Whores

May 30, 2011

Ahnold Schwarzenegger, John Edwards, Eliott Spitzer, Bill Clinton…what do all these cheaters have in common?

They married whores.

Their whore wives married cads, of course. But there are plenty of other people taking care of the cad-bashing. So I’ll take up the distaff side.

What is a whore? A whore is a woman who capitalizes on her sexuality for economic gain. By this definition, the majority of women are whores, or at least whore-wannabe’s.  Sorry, ladies, if the fuck-me pump fits, and a man paid for it, or you used it to get a man to pay for lobster, you’re a whore.

Being a whore isn’t the worst thing in the world. The hypocrisy about it is kind of annoying though.

It may seem in bad taste for me to call Elizabeth Edwards a whore. She is the worst whore of the 4 whore-wives I mentioned above. She just proves that whores are not immune from cancer. And, come on, look at those two…EE was either a skilled whore or willing to do highly specific things that most whores won’t do. Given what a feckless freak John Edwards is, I’m betting the latter. I’ll bet Elizabeth did things that John hasn’t yet dared broach to Reilly. And, I’m betting that whatever’s on that sex tape is really embarrassing, like cigar-up-Monica embarrassing.

Let’s distinguish whorishness from hypergamy. Women are attracted to male alpha-ness like men are attracted to female hottiness. That’s not what I’m talking about here. Whorishness is not about attraction but about calculation. Anna Nicole and her 90 year old husband–she’s a whore. Maria Shriver attracted to Ahnold–not a proven whore, until recently.

It’s hard to tell hypergamy from whorishness, especially with rich & famous couples till there’s a publicly-disclosed infidelity. That’s when the whore puts on her longsuffering victim makeup, and stands by her john.

I totally get it that hypergamously-successful women might not have started out as whores. But as they age and their prospects, estrogen levels and boobs droop, and as their alpha husbands stay on their upward trajectory, well, SPLAT. Hypergamy curdles into whorishness.

What’s most interesting about the 4 head cases I mentioned in line 1 of this post is how not-alpha they behaved when busted. But I’ll save my thoughts about that for another post.

What the hell did Hilary, Elizabeth, Maria and whatever the hell her name is who married Spitzer expect? Unicorns and rainbows? Oh, yeah, that’s exactly what they expected.

Stuck on stupid they were, yes, so think I. </Yoda>

They all ended up as whores, at an age long after most whores have long retired. Elizabeth and Maria and Hilary each helped cover up their husbands’ affairs to advance their careers. I find it very hard to believe that whatsername who married Spitzer was a marital mushroom either, though I have no facts about her journey to whoredom. I just saw her plant her hotel on Whore Avenue, so I’m assuming.

I won’t say which of these sad sacks I think started out as whores. Except Elizabeth Edwards. EE was born a ho. I feel about her like Christopher Hitchens feels about Mother Teresa.

Each of these women, along with being a whore, is worse, morally, than her philandering husband. Think about it. It’s not the crime, it’s the coverup.


Hands Off Our Medicare!

May 29, 2011

I want everyone chanting Hands Off Our Medicare! to die, sooner than later.

Seriously, with no exceptions, I want them dead.

To be clear, since maybe by now there are federal gubmint agents actually reading this blog instead of subpoena’ing me by search engine, I’m not expanding my HLET 2011 Killing Tour to include killing everyone who wants to get free medical care. Not yet. Plane tickets are hella expensive, and I don’t want to waste money on morons who’ve already expired by the time I get there.

But there are still tickets on sale for HLET2011KT, so you federale dumbasses might want to buy some tickets on StubHub. I’ll be opening for Steel Panther. I’ll be singing “Kill A Congresscritter for Christ” and “Capitol Hill Huntin’ Season” and “Ted Nugent Superstar.”  Real rock anthems.

Here’s why I hate Republicans. They’re still shuckin’ and jivin’ on the Medicare thing.

Here’s your elevator pitch, moron Republicans:

The choice is not keeping Medicare intact or changing it. The choice is changing Medicare or Medicare will suddenly, catastrophically fail earlier than everyone’s admitting, and lots of people will suddenly die.

There will be changes to Medicare. The only question is whether you will die suddenly from resisting change, when Medicare suddenly collapses, bitching about promises not kept as you go whining into that good night.

Or whether you’ll be a smart consumer who realizes that saving your life is not of infinite value to the rest of us. And you’ll try to bring down the cost of saving or prolonging your life.

You don’t get to choose to pay nothing and live forever. That’s what “Hands off our Medicare!” really means–I’d rather die than pay a penny. Good. Die. Asshole.

Gradually, then suddenly. That’s how systemic collapse works.

We’re in the suddenly phase now. Pay more or die. Personally, I hope you people with “Hands off my medicare!” signs keep refusing to pay more because I want you dead.


Peace in Our Time

May 29, 2011

Here’s how you solve the “Palestinian” “problem”:

You give the Palis 90 days to get absorbed into Muslim countries. Or they can be videotaped renouncing Allah, videos to be posted on YouTube. They may thereby exercise their “right of return” and put some skin in the game for hoping the Israeli state lasts.

After 90 days, all territory currently coveted by the Palis is now Jewish.  All Palis who have not yet vacated are fair game for being shoo’ed across various adjacent Muslim borders. No more water or sewer, the big Israeli bulldozers move in, and anyone crossing Israeli borders is shot down like Muslims shoot dogs.

Until the Jews give up and move to Miami, that’s the only thing that’s going to work.


Shoot a Newt

May 21, 2011

Several months ago, I wrote a post about the Newtmeister that was critical. (Actually, I think I made a death threat).   Here’s death threat #2 for any of Obama’s thugs who might care to make a list and check it twice.

Newt supported the Republican establishment in New York who had anointed Dede ScuzzyWuzzy in a special election. Dede was in favor of gay marriage, on-demand abortion and union “card-check” thuggery. And she was ACORN’s little bitch. Not much of a Republican.

Newt had the New York Republican establishment’s back. It blew up in his face.

The minute ScuzzyWuzzy lost, she backed the Democrat in the race against the Republican. Newt backed a traitor.

Did Newt go, “That BITCH!” No, he just faded away, no apology, no nothing.

On the news shows this weekend, Newt attacked Paul Ryan. He’s trying to walk it back, but I don’t think he will even if he buys Paul Ryan a Tiffany necklace.

That’s the last thing we need next year. Another jackass who thinks he’s smart enough to make it all turn out all right if we’d all JUST LISTEN!

I don’t care that Newt’s smart. He’s more a captive of the system than he is smart.

It’s not about Newt’s wandering penis. It’s not about Newt’s hypocrisy in bashing Clinton while Newt’s penis was wandering. Newt is the kind of guy who thinks that he is The Savior.

We’re about done with Messiahs.


Trumped

May 19, 2011

Will somebody please strangle Donald Trump with his own hair?

Oh, and I’d rather vote for Che Guevara than that plastic piece of technocratic crap Mitt Romney.

If Romney gets the Republican nomination, buy precious metals at any price, before you have to buy them at any price.

UPDATE 2016: I not only voted for Romney, but I put up yard signs and talked him up. And I’m even more enthusiastic now about Trump Triumphant.


Thanks, Barry!

May 17, 2011

Renewed my car insurance today–up $400 from last year. This is my wife’s and my car, a year older, a year cheaper shouldn’t it be?

WTF, please? I asked.

It’s all about medical.

My work insurance has gone to hell too. Way more costs.

Thanks, Obamacare!

I deleted several typical HLET paragraphs below this because I don’t want to make it harder for my lawyers to defend me.

<redacted>

Look up “present value” Obama you moron, on Wikipedia, you stupid big-eared pussy-whipped jackass, to figure out why everyone who works hard for a living is getting hugely screwed already even though your bullshit isn’t even in effect yet. It’s because smart people take your stupidity into account, you fucking asshole.

Oops, broke my don’t-swear rule.

Fuck you, Toonces.

UPDATE: It’s only up $200. I was wrong. It’s only 20+ percent because of Toonces.


BINT!

May 13, 2011

What a great word. I shall be using it often as code for bitching triumphant!