$3 million, $5 million, let’s not quibble

Bill Clinton, scolder-in-chief about how we’re not doing enough to help Haiti, is going to spend millions on his daughter’s wedding, including tens of thousands of dollars on posh port-a-potties. How about give your little brat a ridiculously posh wedding at 3% of that cost and spend the rest on Haiti? For this wedding alone, if for nothing else, if you don’t hate Bill Clinton, you’re a moron.

In other news, Charlie Rangel, scolder-in-chief about how the rest of us need to pay more taxes has been dodging and evading taxes for decades.

The Democrat Party isn’t just the party of the unworthy rich. It’s the party of an arrogant upper-class that thinks we’re just that dumb. And, from this week’s reactions to Rangel and Clinton, they’re probably right.

Every American who gets a squishy feeling about Bill Clinton and Chelsea’s wedding and who feels sorry for Rangel–you’re a Harry Seaward.

Who do you believe?

The Wikileaks guys who published all the Afghanistan stuff are saying they offered the Obama White House a chance to redact what they were going to publish to make sure that they didn’t blow anyone’s cover or get anyone killed, and the White House ignored them. The Obama White House says they never did.

Who do you believe? and why?

Shirley Sherrod says the White House pushed her to pull over on the side of the freeway and resign immediately. The Obama White House says they never did.

Who do you believe and why?

Mark Williams, exit stage right

Mark Williams is the douchebag talk show host who used to be the ringleader of the Tea Party Express, one of several Tea Party organizations.  His group has nearly half a million members.

AFTER Ben Jealous of the NAACP called out the Tea Party movement on sheltering, tolerating, embracing racists, Mark Williams posted this on his blog. AFTER, not BEFORE. This wasn’t an example available beforehand to Ben Jealous of Tea Party racism. Oh, no, Mark Williams opened his mouth,  spewed out a flaming bag of dogcrap, rang the bell and ran as a RESPONSE to the NAACP:

Dear Mr. Lincoln

We Coloreds have taken a vote and decided that we don’t cotton to that whole emancipation thing. Freedom means having to work for real, think for ourselves, and take consequences along with the rewards. That is just far too much to ask of us Colored People and we demand that it stop!

In fact we held a big meeting and took a vote in Kansas City this week. We voted to condemn a political revival of that old abolitionist spirit called the ‘tea party movement’.

The tea party position to “end the bailouts” for example is just silly. Bailouts are just big money welfare and isn’t that what we want all Coloreds to strive for? What kind of racist would want to end big money welfare? What they need to do is start handing the bail outs directly to us coloreds! Of course, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People is the only responsible party that should be granted the right to disperse the funds.

And the ridiculous idea of “reduce[ing] the size and intrusiveness of government.” What kind of massa would ever not want to control my life? As Coloreds we must have somebody care for us otherwise we would be on our own, have to think for ourselves and make decisions!

The racist tea parties also demand that the government “stop the out of control spending.” Again, they directly target coloreds. That means we Coloreds would have to compete for jobs like everybody else and that is just not right.

Perhaps the most racist point of all in the tea parties is their demand that government “stop raising our taxes.” That is outrageous! How will we coloreds ever get a wide screen TV in every room if non-coloreds get to keep what they earn? Totally racist! The tea party expects coloreds to be productive members of society?

I hate Mark Williams more than I hate any American still alive. More than I hate zombies Pelosi and Reid. More than I hate the totalitarian weasel in San Francisco who just banned pets and pop. More than I hate Michael Bloomberg. Are you getting it? I hate Mark Williams a lot.

Were I enamored of conspiracy theories, I’d be hoping to find video of Mark Williams taking a payoff from someone in the NAACP. But I know guys like Williams and they’re real and Ben Jealous was exactly right so let’s admit it right now:

There are a lot of racists in the Tea Party movement. Racism isn’t the core of the movement, but as a new movement, the Tea Party is more about warm bodies than anything else. The Tea Party welcomes anyone who shows up to an event because it gives them a better chance to get on the news.  They’re not welcoming racists–they’re welcoming anyone who shows up and they aren’t checking ID.

There has been almost no overt racism at Tea Party protests. Seriously, a few signs edge up to the line, fewer cross it, and the worst are probably plants.

Though I hate Mark Williams, I’m glad his neurotic racist compulsions made him lash out at blacks. It gives the Tea Party the mandate to put the racists in their ranks on notice. We need to put out Racism Is Not Welcome signs. Thank you, Ben Jealous.

Because, let’s tell the truth, there are some hardcore racists going to Tea Party protests and they need to be ejected.  They’re not waving racist signs. They’re under cover. There’s  a lot of  “don’t ask, don’t tell” going on in the Tea Party when it comes to racism.

How do you detect these racists? Voluntary hyperthyroidism is the first sign. They’re a little bit bug-eyed and intense. They think the income tax is unconstitutional even though it’s in the Constitution. They think black people in America are a menace.  They don’t much like Jews either. And they creep you out, because you can tell they’re holding back something weird.

In a lot of people, racism is skin deep. You really can turn them around just by giving them a DVD of  “The Blind Side.” Or telling them they’re relics who aren’t welcome anymore at a Tea Party protest if they’re going to be that stupid.

Then you have vile morons like Mark Williams and every single person who still defends him.  Here’s what Williams said when forced to resign from the Tea Party Express:

“We are in a war for the future of this country and the Left and their allies in the news media have decided to use my personal comments and views as a weapon to injure the Tea Party movement and conservative activists. I will simply not allow them to do this.”

Mark Williams is a horrible deep proud racist. 400,000 people in his organization didn’t detect this or didn’t care. I find it hard to believe that Williams’ blog post was the first indication to anyone following him that he was a virulent deep racist. Mark just vomited on the Tea Party movement as a whole, though his followers are mostly 400,000 morons, and I’m sure he at least wink wink nudged nudged in his newsletters and most of his followers ignored the racism because they liked everything else, and a few took comfort in their Nazi hearts.  So to hell with you all 400,000 of you. Like  Germans who ignored the smokestacks. No, I don’t have any of Mark’s newsletters. It’s possible he was completely in the closet until this week and none of you 400,000 Tea Party Express people knew anything about the racism of your Leader. Yeah, right. You knew. I hate you, all 400,000 of you. But you can make it up.

All you TP Express people–Repudiate Williams in no uncertain terms. Declare yourselves not to be racists. Stand up and accept responsibility for embracing this charismatic racist turd.

Let’s get clear in the Tea Party and admit that Ben Jealous was right and we should heed his call to arms. No racist gets a pass. We purge. We probe. We go Leninist on racists.

If you’re a racist, get out of the Tea Party now. If you don’t skulk off voluntarily, we will eject you.  What is the percentage of racists in the Tea Party movement? I’m going to upper bound it at 10% and I think it’s closer to 1%. The Tea Party has gotten nothing worth getting from letting this minority of racist morons stand next to us without looking too closely at them.

The Tea Party should stand up and say Ben Jealous was right and that we’ll turn over Mark Williams and they can do whatever they want to him on Pay Per View. I hope it’s Thunderdome.

In Defense of Shirley Sherrod

Here’s what happens when you don’t post things to your blog timely. Now I have to completely change this post up because the story has completely changed. It doesn’t invalidate anything I had to say before, but now I have to say a lot more.

For context, for future generations who will read this like it’s the Hadith, Shirley Sherrod is a Dept of Agriculture bureaucrat who gave a speech at the NAACP convention this year. (Future generations–if you don’t know what the Dept of Agriculture and the NAACP are, go look it up on Wikipedia. If you are reading this you sure as hell have Wikipedia, right?)

In her speech, Shirley allowed as to how she might have discriminated a little bit against whitey in her youth and she was somewhat sorry about that because she realized that the difference between rich and poor is even more important than the difference between black and white if you’re going to make a career about pretending to help those who won’t be helped.

(Of course, Shirley is right about the poor thing–all welfare bums have more in common with each other than they do with productive people. And there are almost zero multi-decade poor people in America who aren’t slimeballs, sleazebags, deadbeats and welfare bums. Shirley wuvs these asshowes wike Bwistow wuvs Wevi, and with about as much wationality. Yeah, I’m still pissed off at Sarah Palin.)

(So when am I going to get around to defending Shirley? Wait for it…. you’re going to be waiting a little while, but I will do it.)

Shirley Sherrod was a standard issue black racist worthless federal bureaucrat, by all evidence. Until last week, when she did something redemptive: she admitted and regretted her racism. She courageously started that conversation that Dick Holder keeps saying we need to have about racism.

She wasn’t just a racist 24 years ago. She’s still a racist now. Her full NAACP speech is full of banal racism. Everyone’s bitching about how it was wrong to quote just a little bit of it.  It’s not doing her a favor to quote the whole thing. And what she’s had to say since the speech hasn’t covered her IQ in glory.

She’s  always made a really good living playing the oppressed card in the quasi-governmental community organizing sector where Barack Obama also learned to tap dance to entertain the guilty white liberal man.

Sherrod wasn’t a Fed until 2009. Previously, she sued the feds for some kind of racist something, and got mid-6-figures out of it.  I don’t know the details and I don’t care. I just hate people who sue like this. This is why I hated John Edwards from day 1.

Anyhow, she got hired into the Dept of Agriculture bureacracy in 2009, coincidental I’m sure with St. Barack’s ascension. Other racists in the Obama administration cannot be proved to have anything to do with Shirley the pilot fish serendipitously attaching herself to the biggest safest whale of all.

Now, we must stop and talk about what the definition of racism is. A too-large percentage of black people and white liberal people say that unless you’re a member of a privileged class you can’t be a racist.   If you’re a member of an oppressed class, you can hate based on race all you want and that doesn’t count as racism. Go listen to all of Sherrod’s speech and decide whether she still buys that racist crap about black people can’t be racist.

My definition of racism is much simpler: despising people because of their race. By my definition, as a racial group, black people are the most racist people in America. Except perhaps for the Japanese, who keep it under their hats instead of using it for begging and reparation rights.

Ok, now, the main event…

 In defense of Shirley Sherrod:

Watch her whole tape or don’t argue with me.

Shirley stood up in front of a (friendly) crowd and honestly, sincerely, said politically incorrect things to try to move them in her direction. Sure, in some of her speech she pandered to the crowd. Like people on the right don’t? Like Sarah Palin isn’t more pander than human?  (Seriously, I’m so sick of Sarah that I’m thinking I must have an unconscious crush on her.)

Sherrod led with rehearsed shtick slamming Republicans to get crowd armor down for what she really wanted to say.

She wanted to admit mistakes, tell personal stories, get people to move more to less racism.

And for that she was crucified.

She spoke very seriously, without malice, about her own racism, about her regrets. There’s no question she was trying to do good and meant NO HARM. I’d have cheered her were I there.

I am done with everyone who refuses to let those who mean no harm talk about race. 

Al Campanis, Jimmy the Greek, Shirley Sherrod…

If you don’t get what they have in common, you’re a racist race monger.

Make one little misstep and deviate from what the PC mob happens to believe at this moment, and they will destroy you. As they are now trying to destroy Sherrod.

Hey, Andrew Breitbart, you’re one of my heroes. But using Sherrod as, ahem, a whipping boy to revenge yourself on the NAACP for calling the Tea Party racists–way too much. I’m fine with ruining some PC d-bagger for making a misstep if they’re doing it maliciously. We should try to ruin Harry Reid for his racist comments. But Sherrod was actually trying to do the right thing. 

Andrew, you’re now a member of the lynch mob going after anyone who speaks honestly and without malice about race. I don’t give a damn whether you only got a clip of the video and couldn’t wait to post it till you had the whole context. That’s what a lynching is–stringing someone up before you have all the facts. You lynched this woman, and I mean that with every bit of racial subtext and context that can be attached to the word “lynching.” I’m really interested to see what you will say about this over time. I’d love to talk to you about it, and think I could convince you that this time political opportunism overcame your basic decency. But if I couldn’t I kind of think you’d be dead to me. We have to treat the other side decently when they behave decently.

The NAACP has had a great week and honest people have to admit that Mark Williams’ unforced error (see my previous post) proves them right about racism in the Tea Party: Mark Williams had 400,000 members of his Tea Party Express.  Williams is a pernicious, active racist. I hope almost all of Williams’ followers are as shocked as I am by his revealed racism. But I doubt it. I doubt he kept his racism on the down low until just now. I never listened to nor had heard of him till just recently. Until his followers repudiate him publicly, screw them. Perhaps Williams hadn’t outed himself as a vicious racist before Ben Jealous threw down the gauntlet. And then the racism boiling over in his sad little soul just boiled over like a boiling over thing….I’ve been watching too much Greg Gutfeld on Red Eye.

The Left was right. There’s significant racism in the Tea Party. True until otherwise proven, you hundreds of thousands of Mark Williams followers. What say you? Seriously, you Tea Party Express people need to do something publicly.

UPDATES:

Mark Williams has resigned from the Tea Party Express, gracelessly, dishonestly and exactly like the little bitch he is.

Hey, Eric Holder, you say Americans are cowards when it comes to talking about race, but I haven’t heard you yet defend this gutsy woman Shirley Sherrod.

Hey, Barack, you fired this woman like she was radioactive based on YouTube. Everyone says you jumped too soon. Well, yeah, governing by YouTube is pretty pathetic.

But  nobody I’ve seen yet has said this to you: You Barack Obama, jumped too soon because you bought the original story hook line and sinker because you felt, deep in your heart, that it was true. That Sherrod was a nasty black racist who had broken cover. You know damn well that black racism is a virulant undergrowth in mainstream black organizations.  “Killing cracker babies” is way more a mainstream sentiment among blacks than you dare admit. You found Sherrod guilty because that’s what you expected to find.

Barack, this story felt true to you. That’s why you jumped to conclusions.

Oh, and for everyone denying that the pressure to fire Sherrod wasn’t from the White House…

Barack Obama is a liar.

Robert Gibbs is a liar-in-chief’s little bitch.

I hate most everybody this week except Shirley Sherrod. Sure, she’s a racist. Sure, she’s done lots of bad things and made a career from race-mongering. But she’s the only person this week I’ve seen actually speak truth to power. The only one showing real moral growth as she’s matured. And then she outed the liars in the White House who tried to keelhaul her. You go, Shirley!

UPDATE MARCH 2019: This wasn’t the only time that feckless racist Barack Obama jumped the gun on racial issues. Remember the Beer Summit? And Trayvon Martin?  The Left whines that Donald Trump shoots off his mouth without having the facts, how very un-Presidential! Obama did it every time there was any race-tainted issue.

 

Bristol and Levi sitting in a tree

If this doesn’t kill the Right’s love affair with La Palin, nothing will.

Sarah Palin has made a mess of her family. She’s done nothing that indicates strength or values dealing with her stupid slutty daughter Bristol. I’m sure that welcoming Bristol’s bastard brat seemed the right thing to do politically at the time. That’s why Sarah did it. Not out of principle or love or anything except political appearance.

Unfortunately, Sarah didn’t take into account the 18-year-lifespan of the story. Or what a dumb bimbo her daughter would keep being. Or what a feckless wimp the baby daddy was.

Now, bratty Bristol has informed Sarah via People magazine that she’s in WUV with Wevi and they’re going to get married and shut up mamma if you want to get invited to the wedding.

It’s time to rescue some dignity, Sarah. They have ice floes in Alaska, don’t they? Put both of them on one and then go home and shut up about everything for the rest of your life.

Update 2016: Every nasty thing I’ve ever said about Sarah Palin was prescient.

Muslims at Ground Zero

Muslim Mosque, Muslim “Community Center”?

Whatever.

Daring to dominate the grieving of those they murderered is typical Islam. We’ll build a tower that you’re not allowed to enter near the tower we destroyed.

It’s patently offensive. By “patently,” I mean I ‘m not going to try to explain it to you if you don’t get it. You’re that stupid.

This is a Muslim dhimmitude maneuver.

Nobody in favor of this is respectable. Nobody. At best, you are a willing dhimmi. More likely, you’re a traitor.

What I want from the NAACP

Nothing more.

Right now, I’m kind of a fan of the NAACP and I think they did restore their relevance. Conservatives slinging contempt on them should think hard about what has actually happened.

Let me thank Ben Jealous for demanding that ugly elements of the Tea Party be expelled. I was critical of Ben Jealous yesterday, but he got action, good action.

The Tea Party people have responded and expelled some of their morlocks, including a bigwig or two, some of them racist assholes, some of them just assholes.

Let me acknowledge also that Ben Jealous did denounce the New Black Panthers when the Tea Partiers pointed out his own kettle black problem.  Thanks, Ben. That took big balls.

It seems to me today that Ben Jealous is the kind of passionate, incendiary guy that could sit down with the passionate incendiary Tea Party people and both sides have enough honesty to recognize a similar fire for justice and decency that could make them find common ground.

Kumbaya and beer.

So I could end this post congratulating Ben Jealous for raising important issues, ceding ground, getting results and being a good guy.

And the Tea Party for responding, admitting and giving up their morlocks.

If this weren’t a rant blog, that’s where I’d stop, but I really want to rant.

Ok, I’m going to stop. But I really want to rant. I think my head’s going to explode.

UPDATE: Before it disappears down the memory hole….

Mark Williams, a talk radio host,  just got his stupid racist ass booted out of the Tea Party movement and deservedly so. Mark is kind of a bigwig in the Tea Party movement (well, he was until today), so he absolutely makes Ben Jealous’s point about Tea Party racists. Mark hadn’t outed himself as a racist before the NAACP demanded the Tea Party out their racists. No, he had to respond to Ben Jealous by compulsively outing his own self as a racist.

Mark Williams is a little bitch and so has taken down what he said off his web site, but I have a copy and it will be posted here as long as anything I post is here.

Here’s what Williams said, writing a satiracial letter to Abe Lincoln:

Dear Mr. Lincoln

We Coloreds have taken a vote and decided that we don’t cotton to that whole emancipation thing. Freedom means having to work for real, think for ourselves, and take consequences along with the rewards. That is just far too much to ask of us Colored People and we demand that it stop!

In fact we held a big meeting and took a vote in Kansas City this week. We voted to condemn a political revival of that old abolitionist spirit called the ‘tea party movement’.

The tea party position to “end the bailouts” for example is just silly. Bailouts are just big money welfare and isn’t that what we want all Coloreds to strive for? What kind of racist would want to end big money welfare? What they need to do is start handing the bail outs directly to us coloreds! Of course, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People is the only responsible party that should be granted the right to disperse the funds.

And the ridiculous idea of “reduce[ing] the size and intrusiveness of government.” What kind of massa would ever not want to control my life? As Coloreds we must have somebody care for us otherwise we would be on our own, have to think for ourselves and make decisions!

The racist tea parties also demand that the government “stop the out of control spending.” Again, they directly target coloreds. That means we Coloreds would have to compete for jobs like everybody else and that is just not right.

Perhaps the most racist point of all in the tea parties is their demand that government “stop raising our taxes.” That is outrageous! How will we coloreds ever get a wide screen TV in every room if non-coloreds get to keep what they earn? Totally racist! The tea party expects coloreds to be productive members of society?

Mr. Lincoln, you were the greatest racist ever. We had a great gig. Three squares, room and board, all our decisions made by the massa in the house. Please repeal the 13th and 14th Amendments and let us get back to where we belong.

Sincerely

Precious Ben Jealous, Tom’s Nephew
NAACP Head Colored Person

Let’s be clear: Mark Williams is a filthy dangerous racist. Anyone in the Tea Party movement who defends him, however tepidly, after the stunt you just read above, is a racist.

The NAACP wins this round. Mark Williams is a racist and a Tea Party bigwig. Ben Jealous was right and he goaded one of the worst kind of racists to show his colors in the Tea Party.

Good on the Tea Party for ejecting Mark Williams. It will remain to be seen whether he’ll be rehabilitated, defended or excused. If he is, I’m sending money to the NAACP. Seriously, anyone who is a Mark Williams fan (I’d never heard of this turd before today), you are a racist turd too. I don’t care if you burn in hell, but shut up.  We don’t like you, we don’t want you, we’re not like you. And now we’re on to you. Show up at another event and see what happens if you let me see anything of what you really are.

I live in Seattle. I’ve never seen a racist thing at a Tea Party event. Well, that’s probably because I live in Seattle. I promise, if I ever do see such a thing, or anything close, I will go Hulk on it. Any closet racists who let any of their ugly show, I promise to slam them. But that doesn’t mean much. Like anyone in Seattle is going to do anything racist.

The NAACP was right. Admit it Tea Party people, and let’s behave better. We’ve let these racists tag along as long as they didn’t hold signs that were overtly racist. Don’t ask, don’t tell. Every Mark Williams sympathizer needs to be expelled. Hard. Now. I hate them. We need to be HOSTILE to racism.

Ben Jealous, thank you. The rest of the Tea Party movement, thank Ben too. Seriously, Goddammit, write Ben and thank him for calling you on your shit.

The End of The Race Card

Last week, the head of the NAACP, Ben Jealous (great name Ben!), went all black-rhetorical and fulminatorial against the racist Tea Partiers. He demanded that the Tea Party movement denounce the racists in their ranks.

This isn’t quite as stupid as demanding that the Mad Hatter be disinvited from future Tea Party functions, but it’s close. So far, not one of the examples Jealous cited of racist signs or acts has been confirmed.

Idiotically, Jealous continued to repeat Georgia Congressman John Lewis’s discredited claims that multiple Tea Partiers shouted “Nigger!” at him and spit on him on the Capitol steps. In case you hadn’t heard about this, Lewis and several other black politicians and hangers on made this claim a few months ago. Unfortunately, in the iPhone age, there was plenty of professional and amateur video with sound and nary a nigger-saying can be heard on any of it. Andrew Breitbart offered $100,000 to anyone who could substantiate Lewis’s lie. Breitbart still has his $100K.

That weasel politician Lewis was lying. Not only was he lying but the other black guys with him who corroborated his story are liars too. In the lying tradition of Al Sharpton and the racist tradition of Jesse Jackson and Louis Farrakhan.

The mainstream media paints Lewis as a pillar of integrity. But as far as I can tell, according to the mostly-worshipful Wikipedia article on him, he’s made his career in racial politics, good for him, but it doesn’t tell me why I should trust him more than Reverend Al. Oh, and evidently Lewis is the Congressional king of accepting private junkets. Till proven otherwise, as far as I can tell, he’s just another weasel politician playing to his strengths. Oh, and a bald-faced liar and racial bomb-thrower too.

Jealous also accused Tea Partiers of yelling Fag at Barney Frank. This charge is more credible, but what does it have to do with racism? I swear if I ever met Frank, I’d have a hard time not going Elmer Fudd and saying, “You wascawwy faggot!” Still, decowum must be obsewved.

Given the fact that blacks are a lot more homophobic than the average American, it’s a little bit ironic, don’t you think, that Jealous would call out Tea Partiers for gay-bashing? What’s he going to accuse the Tea Party of next, being mean to Korean grocers?

Ok, enough fun and games, let’s get serious:

This post is about the end of The Race Card. From now on, I’m going to react like black people react to being called the N-Word when anyone even implicitly accuses me of racism. I’m going to get loud, angry and outraged.

After all, being accused of racism is a lot more damaging these days than being called the N-Word. If you flinch, you’re done. Trent Lott’s career was destroyed because he said something nice about a racist guy at a dinner in that guy’s honor. Lott had no intention of saying anything racist–he was trying to be polite. Anyone see Bill Clinton take a political hit for last week explicitly excusing Robert Byrd for being a KKK bigwig? Bill Clinton is a racist-sympathizer. No honest person can say otherwise after that performance. (and if you do, you’re as big a liar as John Lewis)

Harmless half-senile old white guys Al Campanis and Jimmy the Greek were destroyed for saying racially incorrect things about sports and blacks. They meant no malice.

On the other side, Harry “Negro Dialect” Reid was given a pass because he’s on the Left. Reid obviously thinks that “Negro Dialect” is inferior and electoral poison. That was obviously implicit in what he said.

Being accused of racism today is worse than being accused of being a Communist in 1952. Unless you’re a politically correct Democrat Party darling. Then all is forgiven. (It goes to show how p-whipped American liberals are that that Creepy Uncle Bill Clinton still gives them a tingle up their leg and they all rush to sit on his lap and get fondled by him every time he shows up for dinner.)

Crying racism is the new McCarthyism. Leftist race-baiters destroy careers, excuse their apparatchiks, slander their opponents and need to be bitch-slapped hard. I don’t think I’m the only one who feels this way. Obama is counting on the race card to rescue his party this November. Of course, when it doesn’t work, he’ll whine that racism robbed his motley crew of whiners and technocratic totalitarians of their right to run the world. God help any of them who do it in front of me.

Why I hate Libertarians

Rand Paul, offspring of Ron Paul, got swept into the political mainstream on the Tea Party wave, and what’s the first thing he did?

Pissed all over the Civil Rights Act.  Way to pick a fight you didn’t have to pick, you idiot.

That pretty much characterizes what should be the real slogan of the Libertarian Party:

Not just picking fights we can’t win, but fights most people can’t understand. Since 1972.

Hey, Rand Paul, are you going to get elected and start proposing bills repealing the Civil Rights Act and affirmative action and anything else that black people and liberals think favors black people? If not, then WHY DON’T YOU SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT THIS STUFF SINCE YOU HAVE NO INTENTION OF DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT?

Obama didn’t campaign on The Communist Manifesto. You don’t have to turn every voter into a neo-Austrian Mises-reader to get elected either.

You’re not a racist, Rand. But you sure sounded like one. Libertarians refuse to meet people on any common ground. Instead, they like to use shock and awe to get attention which must be paid to their their abstruse political principles. Legalize crystal meth. Defend the right to racism.  Get rid of all public libraries and the highways.

Most people are a long way away from even starting to think about abstract political ideals like Libertarians do.

In full disclosure, I once ran for congress as a Libertarian. My poll numbers got high enough that both the GOP and the incumbent Democrat treated me with respect. At the end of the day, I respected the Democrat and despised the Republican.

I treated the process very unseriously, nearly as performance art (though I didn’t know that term then). I raised money by selling bumper stickers that said “Vote! Vote! Or I’ll Cut Your Throat!” next to “Don’t Vote! It Only Encourages Them!” and “Vote for <ME> Unless You’re an Idiot.” I got lots of press coverage and got included in serious debates which I made very unserious.  (“What do I say to those who say that Libertarians would give LSD to schoolchildren? I say, We’re not socialists! We’ll SELL LSD to schoolchildren! They have to pay like anyone else!” Standing ovation in front of 5000 college students. College students are dumb as hell.)

That’s a little immature, even in a pre-9/11 end of history world where I knew I couldn’t get elected and the best I could do was to attract smart disaffected young people much like myself to libertarian ideas.

But Rand Paul actually is the favorite to win the election this year. He’s not just using the system as a publicity stunt like I was.

It’s easy to take cheap shots at the system when you think the system will survive all your tantrums and snottiness and refusals to work with anything that is less than perfect. When you’re still a child who thinks that nothing you can do will bring your invulnerable extended family down and so you can sulk, pout, sneer, indulge in adolescent self-righteousness and stamp up the stairs and slam the door.

Ron Paul and Rand Paul are both adolescent door-slamming teenage girl jerks. Like many libertarians and all Libertarians, they take themselves as seriously as does your average teenage girl. And act about as seriously about bringing about actual change.

Libertarian zeal to change the world is pure teenage girl: you will worship me because I’m so awesome and hot. No way I have to figure out how to make anything happen really, because my ideological hotness will just make it happen, imagine. No more tragedy of the commons. Imagine all the people, getting mail every day if the post office didn’t have a monopoly, ooh hoo, you may say I’m a dreamer, but toll roads are the way, I hope someday you’ll join us and you’ll do exactly what we say is the the right way to solve all those horrible problems that have never been solved by government except the roads work ok and the libraries have books and NASA actually invented Gatorade and the Internet is pretty cool….but all those things would be way better if we’d been in charge, so they still suck. Except cap and trade. Oops, we realize now that our perennial proposal to fix all environmental issues is easily coopted and corrupted by government, so never mind.

Here’s my advice to Libertarians: Get a real job. It worked for me.

UPDATE April 2019: Fuck, yeah!