What do you people want?

In The Atlantic this month, Michael Kinsley has a crotchety rant about how he doesn’t know what the Tea Party people want, and what they should want if they’re True Patriots is to pay more taxes.

Others say the Tea Party is about angry white men. Which it mostly is. And their Angry White Wives.

Angry White Men are what keeps the world running. We put up with endless crap from everyone. We’re the energizer bunnies of civilization.

I’m so sick and tired of people acting as if accusing you of being an Angry White Man should make you cower.

I’m a proud Angry White Man.

My cause is at least as just as that of proud Angry Black Men in the ’60’s.

You better start showing me some respect. If angry white men decide they can collect unemployment and ridiculous pensions like the rest of you resentful lazy little bitches, it’s over for you. Not over for us, over for you.

Here’s what the tea party people want:

To work hard and save their money and not have it taken to rescue the lazy poor or rich connected people who screwed up.

We’re a bunch of people who did everything right and now see that you powerful lazy insiders and your poor prole clients who did everything wrong are sucking the blood out of us to keep your unearned lifestyles going.

We hate you. Be Afraid. You don’t want to screw with me past a certain point.

The rule of law

Arizona passed their bad law mostly to shame the federales.

Now, the federales, instead of being shamed, are saying they’ll refuse to process any illegal immigrant Arizona refers to them.

I am actually starting to see civil war in our future, because of the contempt for the rule of law that the Obamanistas repeatedly show.

They’re a bunch of hothouse flowers, completely out of touch with why people oppose them, as much as the average teenage girl is out of touch with why her parents oppose her staying out all night. Unless we wrest control from them in November 2010, they will drive this car into the wall.

All you Obamanista apparatchicks who think that the Tea Party movement doesn’t matter–you’re about to get an Intervention and get shipped off to Outward Bound.

At least I hope so.  November or never.

Annual Mother’s Day Rant Addendum

A commenter on my previous post said she honored all bad moms and only bad moms on Mother’s Day. Now, that’s how you survive under totalitarianism.

But I’m not sure I can exert that much energy.

My mom isn’t that bad a mom. Perhaps only in the bottom 20 percent. She might make the bottom 5 percent but probably not. She’s not all that much into achieving excellence in anything.

If my mom were that bad, you’d think I’d have embalmed her and run a hotel and stabbed guests to death in the shower. And I’d at least be gay and beat up hookers who looked like my mom and have a bigger pantie drawer than my wife and be a serial killer.

But I’ve only done several of those things.

I’ve been lucky to have a lot of good moms in my life. My paternal grandmother, who was my real mom. The moms of more than one girlfriend. My mother-in-law is kinda great.

So I’m always conflicted about ignoring Mother’s Day. But now I’ve got the bright idea to do something the day after Mother’s Day. “Because you don’t suck as a mother day.”

Seriously, I’m all about this. Next year every woman in my life who hasn’t sucked the lifeforce out of her offspring is getting something from me on the day after. And if you don’t get something, well, then I guess you know what I think about you.

 

UPDATE 2016: Uh oh. I forgot about this post.  I did the day after Mother’s Day thing the first year then forgot. I am a bad, bad man. But it’s now nearly Father’s Day. So I think I’m going to change this up. On Father’s Day, I’m going to give gifts to the great moms in my life, and on Mother’s Day, to the dads. How’s that for a great idea? Flower prices will be low on Father’s Day too!

Shut up, Felipe

Felipe Calderon, the Mexican government jefe, had the chutzpah to come to the US and whine about the Arizona ID law. Nice–head of a failing corrupt narco-state he props up by tossing his own people across the border to try to get some foreign exchange going, is lecturing us. About human rights. And cops who racial profile and use pretexts to harass people. Think about what you think about when you think about Mexican cops. What I think about when I think about the asshat who runs Mexico is that he’s like Fredo to Ahmadinejad’s Sonny.

UPDATE: So Congress cheered when weird little Felipe was feted by the self-hating Obamanistas while telling us to leave “our” (meaning his) people alone. And, I didn’t see it, but it was reported, that recent Supreme Court nominee Elena “Softballs” Kagan was in the room cheering too. On an issue where she’s likely to be ruling. Maybe she just got carried away. Still…

Oh screw it…I’m not going to wait for more information. Elena Kagan is a horrible hothouse leftist doctrinaire shrew. Were she not, Obama would never have nominated her. She’s Obama’s Harriet Meiers, but he’ll get away with it. We’re putting a real nutjob on the Supreme Court for the first time. Sorry, second time–Comrade Justice Sonia is a whackjob too.

be-pee

British Petroleum, the douchebags who’ve been for years putting out those stupid ads with “normal” people offering their opinions about energy production (you know the ads, they’re boring, yellow and have a synthesizer music bed) have now set up a hotline for “normal” people to offer suggestions about how they should clean up their giant oil spill.

I don’t know what to say after that. Great job, BP-eenie.

Annual Mother’s Day Rant

I don’t celebrate Mother’s Day. Because the majority of moms are bad moms.

If you think I’m being too harsh, look around at your friends and see what percentage give a thumbs up to their moms.

Only Congress has lower actual approval ratings.

If you like your mom, honor her on a day not dedicated to all moms, most of whom suck at their jobs and who deserve to be fired. Out of a cannon loaded with a real cannon ball.

Think about it. You’re lumping your mom in with them. That’s not nice.

We better be lucky because we ain’t smart

I was watching John Brennan, Obama’s bureaucrat in charge of stopping panty bombers, on Fox News Sunday. He was blustering and sounding tough and had his talking points memorized and then Chris Wallace took him down effortlessly.

Brennan claims that his band of boneheads has stopped hundreds of plots and the ones that have gotten through are the tiny fraction that made it through their fine strainer.

Really? These incompetent dolts are the best that the Jihadis have thrown at us? The rest were worse and even more obvious and so you nailed them?

Of course, Brennan is a liar. The incompetence of the Jihadis is trumped only by the ideologically driven incompetence of the Obama administration. How come the frequency of these Keystone Kaeda attacks has stepped up so much on Obama’s watch? Sure, there were incidents in the Bush years, but few and far between. And in none of those cases was there such a trail of breadcrumbs as in each of Obama’s failures.

There’s no excuse for not catching the underpants bomber before he boarded the plane. Even his parents ratted him out, but Obama’s bureaucracy didn’t react.

Now, in this latest case, everyone’s giving Obama’s Keystone Kops mad props for catching this guy in 2 days. But they didn’t notice he was going back and forth to Pakistan more than a dozen times and was training in Taliban camps. And the guy almost made it out of the country because of multiple detailed leaks about the investigation that reached him on CNN.

If people like the panty bomber and this guy can strike at will, and fail only because of being demolition school dropouts, then who can the US government stop?

You know who I trust to fix this problem? Muslims. George Bush freaked them out with JDAMs and marines. While I am glad to see Obama eschewing torture in favor of murdering lots of bad guys by clubbing them to death with Predator drones, it doesn’t have the same effect on the rest of the Muslim world. They think they’re safe from American violence. They may bitch about how when we assassinated some deserving Imam that his kids were in the car, but they know they just have to not get in the car with known assholes to be safe. We need the Muslim world to be afraid that we’re going to go Bush-crazy on them again if they don’t knock it off. Otherwise, they’ll just wink wink nudge nudge and quietly support terrorism against us because come on, admit the truth we all know–they resent and hate the USA nearly as much as American liberals do.

I thought Hillary was hilarious threatening the Paki government about what we’d do to them if the oxymoronic competent Paki ever got a bomb to not fizzle on American soil.  What she and her master in the White House got wrong is that we should be delivering on that threat now.  We should go into Wazzooristan and firebomb every single village. This notion that we don’t know where Osama is or where the terrorists are is crap. Google maps has a picture of my back yard. We know exactly what we need to destroy to take them out. We should drop fliers giving them 72 hours to cough up UBL, and promising to drone-kill anyone fleeing, and then prove once again that napalm does stick to little kids. Otherwise we’re going to have to kill a lot more little Muslim kids eventually.

Roman Polanski

He gave a 13 year old girl Qaaludes and then fucked her in the ass.

Harrison Ford, I invite you to come over to my house next time you defend Polanski. You bring the lube, I’ll bring the Qaaludes and the chainsaw.

Pendejos go home!

Five teenage males wore American flag T-shirts to school on May 5th. Everyone’s arguing whether they did this as a deliberate “Screw you!” to Mexican illegals (and perhaps to legals).

One Latina girl who’s popped up on the news everywhere said that picking this day to wear an American flag was just like if Latinos had showed up on the 4th of July wearing Mexican flags.

And she’s right. Of course, wearing those shirts was intended as a slap. The kids and their parents are disingenuously (and on the part of the boys, smirkingly) claiming that they had no such intent. Here’s another example of how political correctness has made us all into dishonest hypocrites, wink wink nudge nudge.

But the real issue is, what the hell is wrong with Mexican immigrants that they have become so radicalized and arrogant that a display of the flag of their chosen country is a pointed offense to them?

Those kids did everyone a big favor by flushing out the anti-USA, unassimilated ideology of way too many in the Mexican American community. If you’re a Latino who doesn’t condemn La Raza (the NCLR), I mean you.  I phrased that last sentence as I did to make sure that all you people who say “…yes, but they do a lot of good too…” know that I mean you too.

I’m sick and tired of racists and supremacists and racial shakedown artists.  I don’t like the Aryan Nations guys in Idaho, the Black Muslims, Jesse Jackson or any idiot arguing for black reparations.

The stereotype of “The Ugly American” is based primarily on social faux pas and minor gaucheries. It’s how resentful foreigners transmute their envy and sense of well-deserved inferiority into snobbery.

Here, have a few facts to fuel your stereotype: There are 6 billion people living on this planet. 300 million of them are in the United States–that’s 5 percent. American music and movies dominate in every country that has electricity. Americans dominate in technical innovation in medicine, computer software and hardware, and most other cutting edge areas. The US GDP is about a quarter of the entire world GDP. The dollar has been the world reserve currency for decades (until we elected that multi-culti jackass last year–don’t worry, he’ll fix that too).  We are the world’s policeman, reluctantly. We pay out bazillions to protect Europe and Asia and keep the Middle East crazies somewhat under control and still have enough left over to buy Escalades and park them long term at airports and fly to your has-been countries and look at the stuff you haven’t been capable of creating for about a century now. How’s that for Ugly Americanism, you snotty little socialist, tribalist, welfare-statist incompetents hiding under our skirts?

We Americans are exceptional and you should shut up and try to learn what it is about us that makes us so awesome compared to you.

I’m seeing a lot of Ugly Mexicans in the streets lately. By ugly I mean, screaming, shaking fists, burning things and threatening a clear and present possibility of immediate violence if someone dares to wear an American flag around them.  A high school principal freaked out and suppressed display of the American flag in America to avoid a riot (didn’t work, did it?)

Knock it off you Ugly Mexicans. Seriously, you’re overplaying your hand. You’re making me feel like shrugging about the new Arizona law.

A day of prayer

Everyone says, why are you atheists so hell-bent on preventing us from just praying for a day?

Honestly, as an atheist, I don’t know. I no more care about the government endorsing a day of prayer than I do a day of rooster worship.

My question, on this last day of prayer before the Supreme Court outlaws it, is, why do you prayer guys care so much?

Why does it matter to you so much that the government signs off on this?

I know why the atheists care–they’re pissed off at you for messing with their heads so much when they were growing up. They live for putting a stick in your spokes. I used to love sticking your spokes too, as a newly-minted atheist, but I got over it, and I know why a lot of people haven’t yet gotten over it.

But, seriously, why do you Christians treat this like a celebrity deathmatch?

You have a bazillion churches. You could get more attention and observance with a private kumbaya campaign. Why is it so important to make those of us who don’t care read “In God We Trust” every time we get pop tarts from a vending machine? Why do you need your ads everywhere in everyone’s faces? Including people that those ads just make more annoyed?

Is it that goddamn important to you that every goddamn knee shall goddamn kneel and every goddamn tongue shall goddamn bow?

I guess it is.

Writing this, I’m starting to regain my pissy atheism, and I’m starting to think about finding and sharpening a stick and looking for your spokes.