting naked all the time to get vampire-banged in True Blood. Anna Paquin naked is one of my favorite things.

I’ve never watched The Piano before. It’s on that list of movies that people say, really, you’ve never seen that? It’s amazing!

Like all those books my wife reads, like The Kite Runner. And other books that have titles that sound uninteresting to repulsive.

Yesterday, she was watching Kite Runner on Netflix when I walked in, and today it’s The Piano.

So I have a double dose of BS to rant about.

Both movies are pure propaganda. No wonder women can’t think straight from filling their heads with this crap.

To be fair, I saw the last 30 minutes of both movies. To be fair, that’s enough.

In The Kite Runner, the hero triumphs by telling the Afghani tribal chieftan to go fuck himself. Yeah, right. And the stoning scene was totally not as bad as stoning really is. When I pointed that out, my wife went, Yeah, I know. I have actual stoning videos. She doesn’t want to see them.

In The Piano, the mute chick is the feminist archetype. Silenced. Unheard. Odd how you can’t make a real feminist just SHUT THE FUCK UP AND NOT RUIN THE PARTY,  but they think their voices aren’t being heard.

The mute chick in The Piano is rescued repeatedly by men and men are the enemy. Her ultimate rescuer is conspicuously absent from the final scene in the film, though the metal finger he bought her isn’t. (Spoiler alert The Piano plot: chick loves playing the piano; bad man chops off her finger for being hot for good man; chick makes ridiculously dramatic suicide attempt giving shit not one about leaving her daugher orphaned; chick is rescued from said suicide attempt by anonymous men and good man; chick lugubriously plays piano again with metal finger as credits roll.)

Propaganda matters.

Microsoft has new ads trying to counter Apple. In the first ad, a British woman is an emasculating bitch. In the second ad, an American woman is an emasculating bitch. The Brit bitch ends the ad saying, “I’m going to kill him” while he laughs nervously. The American bitch ends the ad with “We got what I wanted, not what he wanted” while he laughs nervously.

This isn’t just Microsoft.  Most ads that feature couples feature a large and in charge female behaving contemptuously toward an incompetent, cringing husband. Why is this trope ubiquitous?

Because people think The Piano is a good movie and it’s really just propaganda. It’s just a boring, 2-hour ad against men. It’s no deeper than one of those Microsoft ads.

Us and Them

It’s not just a Pink Floyd song anymore.

The good thing is that the government that Them have put their faith in is close to collapse. The bad thing is how Them will riot when they realize how they were lied to.

Us will shoot you if you don’t deal with it like adults.

 

My Bad Attitude Gets Even Worse

I’m not quite sure why, but I’m starting to treat the political as the personal. Meaning, I’m kind of personally hating everyone who’s getting a government check or using the gubmint to get over on the rest of us. I hate that educational establishment beast who tried to hoist Chris Christie for sending his kids to parochial schools. I hate the luxury limousine business owner in Nashville who bragged about being allowed to draft the law that would require his competitors to charge at least $45 when they were charging $25, and which would require them to wait at least 15 minutes at each customer before departing, so they would have a hard time taking people to the airport. I hate teachers and other public employees who cry poverty and bitch about their salaries hoping we won’t notice that they’ve backloaded their pay with early retirement, full ride lifelong medical care and pensions that pay them not to work longer than they did work.

I’m having a hard time believing that any of these people don’t know exactly what they’re doing. Yes, I do want teachers to starve if they won’t work at Piggly Wiggly when they’re in their 60’s. Yes, I do hope there’s no compromise on Medicare and that all those voters who refused to compromise on their benefits die without any care at all.

The system is going to collapse. Because it’s one greedy asshole, one vote. The best I’m hoping for is to dance on the rubble.

Music for Stupid People to Fuck To

I just saw Britney Spears on Jimmy Kimmel. She sang a song (I use the word song loosely) about “you be the bass.” During the song, the bass got bigger and bigger. She air-humped a lot.

The song sucked. It was the techno auto-tuned usual that makes us think that Lady Gaga is actually good.

Even Suzanne Somers doing that Thighmaster thing was sexier than this cold mess.

Spears makes more money in a week than I make in a year. Probably she makes more in a day.

I could do her job, thanks to Autotune and Photoshop.

I like thinking that I could replace Britney Spears and nobody could tell the difference. No, really, I could, but I’m too tired to do it. If you do it, post it on YouTube, ok?

 

 

 

 

All apologies

Janeane Garofolo.

Joy Behar.

Baba Wawa.

What do they have in common besides being has-been harpies?

They’re defending Tony Weiner to the death. Why?

Even Nancy Pelosi, the queen of the flying monkey harpies, has abandoned Weiner. Because she has wrinkled botoxed skin in the game. She knows that if they don’t make Weiner sleep with the fishes soon, it will cost them elections.

But the three Bitches of Endor don’t have any accountability. They are the real faces of establishment feminism. Their message is that powerful men can rape, pillage, soil blue dresses or cyber-grope whoever they want +/- the 18 year old boundary as long as they protect our prerogatives. They are privileged feminist beasts.

The Weiner case is important because it’s a litmus test.

Garofolo, Behar and Walters are all eating shit sandwiches that taste of Weiner–that’s how much they care about political advantage and how little they care about powerful men preying on young girls.

Compare the venom of these three media whores toward Sarah Palin to their compassion for Tony Weiner. On purely feminist grounds, how do you explain them putting down that uppity bitch Palin while defending that pathetic wannabe fucker of young girls Weiner?

I’ll take a page out of their book to explain them. They’re not real women. Behar, Walters and Garaffolo are each and every one, a hater. Of real women. They are weird ideologues who put their weird ideas uber alles. Feminazi isn’t too far away from describing them. They side with powerful men who they think can advance them, regardless of what those men do to other women.

 

 

Weiner Whiner

So, Tony the Wiener finally fessed up to liking hot young girls who look a lot like his wife, only way hotter. The legacy media was shocked, shocked I tell you!

How stupid do you have to be from his first press conference to not know he was lying? Well, you could be Rachel Maddow.

Rachel Maddow catches a lot of crap from the right wing for being a lesbian and for, when she talks, having a mouth that looks like an anus in a porn movie that has just had a penis removed from it. But I’ve always kind of liked her, and not just for that accidental resemblance. (See, I am trying to behave better here, or at least go more in a Chris Hitchens direction scatologically. Notice the complexity and irony of this paragraph. I’m pretty proud of it.)

Anyhow, whatever the reason, I’ve always liked Rachel Maddow. I’ve felt a little bad for her when SNL has slaughtered her. But I have to say, her impassioned defense of Pepe Le Wiener is not her finest moment. Maybe it’s just because she’s a lesbian that she didn’t get it, that she didn’t realize Weiner was lying on the floor curled up in front of his computer after accidentally sending that tweet to everyone and going “Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Pull it together, Tiger! Yeah, you’re still the tiger! Yeah…Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, shit!”

Let’s give Pepe Le Wiener his due. He recovered in 4 minutes and started posting his cover story. Not a bad refractory period. He knew he had to do immediate damage control, and he did as good a job as anyone could have done. It might have worked in an age before every IP address was logged by every ISP and every shoplifter has a security cam watching them. Maybe the legacy media air cover and news of a really really really really big massacre in Syria by Hilary Clinton’s optometrist pal might let him skulk off to face the private wrath of his wife.

(BTW, there’s been a lot made of the “conspicuous” absence of Weiner’s wife from Tony the Wiener’s 30-minute press corps flagellation. That was weird, as in you know what else starts with Wei. It was humiliating. Prolonged unnecessary humiliation.

(I don’t know, but I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if Tony got some cheap thrills off the press corps during that confession time, and those thrills got amplified when he got home. He’d have probably liked it even more if he’d had no podium to hide behind and everyone could see he was stiff as a pencil. Mistress, may I confess? Not saying his wife is a freak, just saying…well, yeah, she’s totally a freak.)

Anyhow, can we all agree that any career you choose primarily to indulge your sexual kinks, the rest of us don’t need to feel sorry for you when you screw it up. You’re kind of a douche when you ignore love, debase work and seek power only because you’ve rejected everything real and now you are seeking power so you can spend your life on cheap thrills that you couldn’t get without power. Let’s call this the Caligula Syndrome. No, let’s call it the Caligula-wannabe Syndrome.

On to the geometric or trigonometric problem. I can’t remember which mathematical discipline is appropriate. Because the only math I can do in my head these days is making fun of the chick at Taco Bell who can’t figure out that I gave her $11.01 on a $6.01 bill because I wanted $5 back with no pennies. Pay attention if you’re reading this in high school, because you could improve your ACT/SAT score and not have to work at Taco Bell and wait for the light bulbs to come on in the cash register machine instead of your head.

Math problem: Tony the Wiener is a skinny little bitch. Everyone in the MSM is saying that his dingy dingaling is obviously huge. I’m skeptical. I think he probably has 23-inch hips. Just eyeballing it, I’m thinking 5.3 or 5.32 inches. I could be wrong. Measure once, cut twice.

Anyhow, all you high-schoolers, get out your slide rules, by jiminy, and triangulate and figure this out. How big is Weiner’s dick, in what he thinks of as a portfolio shot?

Next up: Weiner resigns! Shocker!

Pranked!

Just saw Congresscritter Wiener Weiner getting grilled all day long.

At least he’s smart enough to refuse to answer whether that’s him in his dingy drawers. If he admits it, the next question is, why did you take that picture? And if he says he didn’t, then who did? the miniature troll sitting on his cell phone while he had it pointed at his dick?

Now he says he wasn’t Hacked! He was Pranked!

What he was Punked!  Maybe Ashton Kutcher could step up and say so, even if it’s not true. (My wife suggested that. She’s occasionally reading this blog over my shoulder these days, probably trying to head off additional subpoenas.)

UPDATE: The New York Post has posted pics of several barely legal chicks that Weiner was “following.” What’s the diff between following and stalking again? I saw a picture of the chick in Washington that Weiner wiener-tweeted. Now, at least, we know Weiner’s type and it’s a pretty good type. Long-haired brunettes who look kind of Asian. Me, I’m partial to Italian brunettes, but get what you’re sendin’ out, Ant-man.

A lot has been said about the fact that Weiner was following 200 tweeters. But most of them were things like the Washington Post and Nancy Pelosi. When you filter out all the politics and left-wing BS, there’s a high percentage of girls who’d fit right into a “me love you long time!” fantasy. At least Weiner has better sexual taste than Bill Clinton, who presided over Weiner’s wedding 3 months ago.

Unless this story gets an order of magnitude more delicious, here’s my last shot: Weiner is obviously a pathological liarwho believes no more in the downtrodden whose causes he espouses than in what he’s saying today. In fact, he threw the downtrodden under the bus today, along with Clarence Thomas, trying to get clear.

The fact is that Weiner fucked up. Well, he tried to fuck up, in the same sense as “marrying up” by mashing on hot chicks he didn’t know who were way above his pay grade. I’ll give him props for taste, if not sense, but let’s remember, he’s been married 3 months. I’d say 3 FUCKING months, but obviously not. He’ll be divorced ASAP since this story isn’t going away. So he’s of no more use to the Clinton apparatchick with whom he so recently soiled the beleaguered institution of marriage. Perhaps only gays should be allowed to get married for a while.

No, I don’t feel sorry for his wife. There’s something deeply wrong with her or she wouldn’t be married to him.

UPDATE 2016: Weiner and Huma remain legally joined in holy matrimony. Obviously, Huma got advice from Hillary about how to make this work.

I’m not supposed to say cunt anymore on this blog, but seriously no other word works.

Anthony Weiner is a Cunt.

Whose limited brain power deserted him in the face of the remembered humiliation of accidentally sending the picture at the top of this post to EVERYONE instead of just to one of the hot college girls that he thought he was close to closing the deal with. And the hot chick is now pissed off since she’s found out he was trying to reel in half a dozen other girls who looked just like her. At first she deleted her accounts, tried to help a Wiener out, but then he made the mistake of trying to throw her under the bus too.  And she’s fighting back.  Now whose wiener is under the bus?

So why does any of this matter?

Because Weiner is angling for big-time political power and the only reason he seeks power is so he can use it to put his penis in girls who look like Lucy Liu. He doesn’t care about the poor. Or Obamacare. Or even Clarence Thomas. He’s consumed with trying to bang girls who wouldn’t talk to him two decades ago.

Weiner is exactly the kind of pathological bacterium that we need to Lysol if this country is to have any hope.

Hey, Obama administration, in case you missed it, that sentence about should count as another death threat. If you find Weiner duct-taped in a congressional elevator with a can of Lysol stuck up his butt still with that expression of ultimate pleasure on his face, I’m confessing in advance. I’ll be the fat 51 year old disguised as a svelte 21 year old hopping a plane to Panama.

Non-metaphorically, I’m bringing Purelle and Lysol next time any Obamanistas come to town. I’m not even showing up at your rally to harass you. Just spraying Lysol and squirting Purelle in a cleansing ceremony outside my house because you brought your putrid entourage within 50 miles of my house. Can’t wait for my liberal friends to ask what I’m doing and trying to figure out whether they have to respect my ancestral purification ceremony.

While I know I have violated the letter of my non-scatological pledge in this post, I don’t think I’ve violated the spirit. I think I’ve struck the appropriate balance between the warranted, the avoidable and the necessary. I have deleted multiple filthy adjectives that added more to my amusement than to the discussion. Where possible, I’ve read again and replaced bad words with ones that a 5th grader’s mom wouldn’t cavil at. Occasionally, I’ve tried to avoid sentences that most people wouldn’t finish a preposition with.

UPDATE: Ok, I didn’t delete all the dirty words I actually could have. So I made another pass today and cleaned it up some more. Yep, that’s right, this post is now what I look like minding my P’s and Q’s. See, I really am trying to be a respectable citizen. But it’s hard. I mean, difficult.

Just now, re-reading this, I was struck by the sudden image of me exiting the elevator, leaving behind a bound and ball-gagged Weiner writhing in ecstasy. I turn, in slow motion, as the door has almost closed, pulling a .22 zip gun from my pocket, and fire at the last half-inch of Lysol can still visible, thus producing a Roy Scheider at the end of Jaws effect, but I don’t even get splashed because I timed it so well and the door closed just in time. Roll credits on The Wiener.