The Bitch Bubble

Nearly everything American women say in public to and about themselves is self-aggrandizing, narcissistic bullshit. That’s been true for 50 years, but something has changed lately.

American women have gone from claiming they’re generally better and more enlightened than men to asserting they get more done, get paid more and they like one night stands more. They’ve gone from self-serving to delusional.

This morning, I saw yet another story on Good Morning America or Today about whether it’s worth it to get a college degree anymore. Every time the mainstream media does this story, they come back with a resounding, in-the-tank-for-the-educational-establishment Yes! But this time, not quite so much. The victim of the day was a dumb chick who majored in French and was now working in “customer service.” She thought she’d get a free ride as a UN translator. When interviewed in her cubicle, she remained plucky and unbowed, sure that being a French translator at the UN would come roaring back. The expert on the segment mildly suggested that she might want to try to get a job at a company that has offices in France. This had never occurred to this dumb bitch, who obviously thought she was going to be Le Marlo Thomas and live in New York the rest of her life on a boondoggle UN salary.

I bring this up because this is one example of stupid loser women being touted as winners in cover stories every damn month in article after article in The Atlantic and other middle-brow magazines that cater to the vanity of females. In truth, these women are shallow semi-articulate idiots who’ve wasted their early 20’s learning to parrot polysyllables without actually being able to do much except put out or otherwise service customers for near minimum wage.

Women are not winning in this culture. There are more dumb broads than men in college now because colleges have learned that women are easier marks for nonsensical loans and majors. Women are racking up more college debt they’ll never pay back, and are, a few years out of college, desperately looking for husbands who will assume that debt. They are lazily and vaguely hoping to get jobs in dying institutions that can pay big only in prosperous times–government, non-profits, teaching. They are oblivious to the fact that they look for jobs from such institutions exactly like rich wives look to their husbands to bankroll boutiques.

In STEM degrees and fields, women are ridiculously underrepresented. Emphasis on “ridiculously.”  I work in a STEM field and less than 10% of the technical work is done by women and less than 1% of the excellent work is done by them. It’s been 50 years since Women’s Lib–how dare women do so little of even the metaphorical heavy lifting at work, much less the real heavy lifting?

Either women can’t compete with men or refuse to. There’s no glass ceiling blocking them, it’s their fantasy of glass slippers. Educating women is a huge waste of resources–the typical man gives back far more to the economy, whether educated or not than the typical French/Womens Studies/Sustainability female major. In fact, the more debt a woman racks up in college, the less likely she is to contribute and pay it off, since the more likely it is she will need a man to pay it off for her. She drops out of the work force and focuses on trading blowjobs to her husband for monthly student loan payments.

Female arrogance in America has reached the kind of irrational pitch and feverish salesmanship that is associated with all bubbles.

I bitch a lot about how nearly all commercials portray men as incompetent shlubs needing to be scolded and nagged by their longsuffering wives. OK, women are the target audience  of most commercials, so shouldn’t commercials cater to women? Let’s assume that commercials accurately appeal to women. Do most women like seeing themselves portrayed as matriarchal condescending cunts? Because, in most commercials, women are horrible, bitchy, passive aggressive shrews.

Yeah, actually, I think commercials do appeal to the typical American Woman psyche. American women seek that ideal.

The bubble’s about to burst, bitches.

Evil Women

I’m going to go out on a short limb here and make predictions about 3 cases involving women who are either evil or are victims–the jury is still out on which they are:

• The parents of 10-month old Lisa Irwin. They didn’t do it. I declare them victims.

Lisa was allegedly abducted while mom was sleeping off some box wine. Mom didn’t do it, unless she rolled over in her sleep and smothered the kid.

I don’t care about all the CSI bullshit and what the cops are saying–cadaver dogs, my ass. Most so-called criminal forensic science has about as much credibility as witch-dunking. Hey, you idiots who made the CSI shows a franchise–even fingerprints aren’t as conclusive as you think they are.

• The mom in Seattle who claims she ran out of gas, and walked a mile to a gas station with her 4 year old, leaving the 2 year old in the carseat. She killed her kid.

I’ve been saying since Day 1 that she’s the new Susan Smith. Actually, I was saying from Day 1 about Susan Smith that she was the new Susan Smith.

• The women accusing Herman Cain of sexually harassing them. Perps, every one, to one degree or another.

This stinks worse than the Seattle mom’s story, even without Cryptkeeper Gloria Allred’s bony animated corpse orchestrating it.

First, that Sharon whatsername bitch–I smell Borderline Personality Disorder all over her. People ask, why would she lie? Because she can. Because she can’t help it. Because it gets her craved attention. Because she has some retarded irrational plan in mind. Chaotic women are chaotic.

Even if Cain did what she says, she’s a crazy, hinky bitch. And it wasn’t sexual harassment. It was a clumsy pass. The quid-pro-quo  she’s claiming (“You want a job, don’t you?”) doesn’t even work because she wasn’t working for him. He didn’t ask, “You want to keep your job/get a promotion, don’t you?”

If Cain did that, it’s casting-couch creepy. Hell, it’s Bill Clinton creepy. I like the clarity of this: Either he’s a lying scumbag or the women are.

Cain is being smeared. Except for Miss Crazypants, nobody has yet accused him of anything that’s anything. But the lamestream media is focusing on Crazypants and implying the rest of the harpies have similar stories. Most people don’t pay close attention–this is why smears work.

Ah, but with 5 women accusing him, there must be something there….yeah, a witch hunt.

There are a lot of powerful pussy men with careers similar to Herman Cain’s who are remaining silent even though they’ve been similarly extorted several times also over the years.

Yeah, women do this shit, they do it a lot. This is different from false rape allegations, which we now know happen frequently enough that no rape claim should be accepted without diligent critical scrutiny, especially when those involved knew each other previously. Still, false rape allegations are a minority of the allegations, if a sizeable minority.

I’m pretty damn sure that the majority of claims of sexual harassment are trivial, distorted, conniving and filed by women who are nuts, lazy or out for revenge or financial or personal advantage. Until proven innocent, I consider all claims of sexual harassment to have about the same worth as prison inmates’ claims of innocence.

Sensible women and nearly all men who’ve worked in large organizations know this is true. Few dare say that most women who claim sexual harrassment are batshit crazy or just plain old lying cunts, but we all know it. That’s the real reason Cain hasn’t been tanked in the polls yet, despite the smear campaign.

 

Gate Rape

If you fly on airplanes at airports in America, you have to go through security. They’ll put you in this weird revolving tube and make you raise your hands above your head while they hit you with lots of radiation, not enough radiation to make you into the Incredible Hulk or Spider-man.

Unless you say three little words and then you don’t get irradiated: I opt out.

The weird tube will give you a lot of radiation, so much that I hope you get a really painful cancer if you put up with them making you do this. Except for my wife. I don’t want her to get cancer. She puts up with this shit and and she still got gate-raped after getting irradiated because she had a dryer sheet in her pocket. I thought that was pretty funny, since I wore a kilt and Hello Kitty panties and opted out, and I got less hassled than she did.

Lesson learned: I could have had 84 pounds of C-4 tucked into my Hello Kitty panties and nobody with a penis at TSA wanted to find out what I was packing. My panties were TSA-agent-kryptonite. Islamic terrorists, here’s how you do it.

What we do know, from how my wife got got gate-raped and how Amy Alkon got gate-raped, is that I should get a TSA job so I can feel up random women whenever I want to. Seriously, TSA agents are “randomly” feeling up hot girls whenever they want to. What a great job!

Amy Alkon, the awesome girl who’s The Advice Goddess, is getting sued by some ugly TSA bitch for $500K for saying “raped” while getting finger-banged by said ugly TSA bitch.

How do I know the TSA bitch is ugly? Because everyone working for TSA is ugly, stupid and has a mustache.

Is there a TSA requirement that you must be “not fuckable” to get hired?

Maybe I could get a job at TSA. I’d have to grow a mustache.

Thedala Magee is the name of the psycho horrible bitch who’s suing Amy Alkon. I don’t know whether Thedala Magee is doing this because she’s a horrible cunt who watches too much “sue everybody” TV before she goes to work at her horrible government job or whether her overlords at her horrible government job told her to do it. I  suspect the latter.

Either way, I hope Thedala Magee gets killed in a crosswalk. I hope she falls through the social safety-net and gets impaled on a sharp stick.

Now the important stuff…

Obama’s fascist brigades are taking these same TSA backscatter machines on the road. Literally. They’re scanning parked cars, looking for guns in your glove boxes and other suspicious things. No warrants, no nothing, just driving down city streets, backscattering to their police state heart’s content. They’re randomly setting it up in bus and train stations. They’re randomly irradiating you so they can see what’s in your pockets and laugh at at your fat asses and skinny wee-wee’s.

So let me be completely clear.

This is the rape of the 4th Amendment. If you don’t get this, you deserve to have a guy with an 8 dollar an hour job stick an 8 cent glove up your butt.

If you voluntarily go to an airport and voluntarily go through a backscatter machine because you are afraid of missing your flight, you are a gutless wonder and unworthy of American citizenship. I hope they load you on a Buchenwald-bound train. Except my wife. She’s kind of a retard about this kind of stuff. Love is exception-making.

Just to be really really fucking clear, my wife is one of you. I love her to death, but she shouldn’t be allowed to vote. She’s almost as stupid as the average Democrat when it comes to politics. She’s constitutionally incapable of understanding Constitutional principles. Thank Christ she doesn’t read this blog. She doesn’t read anything that Oprah doesn’t recommend or that doesn’t have a fucking beach scene on the cover or that isn’t titled [noun] [preposition] [food noun] or [Meaningless Phrase That Sounds Kinda Sad].

Bottom line: if you don’t say “I opt out” when TSA tries to send you through their machine, you’re not even trying to be a human being. Unless you’re a girl. We’ll give girls a pass here. Aristotle was right. The 19th Amendment was wrong.

Good luck finding a woman who knows what the 19th Amendment is.

Cheesy

Up All Night is a new sitcom based on the new, fresh idea that first time parents with a new baby are going to be tired and stressed.

But it does have Will Arnett in it (from Arrested Development) and Christina Applegate (from Married with Children).

It’s pretty funny.

He’s househusbanding. She’s executive producer of the Ava show (the slaps at Oprah make me cackle).

On her first day back to work, she’s The Savior.

On his first day as standalone househusband he calls her in a panic from the grocery store because grocery stores are really big and he can’t find the cheese. She tells him it’s next to the eggs and talks him down.

Just as funny a joke would have been if she held up a wrench and hammer and asked him which one’s the screwdriver.

New Category

I’m not sure what to call this category. It’s going to be about the horrible way women are portrayed in most advertising.

Like my TTT (Today in Tiny Totalitarianism) category, I want to start cataloging the crazy shit going on every day before I forget about it. Robert Heinlein used to do this, filing stuff under “The Silly Season.” It’s not a season anymore.

Usually, men’s rights guys (I use that term loosely) bitch about TV ads by saying that men, especially family men, are portrayed as bumbling doofuses.

I’m going to go to the distaff side and point out that for every doofus there’s a shrew. Feminists should be the ones howling about sexism in advertising, not men’s rights pussies.

Feminists say nothing about this kind of advertising, like they say nothing about how Muslims abuse women. I’m not saying that they are silent on both issues from the same motivation.  But it’s similar. Feminists say nothing about Muslims abusing women because feminists are upper-class Western hypocrites who care much more about their alimony than some brown chick getting her clit cut off. Clitless women are invisible to them. Feminists say nothing about advertising that portrays women as shrews because they swim in it. The shrewishness is invisible to American feminists because the ads are a mirror that they think they look pretty in.

I think I’ll call this new category Shrewd.

Microsoft has been running these ads where a shrew refuses to upgrade her PC, till her PC-whipped boyfriend gets the Microsoft guys to outfit her living room as a PC store. When the shrew comes home, she’s pissy and obnoxious and overrides her doofus boyfriend’s choice to “get her way” and he ends the ad with a shit-eating grin. If this weren’t an ad, you know he’d have paid for that laptop that she wanted and he didn’t.

I saw a third Microsoft ad tonight where the woman wasn’t a shrew. Because there was no man in the ad. I guess her book club girl friends must have set up the PC Punked moment for her.

But that’s not what triggered this post, at least not proximately.

Here’s an AT&T ad:

Guy is diapering a baby while talking to a friend on his iPhone.

Friend is all on about last night’s game. Whipped guy didn’t see the game. Doesn’t want friend to think he’s a puss. He’s frantically looking up video from last night’s game so he can sound in the know, while diapering the baby.

Point of the ad is that AT&T let’s you get to the web while you’re on the phone, instead of making you pick being on the phone or being on the web.

Shrew wife walks in, catches him multitasking. The look on her face goes past shrew to cunt. He acts like he got caught jerking off on the baby. “I gotta bounce.” Ad ends with him incompetently stuck to the tape on a diaper waving it around trying to get it off his hand.

Unfortunately, it’s not a dirty diaper because he could have whirled it around his head a few times and slingshotted it at her like David killing Cuntliath.

There was no fucking reason for her to be acting pissed, except she’s a bitch. In a world not pandering to crazy feminist cunts, it could have been a cute bonding moment, not an assertion of bitch power.

Which brings me to Amica. They’re an insurance company. They’re doing ads where the chick is the smart one, but she’s cute and flirtatious and not emasculating. She’s smart without being a bitch about it. Nice job. I’ll bet somebody had to fight like hell to get those ads done.

So, here it is, ladies (and I use that term loosely),

Are you ok with being portrayed as horrid bitches in most advertisements? Or is it something you aspire to?

P.S.

Let me define terms here:

A bitch is a woman whose go-to tactic to get her way is making everyone else fear her moods and frowns.

A cunt is a bitch with no ethics.

In Defense of Al Gore

That psycho bitch in Portland who got paid $500 to rub Al Gore and then went Eww! Eek! a mouse! when Gore showed his beady little trouser-snake eye…

She failed lie detector tests.

She’s from Portland, and so we know 80% statistically she’s a psycho.

She says she thought she was getting paid $500 for an uncomplicated massage. Most high end salons charge less than half of that.  Of course, the asinine news media, adept at missing details and contradictions, didn’t blink at $500 for a massage by someone working on their own, not in a salon, not even in a “salon.”

Gore got ripped off in Portland. He paid $500 to get his Mt. St. Helens blown, to get his Old Faithful erupted, and instead she fizzled his rocket. What’s a crazed sex poodle to do?

So, Al obviously goes around the country getting not-Tipper chicks to get him off. Didn’t work out so well in Portland, the land of the other white meat. We all know that Al is regularly having orgasms in the presence of women whose names he knows not. Now Tipper knows. So they’re getting divorced.

The only thing that could make this better for me is to see Tipper smooching on Dee Snider.

Anyhow, Al Gore and John Edwards and Bill Clinton are all entitled to cheat on their horrible starter wives that they’ve been stuck with only because they chose careers in politics. We should respect their sacrifices. Tipper, Liz and Hil–what a harpy triad they are. No wonder these guys cheat with succubi.