Why we’re FUC-KED-MOUS-E

April 26, 2011

Americans are economic illiterates. Not just the people you laugh at on “People of Walmart,” but also Ben Bernanke, Barack Obama, every liberal I know, and everyone who’s getting a check from the government. (Hey, moron, your government check won’t be worth much when the government ain’t worth much. I might as well shout at a raccoon. And I have shouted at raccoons. They just go Robert De Niro–you talkin’ to me?)

A couple of weeks ago, I had a conversation with a really good guy about economics. Well, let’s just say, I started to have one. It became clear PDQ that he had no interest in the subject. Like most people, his understanding of economics is (1) If I were in charge…  or (2) Hell, yeah, if I could get that benefit, I’d sure as hell take it!

Here’s the central insight of economics that these people don’t get: You shouldn’t pee in your own punchbowl. Or you shouldn’t crap in your water supply. Pick your metaphor, for some reason, mine are all scatological.

Right now, rational people are clinging to the idea that only insane people could refuse to recognize that indiscriminate peeing and pooping is poisoning everyone, including the pee-ers and poop-ers.

The truth is, people who live next door to you, who aren’t insane, who have lots of virtues and work hard for a living, who would never pee in anyone’s punchbowl or poop in their water supply, don’t get economic realities. They’re not evil, they’re not even stupid, they just don’t get it and there’s nothing you can do to make them get it. They’re not interested. Economics bores them. They’re like deer bored by approaching headlights.

And they’re the majority. Brace yourselves for landing.


Student Moans

April 25, 2011

Student loan indebtedness has passed total US consumer credit card balances.

They’re mostly one and the same thing. I know lots of people who spent their student loans on pizzas, used cars, drugs, rent and restaurant tabs for girls who were never going to fuck them. Not necessarily in that order.

I feel zero sorry for nearly all people with crippling student loans. Most of you used them frequently for things other than tuition. Way more than half of you used them to avoid having to grow up and get a real job. And, while in school, you studiously avoided learning anything that was useful in a real job. If you got loans to go to med school, and you finished, good on you, and you can afford to pay them back now. If you jacked off in Whatever Studies, or French Whatever or Communications or…well, any major that didn’t have 90% male attendance in the 40x classes, then fuck you. Oops, sorry, I meant, “then I don’t feel sorry for you not one little bit.” I’m going to have to get a swear jar or something. Oh, and in the paragraph above, I meant, “girls who aren’t sincerely interested in them.” See, I’m getting the hang of this civility thing.

Sociologists claim men are falling behind women. Proof positive, a lot more women are going to college than men. Uh, no, that just proves that college has become the domain of the pretentious and unproductive who have inflated self-esteem and a short shelf-life. That’s a long way of saying “American woman, get away from me.”

The bargain of government student loans is this: “We will give you money to avoid reality for another half-decade, and after that you will get a high paying job, trust us, so it doesn’t matter how much you go in debt now, you’ll pay it off out of pocket change later. Sign here, moron.”

All the sob stories you see in newspapers about Ph.D’s working as waiters–don’t sob. They’re idiots who thought that incurring a huge debt and having fun was the same thing as buying a golden ticket for life. Besides, waiters make better money than a Ph.D working in their field would have ever made. They never investigated that when picking a major. They ranked choice of major on how easily they thought they could BS their way through it.

So, too bad about those loans you took out that can’t be discharged in bankruptcy and that will haunt you the rest of your life or until the government collapses. The second is likely to happen first, you lucky bastards.

Movie Review: The Fighter

April 24, 2011

This isn’t a great movie, but it’s one of the best movies I’ve seen in a while.

If you’re a fan of over-the-top boxing movies where every punch activates the subwoofer, you’ll still like this, but you won’t get that. This movie frequently cuts away from critical action in the ring to pan the audience because they obviously couldn’t afford to film all the boxing scenes like a Rocky movie would. Good for them–money was obviously spent on script and extra small takes instead.

Christian Bale and Mark Wahlberg are brothers and boxers. Bale got close enough to the bigtime to have a bout with Sugar Ray Leonard, but then faded. He now trains younger brother Wahlberg to regain family glory. I know, sounds boring, but it’s not. I’d have to reveal spoilers to make it less boring.

Mark Wahlberg is in full-on movie star mode throughout, but in a good way. Christian Bale is in full-on character actor mode, and in an even better way. Not a hint of brooding Batman in his performance. Who knew? Christian Bale can act.

Amy Adams plays the love interest, also in character actor mode. There’s a scene where she sashays across a bedroom in sheer black lacy bra and panties and then crawls across the bed where…well, I’m just saying, she didn’t make the movie more boring.

This is a movie about family and class. It’s reminiscent of Million Dollar Baby, except this movie is nuanced, well-written, avoids melodrama and cheap villainization, and doesn’t have anybody die for no good reason but as pathos. C’mon people, let’s admit it–Million Dollar Baby was a horrible stupid movie. It’s only raison d’etre was to let ACTORS! chew scenery. That’s why it got the Academy Award. Like The Departed, another overrated, self-congratulatory piece of …esss…that Hollywood hugged to its withered botoxed bosom.

(This trying not to swear thing is really hard for me. I hope I have your sympathy as I go through this difficult adjustment.)

If I have one criticism of this movie…actually, starting this sentence, I realized, I don’t have a criticism. It’s a very good piece of work. I can’t think of a single decision the makers made that I can second-guess.

I’ll end by saying one of the things that drew me into this movie was it started by showing clearly and unflinchingly how much poor people in America suck. They’re not unfortunate, they’re vile, often evil. At bottom, the theme of this movie is about being born into that suck-sand and what it takes to rise out of it. And what it takes to try to pull other people out who aren’t trying all that hard to hold on to the rope. And how those people will try to topple you off the bank every time you throw them a rope. And how not to get toppled.

On second thought, this just might be a great movie. Classy, understated, subtlely written, with recurring broad humor and a tangle of relationships and character arcs.

I think I’ll be watching it again tomorrow.

Breitbart Bites Back

April 21, 2011

Long ago in these subpoena’ed pages, I took Andrew Breitbart to task for the Shirley Sherrod debacle. Like everyone else, I bought into the notion that Breitbart either knowingly or irresponsibly distorted the edited video. I demanded that Breitbart set the record straight, and since then my regard for him has been tarnished.

Till today I never read Breitbart’s original post. I took it for granted that O’Reilley and Beck were describing the situation correctly–given their biases. And that if Breitbart thought they weren’t, he’d have been on their shows.

On MSNBC today, interviewed by that idiot Martin Bashir, I finally heard Breitbart explain himself.

I owe him an apology.

I wish he’d gone at this when it happened as clearly and convincingly as he did today. But blaming him for that is exactly the same as blaming a hot chick for getting raped. The media machine raped him.

Here’s the relevant part of what Breitbart posted when he first posted two excerpts from the Sherrod speech:

We are in possession of a video from in which Shirley Sherrod, USDA Georgia Director of Rural Development, speaks at the NAACP Freedom Fund dinner in Georgia. In her meandering speech to what appears to be an all-black audience, this federally appointed executive bureaucrat lays out in stark detail, that her federal duties are managed through the prism of race and class distinctions.
In the first video, Sherrod describes how she racially discriminates against a white farmer. She describes how she is torn over how much she will choose to help him. And, she admits that she doesn’t do everything she can for him, because he is white. Eventually, her basic humanity informs that this white man is poor and needs help. But she decides that he should get help from “one of his own kind”. She refers him to a white lawyer.
Sherrod’s racist tale is received by the NAACP audience with nodding approval and murmurs of recognition and agreement. Hardly the behavior of the group now holding itself up as the supreme judge of another groups’ racial tolerance.
The second video affirms the real reason there is tension between the Democratic Party and a growing mass of middle Americans — and it’s not because of race.
The NAACP which has transformed from a civil rights group to a propaganda arm of the Democratic Party and social-justice politics, supports a new America that relies less on individualism, entrepreneurialism and American grit, but instead giddily embraces, the un-American notion of unaccountability and government dependence. Shirley Sherrod, a federal appointee who oversees over a billion dollars of federal funds, nearly begs black men and women into taking government jobs at USDA — because they won’t get fired.

Regardless of whether you think Breitbart could have expressed himself more carefully (hell, evidently, I should express myself more carefully to avoid the scrutiny of Obama’s thugs), it’s obvious that when he posted the video, even if he posted only part of it, that he was acknowledging the context:

In the first video, Sherrod describes how she racially discriminates against a white farmer. She describes how she is torn over how much she will choose to help him. And, she admits that she doesn’t do everything she can for him, because he is white. Eventually, her basic humanity informs that this white man is poor and needs help. But she decides that he should get help from “one of his own kind”. She refers him to a white lawyer.

Now, let’s talk about who the real racist is: Sherrod. I’ve already made this point extensively when I originally posted about this, but if you take the entire video in context, not only does Sherrod come off as a racist, if a somewhat ashamed one, but she’s class warfare monster. Now, add on what we’ve learned about Pigford, in which she’s Lady Macbeth.

I also want to apologize for saying that Sherrod was a decent, honest human being. Obviously, she’s only that compared to the other slimy orc bureaucrats who infest her world and are breaking into ours.

You have no idea how much it pains me to have to type that she’s an Eff Ewe See Kaying See Ewe Next Tuesday, rather than what I would have previously said. But I am trying to mainstream this blog in advance of going to war, all out nuclear war, a veritable holocaust, take no prisoners, genocidical, maniacal, WWE guerilla action agaisnt the federal government. Those were metaphors for how pissed off at you I am, you stupid government fucks. Oops. Said a bad word.

Us vs Them

April 17, 2011

The EFF has given me referrals. I’ve been referred from them to the ACLU. The ACLU, with an SLA of 2 to 4 weeks, got back to me in 8 hours. I’ve forwarded everything to them.

Here’s what I know. I am likely to be indicted. It’s likely to cost me thousands of dollars. The government will lose, but they will harrass me, out me, and perhaps cost me my job. Though I could sue about that.

Fuck it and fuck them. Like Andy Levy, I apologize for nothing.

Game on. You government cunts.

Whew! I thought I was really in trouble….

April 7, 2011

I got email from WordPress today telling me they’d been subpoena’ed about this blog.

Uh oh, I thought.

(Well, Fuck me! is what I thought, but that’s how I say Uh oh.)

There was no information in the message except that someone was trying to track me down in the Matrix. I replied immediately, asking, uh, am I allowed to know anything about who wants me, other than his alias is Agent Smith?

Before this, my last post was in defense of Terry Jones burning Korans. And, as constant readers of this blog know, if Muslim Mullah were one of Baskin Robbins 31 flavors this month, I wouldn’t lick it.

So I was pretty sure, given recent events and posts of mine in response to those events, that this was about “hate speech” and it was going to turn into a giant pain in the ass, at best. Ok, so I know the weapon is “hate speech against Muslims,” but whodunnit and in what room will they try to kill me? My guesses:

  • The US government, some damn courtroom
  • Some assshat liberal/progressive organization, trying to ruin me in meatspace
  • CAIR or another Muslim terrorist front organization, trying to ruin me in meatspace
  • Some Muslim mosque or offended individual, equipped with explosives or a machete
  • Some lawyer employed by any of the above except the gubmint, who would try to hide the identity of the asshole seeking to fuck with me, and then sell me out to all of the above.
  • Colonel Mustard in the Conservatory

I don’t mind admitting I was kinda worried given that the subject is Islam.

As I’ve said before on this blog, the first time I get the sense that talking shit about Islam has even a slight likelihood it will result in someone coming to my house to behead or blow up my family, I’m shutting up. To the credit of Islam (well, probably more to the credit of the fact that nobody reads this blog except a few people who know me and who read it because it allows them to vicariously say Cunt! a lot), no threats have been lodged till now.

Threatening my anonymity is a big threat. I talk because I still have faith in the system.

My bet, about this subpoena, a little earlier today, was that this would be some lawyer who’d refuse to reveal its client, and I’d have to think hard about strategy. I didn’t think it could be the US gubmint because they’re too slow and I only signed up as a Terry Jones cheerleader yesterday. I mean, hell, it took President Toonces 2 weeks to figure out that people were saying “Libya” not “Dubya” and start paying attention.

As it turns out, I was hasty, and had only skimmed the notice from WordPress. This is a bad habit of mine when reading email, caused by the bad habit of other people who send me too much email. WordPress intended to attach the subpoena, but forgot to.I asked them to please attach, and they said, Oops! sorry and sent it right along.

I. Am. So. Relieved.

It’s the US gubmint after me! and it’s not about Islam!

It’s not anyone dangerous, like Muslim terrorists or terrorists fronts like CAIR, it’s Congress. Well, I guess, they’re dangerous, like Frankenstein with his thumb on fire, if Frankenstein had his thumb on fire and up his ass at the same time.

My identity is being subpeona’ed for a grand jury, Capitol Hill style, because of a flurry of posts I made on Dec 2, 2010. Never before or since have I made that many posts in a single day. Maybe I’m being called up in front of the Excess Daily Blog Posting Committee.

And it was a Thursday. I don’t remember, but I hope I was out sick for the day, in case my boss ever finds out about this. Or maybe my wife went out for dinner with her friends and I just went sick on the blogging since YouPorn was offline. Actually, I just looked at the post timestamps, and they were all post-midnight posts, so I must have been both drunk and with the next day off.

I’m not excusing what I posted on the basis of alcohol. I stand behind it all. Well, I haven’t re-read it all, but fuck you assholes on Capitol Hill. I’ve re-read enough to know that this is so 1st amendment protected and you are hysterical ninnies. And cunts. It’s important here that I call you cunts, just to keep my readership interested. And to boost my search position. Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt (drawing a breath) Cunt Congressional Cunt.

Anyhow, I posted on 3 subjects that fateful day:

  • DSM5 collapsing their multiple “being an asshole” diagnoses/insurance codes and the deleterious effect this would have on psychiatrists who liked getting paid $200 an hour for fucking their BPD patients.
  • The TSA’s new rules and how I was thinking of saying “If you touch my skin, I will punch you” over and over again as I went through the line, like I was Rain Man. Actually, I only said I was thinking about saying that, I didn’t think about doing it like a crazy person till now. Also, the bullet point above was only implied in my original post. If there’s one thing I like, it’s embellishing.
  • Multiple posts about Republican(ish) congresscritters who weren’t getting the Tea Party message.

Even I will ignore the DSM5 thing as the reason for the subpoena, even though most congresscritters are still diagnosable, even under DSM5’s relaxed criteria.

Now, maybe all this is about me threatening TSA agents. If it is, I just want to say I’m sorry, and that I’m not going to punch any TSA agents for touching my skin. I haven’t had to fly since the new rules. However, I do have to fly in June, and I’m buying a kilt in May, and I’m wearing it commando on the plane and I will be expressing extreme pleasure whenever a TSA agent touches my junk, and I will be refusing private pat downs (or, as I like to call them, government reach-arounds). I have witnesses, including my mortified wife and multiple other people who will jeer me endlessly if I don’t go True Scotsman on the TSA this June, that I have softened my attitude about the TSA since that unfortunate post. What else might harden when they grope me, I can’t predict. It’s not against the law to take two Viagra before boarding a flight. I just want to be ready for the moment.

UPDATE 2016: I did buy that kilt and I did wear it on multiple flights and I did have multiple encounters with TSA agents where I provoked them, and all the TSA agents were at least professional, several were sympathetic, and only a few were surly, but remained in-bounds.

The way to bet is that I am in trouble with a grand jury for metaphors. I created a category on my blog called Confirmed Kills. This was before Gabby Giffords got shot. In light of that, I’d have probably called the category Confirmed Cunts. <snort>

There are two congresscritters in my Confirmed Kills category: Voinovitch and Bennett. Unfortunately, all I said was watch these two assholes after they’re out of office, because they’ll be snorting money from Confirmed Assholes like it was cocaine.


I referred repeatedly to putting down Congresscritters like rabid dogs. I said “it’s more important to hang traitors on our side than to beat the other side.”  I said “Thad Cochran is a slimy political animal. Let’s put him down.” I also begged for God to kill Lisa Murkowski in a botox accident.

UPDATE 2016: It was the “threat” to Thad Cochran that really got their attention.  He’s not dead yet. More’s the pity. When he dies, I hope it’s long drawn out and with incredible excruciating pain. Cochran is the poster child for why Trump. In a better age, he’d have been run through with a broadsword already.

Since none of these worthless fuckers are dead, and nobody’s caught me yet trying to put them down, from my lips to God’s ears isn’t that great of a strategy, is it?

Nobody’s listening to me. I’m fine with that. I rant, therefore I am.

I am getting a lawyer. But I will probably ignore his advice and try to fuck with the Feds. I would love to testify.

Here’s their stupid subpeenie:

Ok, they’ve managed to keep me from saving the pdf text. so I’m just typing this in. There’s no law against typing yet, since it’s not a fucking happy meal in New York City.

Subpoena for: Automatic

Subpoena # 10218019 / Prepared by: CB

Please provide any records relating to the identity of the person (s)  that made a posting on https://hlet.wordpress.com/ who identified themselves as “Hannibal Lecter’s Evil Twin” on 12/2010 at 3:23 time zone PST.

Here’s the post you’re talking about, you stupid Federal motherfuckers:

Thad Cockroach isn’t up for rejection till 2014. He’s old as hell. If we’re lucky, he’ll die before then from all the pork he’s been consuming.

Citizens Against Government Waste rates him the top porker in the Senate this year. Yep, he beat out all Democrats.

He voted against the earmark ban, shocker.

He’s a slimy political animal. Let’s put him down.

If he’s dead, I’m glad. Don’t know if he is, but hope he is. You fucking idiots. You really think I killed him? If he’s dead, let me know. We’ll cook him up and feed him to the rest of you. Oops, wikipedia says he’s alive. Were I on the Thad Cochran Assassination Committee, you’d think I’d know that.

Seriously, Congress, I’m coming for you.





Me and Mr. Jones

April 6, 2011

Rampaging Muslims in Afghanistan killed 10+ UN workers for being nominally Christian last weekend. Because some minor Christian minister in Florida held a mock trial of the Koran and then burned it.

Feckless American politicians and generals (Lindsay Graham, President Toonces, David Petraeus) smooched Muslim butt big time, making vague threats against the 1st Amendment.

People who don’t suck defended Amendment #1 against the political pussy class, but without exception (as far as I’ve seen) prefacing their comments with some form of “Of course, Pastor Jones is a fucking asshole, but….”

Mr. Jones has been unrepentant, and pretty articulate. Go to YouTube and look at the interviews, and his group sent out this news release:

In regard to the riots that have just taken place in Afghanistan at the UN headquarters, the actions of breaking in, setting on fire, and killing of at least 10 individuals so far is highly unacceptable for the government of the United States.

We, at Stand Up America Now, find this a very tragic and criminal action. The United States government and the United Nations itself, must take immediate action. We must hold these countries and people accountable for what they have done as well as for any excuses they may use to promote their terrorist activities. The time has come to hold Islam accountable.

Our United States government and our President must take a close, realistic look at the radical element Islam. Islam is not a religion of peace. It is time that we call these people to accountability. We demand that our United States government stand up and speak out against these acts. These people must be called to justice.

We demand action from the United Nations. Muslim dominated countries can no longer be allowed to spread their hate against Christians and minorities. They must alter the laws that govern their countries to allow for individual freedoms and rights, such as the right to worship, free speech, and to move freely without fear of being attacked or killed.

The Associate Director of Stand Up America Now, Wayne Sapp, has this week been banned from the UK. This highlights the stranglehold of political correctness that Islam has on the West.

Sounds about right to me.

How do we actually know that Mr. Jones is a fucking asshole?

All most of us know about him  is that he thinks Islam sucks and he’s not afraid to extend his medial digit in its barbaric direction. Let’s be honest–Jones is painted as a nut because we think all Christian ministers with small congregations must be nutjobs. He’s being smeared as a fringe Christian. You don’t have to think about whether he has a point about Muslims if you don’t get that far because he’s some kind of snake-handling tongues-speaking faith-healing cult leader.

Did he know it was likely that people would get killed by Muslim barbarian mobs if he did this? Probably. Let’s assume he did anticipate violence would follow his stand.

When Clint Eastwood makes a similar calculation in Gran Torino, he’s a hero. Buford Pusser too. Standing up to fucking assholes who actually intimidate and murder was, once upon a time, a grand American tradition before Toonces and Pussy Petraeus and Lindsey Graham and their legacy media bitches like Joe Klein started pretending courage by attacking those who commit the deadly sin of insult of an enemy. They mean to muzzle us, not shoot murdering Muslims.

Seriously, David Petraeus can go fuck himself. What a dishonorable piece of Muslim-coopted shit he’s been corrupted into being.

We should have strafed those mobs instead of having our general fulminate against American values like a little dhimmi bitch while UN workers died. We should track down and kill everyone we can find who was anywhere near the UN compound murders.

Instead, we see our so-called leaders, political and military, shadowbox with Mr. Jones as if he’s the reason Muslims randomly riot and murder.

Oh, and can somebody assassinate Karzai, while we’re at it? He’s definitely the more proximate cause of all those deaths than is Mr. Jones. The American news media didn’t cover the Koran burning. Karzai kept fanning the flames.

Holding my breath to hear Toonces, or Petraeus or any other mainstream assholes focus on Karzai.