What do you people want?

May 22, 2010

In The Atlantic this month, Michael Kinsley has a crotchety rant about how he doesn’t know what the Tea Party people want, and what they should want if they’re Patriots is to pay more taxes.

Others say the Tea Party is about angry white men. Which it mostly is. And their Angry White Wives.

Angry White Men are what keeps the world running. We put up with shit from everyone. We’re the energizer bunnies of civilization.

I’m so fucking sick and fucking tired of people acting as if accusing you of being an Angry White Man should make you cower.

I’m a proud Angry White Man.

My cause is at least as just as that of proud Angry Black Men in the ’60’s.

You better start showing me some respect. If angry white men decide they can collect unemployment and ridiculous pensions like the rest of you resentful lazy little bitches, it’s over for you. Not over for us, over for you.

Here’s what the tea party people want:

To work hard and save their money and not have it taken to rescue the lazy poor or the rich connected people who fucked up.

We’re a bunch of people who did everything right and now see that you powerful lazy fucks and your poor prole clients  who did everything wrong are sucking the blood out of us to keep your unearned lifestyles going.

We hate you. Be Afraid. You don’t want to fuck with me past a certain point.

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The rule of law

May 22, 2010

Arizona passed their bad law mostly to shame the federales.

Now, the federales, instead of being shamed, are saying they’ll refuse to process any illegal immigrant Arizona refers to them.

I am actually starting to see civil war in our future, because of the contempt for the rule of law that the Obamanistas repeatedly show.

They’re a bunch of hothouse flowers, completely out of touch with why people oppose them, as much as the average teenage girl is out of touch with why her parents oppose her staying out all night. Unless we wrest control from them in November 2010, they will drive this car into the wall.

We Americans, those of us who keep the country running while listening to the screechy ranting of the moral equivalent of teenage girls who infest our universities and newspapers and government, are about to use our mommy voices.

All you teenygirl Obamanista dumbasses who think that the Tea Party movement doesn’t matter–you’re about to get an Intervention and get shipped off to Outward Bound.

At least I hope so.  November or never.


Annual Mother’s Day Rant Addendum

May 22, 2010

A commenter on my previous post said she honored all bad moms and only bad moms on Mother’s Day. Now, that’s how you survive under totalitarianism.

But I’m not sure I can exert that much energy.

My mom isn’t that bad a mom. Perhaps only in the bottom 20 percent. She might make the bottom 5 percent but probably not. She’s not all that much into achieving excellence in anything.

If my mom were that bad, you’d think I’d have embalmed her and run a hotel and stabbed guests to death in the shower. And I’d at least be gay and beat up hookers who looked like my mom and have a bigger pantie drawer than my wife and be a serial killer.

But I’ve only done several of those things.

I’ve been lucky to have a lot of good moms in my life. My paternal grandmother, who was my real mom. The moms of more than one girlfriend. My mother-in-law is kinda great.

So I’m always conflicted about ignoring Mother’s Day. But now I’ve got the bright idea to do something the day after Mother’s Day. “Because you don’t suck as a mother day.”

Seriously, I’m all about this. Next year every woman in my life who hasn’t sucked the lifeforce out of her offspring is getting something from me on the day after. And if you don’t get something, well, then I guess you know what I think about you.

 

UPDATE 2016: Uh oh. I forgot about this post.  I did the day after Mother’s Day thing the first year then forgot. I am a bad, bad man. But it’s now nearly Father’s Day. So I think I’m going to change this up. On Father’s Day, I’m going to give gifts to the great moms in my life, and on Mother’s Day, to the dads. How’s that for a great idea? Flower prices will be low on Father’s Day too!


Shut the fuck up, Felipe

May 21, 2010

Felipe Calderon, the Mexican government jefe, had the chutzpah to come to the US and whine about the Arizona law. Nice–head of a failing corrupt narco-state he props up by tossing his own people across the border to try to get some foreign exchange going, is bitching at us. About human rights. And cops who racial profile and use pretexts to harass people. Think about what you think about when you think about Mexican cops. What I think about when I think about the asshat who runs Mexico is that he’s like Fredo to Ahmadinejad’s Sonny.

UPDATE: So Congress cheered when this weird little Felipe fuck was feted by the self-hating Obamanistas while telling us to leave “our” meaning his people alone. And, I didn’t see it, but it was reported, that recent Supreme Court nominee Elena “Softballs” Kagan was in the room cheering too. On an issue where she’s likely to be ruling. Maybe she just got carried away. Still…

Oh screw it…I’m not going to wait for more information. Elena Kagan is a horrible hothouse leftist doctrinaire shrew. Were she not, Obama would never have nominated her. She’s Obama’s Harriet Miers, but he’ll get away with it. We’re putting a real nutjob on the Supreme Court for the first time. Sorry, second time–Comrade Justice Sonia is a whackjob jackass too.


be-pee

May 17, 2010

British Petroleum, the douchebags who’ve been for years putting out those stupid ads with “normal” people offering their opinions about energy production (you know the ads, they’re boring, yellow and have a synthesizer music bed) have now set up a hotline for “normal” people to offer suggestions about how they should clean up their giant oil spill.

I don’t know what to say after that. Great job, BP-eenie.


Annual Mother’s Day Rant

May 9, 2010

I don’t celebrate Mother’s Day. Because the majority of moms are bad moms.

If you think I’m being too harsh, look around at your friends and see what percentage  give a thumbs up to their moms.

Only Congress has lower actual approval ratings.

If you like your mom, honor her on a day not dedicated to all moms, most of whom suck at their jobs and who deserve to be fired. Out of a cannon loaded with a real cannon ball. 

Think about it. You’re lumping your mom in with them. That’s not nice.


We better be lucky because we ain’t smart

May 9, 2010

I was watching John Brennan, Obama’s bureaucrat in charge of stopping panty bombers, on Fox News Sunday. He was blustering and sounding tough and had his talking points all down till Chris Wallace took him down effortlessly.

Brennan claims that his band of boneheads has stopped hundreds of plots and the ones that have gotten through are the tiny fraction that made it through their fine strainer.

Really? These incompetent dolts are the best that the Jihadis have thrown at us? The rest were worse and even more obvious and so you nailed them?

Of course, Brennan is a liar. The incompetence of the Jihadis is trumped only by the ideologically driven incompetence of the Obama administration. How come the frequency of these Keystone Kaeda attacks has stepped up so much on Obama’s watch? Sure, there were incidents in the Bush years, but few and far between. And in none of those cases was there such a trail of breadcrumbs as in each of Obama’s failures.

There’s no excuse for not catching the underpants bomber before he boarded the plane. Even his parents ratted him out, but Obama’s bureaucracy didn’t react. In this latest case, everyone’s giving Obama’s Keystone Kops mad props for catching this guy in 2 days. But they didn’t notice he was going back and forth to Pakistan more than a dozen times and was training in Taliban camps. And the guy almost made it out of the country because of multiple detailed leaks about the investigation that reached him on CNN.

If people like the panty bomber and this guy can strike at will, and fail only because of being demolition school dropouts, then who can the US government stop?

You know who I trust to fix this problem? Muslims. George Bush freaked them the fuck out with JDAMs and marines. While I am glad to see Obama eschewing torture in favor of  murdering lots of bad guys by clubbing them to death with Predator drones, it doesn’t have the same effect on the rest of the Muslim world. They think they’re safe from American violence. They may bitch about how when we assassinated some deserving Imam that his kids were in the car, but they know they just have to not get in the car with known assholes to be safe. We need the Muslim world to be afraid that we’re going to go Bush-crazy on them again if they don’t knock it off. Otherwise, they’ll just wink wink nudge nudge and quietly support terrorism against us because come on, admit the truth we all know–they resent and hate the USA nearly as much as American liberals do.

I thought Hilary was hilarious threatening the Paki government about what we’d do to them if the oxymoronic competent Paki ever got a bomb to not fizzle on American soil.  What she and her master in the White House got wrong is that we should be delivering on that threat now.  We should go into Wazzooristan and firebomb every single fucking village. This notion that we don’t know here Osama is or where the terrorists are is crap. Google maps has a picture of my back yard. We know exactly what we need to destroy to take them out. We should drop fliers giving them 72 hours to cough up UBL, and promising to drone-kill anyone fleeing, and then prove once again that napalm does stick to little kids. Otherwise we’re going to have to kill a lot more little Muslim kids eventually.