Songs in the Key of Douchebag?

March 29, 2012

Tonight, me & the missus are catching up on American Idol. We’re like 10 shows behind. On this show, they’re making the boys sing Stevie Wonder songs and the vagino-Americans sing Whitney Houston songs.

One of the boys sings Master Blaster from Hotter Than July.

I own Hotter Than July. I bought it on LP and CD. I think it’s an underrated album. It’s all really good except Master Blaster and the MLK tribute song. Sorry, but if that MLK song weren’t about MLK, everyone would agree it sucks too.

Master Blaster is a shitty reggae party song. I’ve never made it through the whole thing. It was a big hit, god knows why. When I had the LP, it opened side 2 and I just put the needle down after it. On CD, I had a CD player that could suppress shitty songs. Now that I’m all Squeezebox’ed up, I just rated this piece of crap horrible song 1 and it’s never annoyed me. Until tonight.

One of the American Idol boys, the one with the long crimped hair, chose this song. While Jimmy Iovine and Mary J Blige were coaching him, I was saying to the missus, oh, boy, this is going to suck, what is he thinking, did he get brain damage in a recent curling iron accident? But he actually sang it ok, made it more listenable than Stevie did.

So for the first time, I heard this lyric:

“Peace has come to Zimbabwe, Third World got it right on this one…”

I was gobsmacked.

This album came out in 1980, just after Rhodesia became Zimbabwe and Mugabe came to power.

First, let’s talk about crimp-boy, who oblivously sang those lyrics, and all the American Idol handlers who didn’t stop him. He might as well have sung: “Hitler’s come to the Danube, Third Reich got it right on this one…” Robert Mugabe may not be as competent, but he’s as evil as Stalin, the last 3 NoKo dictators, Mao, Hitler, Kone and Saddam Hussein.

Second, let’s talk about Stevie Fucking Wonder. I spent about 15 minutes just now searching for any indication that Little Stevie Blunder has ever apologized or done anything to correct his annoying reggae paean to to murderous totalitarianism. When Paula Cole got all born again, she expurgated her dirty songs on her previous albums. When Cat Stevens turned into a loud-mouth Muslim douchebag, Natalie Merchant removed her version of Peace Train from the 10,000 Maniacs In My Tribe album.

I just listened now, for the first time ever, to that horrible Master Blaster song all the way through. I probably bought the CD in the mid ’90’s. Long past time for anyone with any sense of moral responsibility to regret cheering Mugabe’s murder squads. Lyric was still there.

I got over Harrison Ford after he became the official child rape apologist for Roman Polanski. Stevie is worse since he pretends to have some enlightened moral authority instead of just being an actor who plays a good guy in the movies. Seriously, Harrison Ford is a cunt. Shame on you if you watch any more of his movies.

Anyhow, Stevie Wonder should goddamn know what’s gone on the last 30 years in Zimbabwe if he wrote a fucking song celebrating Mugabe’s ascension. I have questions out to his people. Please, please, please, Stevie prove you’re not just another arrogant amoral Hollywood identity-politics douchebag.

This is exactly as bad as someone in 1968 pretending that they hadn’t heard anything since 1938 that indicated that Hitler was a bad guy and they probably shouldn’t have supported him.

If Stevie Wonder won’t publicly repudiate Mugabe, then Stevie Wonder is a horrible human being. Anyone care to argue with that?

UPDATE 2016: Never heard back from Stevie’s people. At least he’s not Michael Jackson. The Blu-Ray of Songs in the Key of Life is amazing. I justify listening to it by being patronizing of Little Stevie. He’s stupid, not evil.

 

 

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Facebook Follies

March 27, 2012

The media is taking great umbrage right now over job interviewers asking prospects for their Facebook credentials.

The Feds are threatening legislation to prevent this.

Really? Is there nothing we don’t need government to intervene on?

How about saying Fuck you! and posting your interview experience on Facebook. Or starting a Facebook page against the company? Write the CEO. Mailbomb your alumni organization. Contact The Consumerist. Email Glenn Reynolds. Call MSNBC and Fox and the broadcast network morning shows and your local news stations. Write a letter to the editor. Start a boycott website against the company. Picket their offices. Solicit your friends to write outraged letters to the company. Contact their competitors and ask them about their policies. You get the idea. If your first thought was to have the government fix this for you, you are a passive idiot who doesn’t deserve to live in a free society. You are a present danger to the rest of us since you solicit totalitarian intervention in everyone’s life, not just your pathetic excuse for one.

Government should do for the people what they cannot do for themselves, not what they’re too whipped to do for themselves.


Columbus Circle

March 25, 2012

This is a nicely done little thriller movie. It’s kinda dumb and kinda smart.

An agoraphobic rich woman, on the run for 17 years from her abusive rich family, lives in a New York City penthouse apartment overlooking Columbus Circle. She starts seeing bad stuff happening through her peephole in the apartment next door. Why her rich family couldn’t track her down, well, that’s the dumb part. One of the dumb parts. The smart stuff is the performances, uniformly excellent, the agoraphobia high concept and the winking sense of humor. I laughed out loud several times at deliberately telegraphed plot twists.

Selma Blair, Amy Smart, Giovanni Ribisi and Jason Lee (Earl from My Name Is Earl). Slight, but skillful. 3 stars, watch it with a room full of friends–it’s a lot of fun. PG13.


High Tech Lynch Mob

March 25, 2012

George Zimmerman is a Hispanic guy who shot a black kid named Trayvon Martin.

Zimmerman, a neighborhood watch guy, didn’t like the cut of Martin’s jib when he saw him on the street one night, and ended up shooting Martin. Zimmerman called the cops before he shot Martin. They told Zimmerman to back off, but he didn’t.

Zimmerman claims Martin attacked him. Even if that’s true, it’s not all that good for Zimmerman. By Zimmerman’s own account, he pursued and confronted Martin, and there’s audio of their confrontation. Who knows what Martin thought? He was on foot being followed by a stranger in a car. Maybe he got mouthy. Maybe he provoked a fight because he was annoyed or scared.

There is no way Zimmerman was justified in what he did. It’s a good thing that national attention is focused on this case. Spike Lee has publicly posted Zimmerman’s home address on twitter. Others are calling for Zimmerman to be killed. Black activists and opinion makers are drumming up a lynch mob. You’d think at least Al Sharpton would recuse himself, since he has in the past incited mob violence that got people killed. But no, Al is chasing ambulances as usual.

The police chief has put himself on leave. The Justice Department has taken up the case. Martin’s parents have been on every morning talk show.

It’s pretty obvious that Zimmerman is in deep shit now. There is not a single person of any ethnicity in America saying that this shouldn’t be investigated. Zimmerman is going to go to jail. But the lynch mob mentality keeps amping up.

Black people, you should be ashamed of the douchebags you let speak for you. I mean Spike Lee and Al Sharpton and pretty much every so-called black leader except Bill Cosby. This is no longer about righting an injustice. It’s about taking advantage of an injustice to advance a stupid grievance agenda.

UPDATE: Turns out Trayvon Martin was a little shit, not the clean-cut poster-child his parents are trying to paint him to be. Doesn’t mean that Zimmerman was justified in shooting him, but it looks like Zimmerman’s defense team is going to claim Trayvon got shot while struggling for the gun.

All you Neighborhood Watch guys–get more training and get more common sense while you’re at it. Zimmerman had no business getting out of his car. Had he just stayed in his car, none of this would have happened. If you’re going to carry a gun or if you’re going to deliberately put yourself in harms way by looking for bad guys, I recommend reading Rory Miller’s Facing Violence. Miller talks about the “monkey dance” which the Martin/Zimmerman confrontation obviously was.

Zimmerman’s statement on the 911 tape about him being sick and tired of these goons getting away with this–that’s monkey dance talk. And, yes, what Zimmerman said was “goons” not “coons.” And no, I haven’t heard the tape. And fuck you mainstream media for bleeping the tape and reporting that it may have been a racial epithet. Get. Fucking. Serious.

Which brings me to more unnecessary censorship by the media.

Trayvon was suspended from school at the time he died for getting busted with weed. No big deal, in my libertarian mind. Except that Trayvon had a Twitter acount which proves beyond all doubt that Trayvon was a nasty little shit. I’ll bet his parents didn’t know about the NO_LIMIT_NIGGA nom de douchebag under which Trayvon was tweeting. I feel bad for them finding out like this.

The media isn’t going to report in detail his tweets because the FCC would go apeshit if they did. The Daily Caller has posted his last few months tweets in toto without much comment. I’ll give you the good parts version.

My take:

  • Trayvon wasn’t a gangsta, just a little brat with a chip on his shoulder.
  • He was a pothead and skipped school a lot.
  • He displayed a rap-fueled misogyny that is pretty breathtaking. Forget the other issues raised by this case, this is a clear indictment of the moral rot created by the whiny male rage that is 80% of rap music.

Here are some Trayvon verbatim tweets as NO_LIMIT_NIGGA:

RT @SmokedOutDREAD: Still in Bed, Chilling (heart symbol)

Homeroom= home in my on dam room

RT @x_highlyfavored: – fuck a bitch. any bitch. who you want? take yo pick but you gone have to take yo time.

Lol so daisha think she a bos caus she walkd in class late 2day…… i do dat everyday

RT 2ReesyyLaTootieB: Hahaha Hoe u got USED fa yo loose ass pussy.! Tighten up.! #Literally

RT @fukunurhoexxx: #youthetype of bitch that give up your pussy for free and think its cool #pussyaintfree #fb

Sum stuff u jus gotta tak 2 da grav w/u

2 glock 40’s…. bitch u got 80 problems

RT @myssVonne: #SexualPickUpLines My you have a long tongue.. What do you use it for?

RT @MisunderstoodC_: Get high to balance out the lows

#Nothingfeelsbetterthan SUM FIE HEAD!

RT @The SoleManSB: We in need of some trees… Wea tha weed man.

RT @TheyHATEShAHeED: I hate when i like somebody that dont like me. #Smh

RT @Insanely Dopeex3: Not giving a fuck just makes life less complicated.

Im on top of da world,,2 sec. later im on top of ya girl,, lol rockn ha world

RT@    xMaxDee: I got game for you young hoes, don’t grow to be a dumm hoe.

RT @Bombshelll_: “@La_ VidaBella: I’ll beat the pu**sy up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up…[I’m tired of typing up].

RT @MisunderstoodC_: Me? Putting up w. peoples bullshit for so long ? Not a likely situation.

“@___xMaxDee: I’m a hand full && I know it.”

RT @ TEAMJAYSTARZ__:R E T W E E T if your biggest fear is losing your MOM.

RT @iTeachSEXOLOGY: dick slipping out when you got her in doggy? Either u trying to long stroke wit a short dick or she need to arch tha …

RT @Crystal_TeeXOXO:. . . pay these hoes > NO MIND …. these niggas too .

RT @Mitchell_Garcia: I’ll slap a girl if she said suck my toes wtf, she must be giving some great dome for some shit like that u u u

RT @killah__b: my teacher told me that I was a piece of shit. seen her the other day, driving a piece of shit.

RT @Justme_Lala: #ThickDickThursday #ThickDickThursday #ThickDickThursday #thatisall.

Broke niggaz mak me sick * throw up

RT @scdreAD: Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, If that Nigga Busy On Valentines Day, Then You Need To Realize The Sideline Is YOU.!!

Ok, I’m done–that’s about half way through. The rest is just more of the same.

Trayvon didn’t have a lot original to say. But all those re-tweets tell you what he thought.

Zimmerman, in the police reports, is listed with a broken nose and blood on the back of his head. Zimmerman’s friends say Trayvon sucker-punched Zimmerman in the face and when Zimmerman was down Martin was pounding Zimmerman’s head against the sidewalk. We’ll never know if Trayvon jumped Zimmerman because he felt threatened or because he felt offended. Or if Trayvon really was trying to kill Zimmerman by banging his head on the concrete. If Trayvon was trying to kill Zimmerman, he wasn’t very effective.

In any case Zimmerman was the adult in the situation. As facts come out, I have more sympathy for Zimmerman than I did originally. He still exercised terrible, stupid judgment. Given the facts as they appear now–that Zimmerman called the cops, that he got out of his car (before or after he called the cops, I don’t know but it was a stupid move), that he annoyed a testosterone-driven teenager with a racial chip on his shoulder, that Zimmerman verbalized the chip on his shoulder to the 911 operators–if I were on the jury, I’d give Zimmerman some jail time, as an object lesson. Assuming the gun went off while they were struggling, this looks like involuntary manslaughter. Ironically, if Zimmerman deliberately shot Martin to keep from having his head bashed into the sidewalk, I’d be more likely to call it self-defense. Bottom line: everybody, let’s try harder to stay out of stupid “monkey dance” situations.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Mitt Is It

March 24, 2012

I want Mitt Romney to be the next president of the United States, and not just because I want the Obamas to collect their 99 weeks.

Yesterday, Rick Santorum had a Queer Eye for the Straight Guy-worthy meltdown on the Neil Cavuto show. You can go find the clip on the internet. Seriously, it was so shrill and self-pitying that I thought there might actually be something to the trope that anti-gays are secretly gay.

(By the way, if a presidential candidate were gay, I would take a good long hard look at him (no pun intended) before voting for him. After the obligatory some of my best friends are gay, let me say that gay guys tend to be emotionally labile (no pun intended). I’d definitely vote for a lesbian who won an arm-wrestling contest with Vladimir Putin. So that proves I’m not anti-gay. Am I saying that I think Rick Santorum is unconsciously gay? Sure, what the hell.)

Competence counts.

President Toonces ran on that in 2008. Funny nobody is talking about it now. Obama was supposed to be Spock with distinctive ears. Harvard-trained, big-brained, not the p-whipped little bitch tag-teamed by Valerie and Michelle that he’s turned out to be.

In the oxygen-deprived rarified air of left liberal academic salons, being pretty and articulate substitutes for being smart.

All my life, there’s been a voice in my head repeating the mantra “Beware the articulate incompetent.” From the first time I heard that, I knew it could apply to me. Unfortunately, the voices in Obama’s head are the screeches of Valerie and Michelle. He has no idea he’s an articulate incompetent.

Everybody is mad at the Republicans for benching their stars. Chris Christie, Mitch Daniels, Paul Ryan, Marco Rubio (who is only being mentioned as Veep material because of race).

Every one of the “benched” Republicans has had the decency and humility to admit, more or less openly, that they’re not ready to be POTUS. A man’s gotta know his limitations. So I guess Obama’s not a man.

Competence counts and so does knowing whether you’re ready for the job or not. Being an effective POTUS is not just about ideology. You have to have your shit together about how to run a huge organization of squabbling interests and factions. You have to figure out what’s do-able and what’s not. You have to have a direction, but you have to know that turning a ship is not the same as making a wish. Obama has just yanked hard at the wheel, this direction and that, thinking that turning the ship of state is the same as turning a Yugo, and he doesn’t understand the turbulence he’s created. President Toonces is deeply stupid. Meaning, results don’t figure into his plans. He thinks that perceptions trump results and that people will wait forever for his plans to work.

Mitt Romney is a technocrat. Mitt Romney doesn’t give a shit about abortion, even though he’s a Mormon. Mitt Romney has dealt effectively with sabotaging underlings. Mitt Romney doesn’t give a good goddamn about anything on the religious right’s agenda or the religious left’s agenda. Mitt Romney will not save us.

When we elect him, at least an adult will be flying the plane that has 3 engines out.

 

 

 

 

 


First thing we do, we kill all the schoolteachers

March 22, 2012

I had a phone conversation this week with one of my oldest best friends who is a public schoolteacher. And he reads this blog.

He took mild exception to my rants about how schoolteachers really are wildly overpaid while pleading poverty based on their actual salaries, while keeping mum about their actual benefits and how good life gets if you keep your mouth shut and stay in the system till you retire.

On the one hand, I don’t want to offend him. On the other hand, fuck public schoolteachers.

My sister-in-law just graduated from the People’s Republic of Being A Schoolteacher College here in the Seattle metro area and she’s teaching 3rd grade, enthusiastically and with huge dedication. We’ve been to her classroom and applauded (not perfunctorily) what she’s doing. She loves those little brats and is passionate about making a difference in their lives and is probably making a difference. Still, she’s so full of shit.

People who give a shit about educating their children will abandon the government system entirely in the next 2 or 3 years.

The public education model is seriously, pay attention schoolteachers, 5 years away from dead. Like good luck finding even poor people to go to your fucked-up fucked-out schools in 2017.

I suspect my SIL will survive this transition, though she has no clue it’s coming.

 

 


Iranian Extinction Event

March 19, 2012

The likelihood of an Iranian Extinction Event increases with every cut in the US defense budget, with every leashing of Israel. Israel striking now is the best hope for the average Iranian.

60 million+ Iranians are at 11:59 on the nuclear clock.

Were I Iranian, I’d emigrate right fucking now.

We in the West let Hitler get a head of steam up before we did anything about it. We’re tolerant to a fault.

Tehran will be worse than Dresden when we’ve finally had enough of you totalitarian Iranian fucks.