I HATE Benetton

February 18, 2012

Benetton is the perfect exemplar of the decadent, self-loathing, euro-weenie, raised pinkie, Obama-funding, self-righteous, passive-aggressive Leftie-American-Douchebag-Liberal worldview.

This is the latest in Benetton’s “unhate” campaign. It arrives minutes after they apologized for portraying the Pope frenching a Muslim imam.

As readers of this blog know, I’m no fan of Jesus, and I feel kinda sentimental about Satan.

But I LOATHE the multi-culti, touchy-feely faggy Left. They seethe with subterranean hatred. For their rich daddies or their touchy-feely creepy mommies or because of their earned inferiority complexes and their dependence on entitlements and privileges they don’t understand much less would ever be willing to admit they get.

This Benetton ad is a HATE letter to Christians. If you don’t get that, you’re just another passive-aggressive asshat conformist piece of self-righteous American Liberal shit.

I am lucky enough to work in an open office, where collaboration is the raisin debt, but the actual result is everyone wearing noise-cancelling headphones so they can think straight occasionally. Friday, near end of the day, the subject turned to religion. There are 8 people in my little Den of Pandemonium. 6 were still at work when somebody said something along the lines of, Why the fuck would anyone still go to church for Christ’s sake?

As it turns out 2 people were church goers. They responded with grace (no pun intended) and dignity. The Jewish girl, siding with the majority, dissed her Bat Mitzvah as a huge pain in the ass what with all that Torah-memorizing and cantoring. She’s a nice girl. We applaud girl-courage so much because it is so rare. As the only serious atheist in the group, and I was still working, I chimed in occasionally to clarify concepts like “Original Sin” which 2 of the 6 had never even heard of.

To summarize, 3 of the 6 people there were, how shall I say this…unchurched? dechurched? If dechurched, I guess it’s 4 of 6 including me. I was the only one on the church-sucks side who had a clue about church. The rest were less educated about Protestants and Catholics than I am about the Oneida cult. As in, I know more about why Oneida flatware is sexy than they do about Jesus.

The Seattle liberals got rocked back on their heels thinking this was a Safe Zone to casually ridicule religious people. Oops. Now they know: Two of Them are less than 10 feet away from Enlightened Me every day. It would be great if next Monday were interesting, with some kind of walk of Liberal shame, but that won’t happen. Seattle liberals are nothing if not malleable pussies who don’t know how to apologize.

I didn’t help the religious people. They were doing fine on their own.

Thought experiment time:

Knowing this will help fuel assholes who will try to get this blog censored for racism, I’m going to make this analogy and ask these questions because race is the lens through which stupid liberals view everything these days, so it’s the best analogy to use to slap them across their sleepy stupid heads to try to wake them up:

Which of these two questions is more bigoted:

  1. Why the fuck would anyone still go to church for Christ’s sake?
  2. Why the fuck would anyone hire a nigger for Christ’s sake?

In case you’re not good at taking tests: They’re equally bigoted. Why aren’t they equally offensive? That’s not another test questions, except it’s a litmus test. If you don’t get that both those questions are equally offensive, you’re a bigoted asshole.

One of the guys who had left work already, who works in my 8-pack Of Noisy Hell, is black. I wonder how he would have responded if Question #2 had been asked in his presence. Do you think he would have gone into “I’m going to be reasonable, meek and mild and try to find common ground” mode like the outed Christians did?

Christians are the new gays. You can’t be sure if someone’s a closet Christian or gay at first glance. They sneak up on you and they pretend to be normal. Then suddenly they’re going to church or singing show tunes…gross!

Actually, Christians are the new black!




Camp Creepy

November 17, 2011

Here’s something that I haven’t heard anyone else talk about with the Occupy smelly hippies.

I’m sure someone else has talked about this, I just haven’t heard it.

Over and over again, they have these weird call and response chants with the response chant being the same as the call. Some Occupy leader gets to a place where it can get media attention and then starts with this kind of shit:

Leader: What do we want?

Crowd: What do we want?

In other protests, it would go like this:

Leader: What do we want?

Crowd: Justice! Candy! Money!

Leader: When do we want it?

Crowd: Now! Before rent’s due! Halloween!

The Occup-ards just repeat the thing their leader de jure says to them. There’s no interplay or script there’s just a slavish obedient echo. Literal echos. It’s. fucking. Creepy. You say exactly what the guy with the bullhorn said.

Reminds me of The Life of Brian, when Brian was trying to get the crowd to leave him alone. No matter what he said, they repeated it, not quite as slavishly as the Occupards, but still pretty bad.

Brian: Fuck Off!

Crowd: How shall we fuck off, O Lord?

Brian: You’re all individuals! You don’t have to follow anybody!

Crowd: Yes, we’re all individuals!

(lone voice in the crowd: “I’m not.”)

I have zero sympathy for anyone who has had any sympathy for the Occupy movement. If you gave aid and comfort, on any level, to those fucktards, you are a moron, a simp, a mark, a bitch, a punk and the reason Western civilization is in peril. Your bullshit detector has been disabled. Put new batteries in, you fuckwad.






Safety Net or Flypaper?

September 16, 2011

Item: Teachers in Tacoma, WA are on an illegal strike. Their students are demonstrating in support (in support of not having to go to school). The governor of Washington, Christine Gregoire, a typical Democrat moron, gets on TV and wink wink nudge nudge sides with the teachers as much as she can without being in open contempt of court and inciting insurrection.

Item: Aforementioned Gubner Gregoire is talking about cutting state budgets 10% across the board. Good for her. News story following that announcement showcases young single mother with children ages 2 and 5, bitching about the cuts and how they’re going to hurt her. She’s dumb as a box of hammers. No wonder she’s so easy to impregnate. It probably takes more game to get your cocker spaniel to let you fuck it. One of the kids obviously has a white baby daddy, the other obviously has a black baby daddy. I’m not making a racist point here–I’m making the point that she has shitted out 2 brats in 5 years from two different guys, neither of whom is in the picture and she is filled with righteous anger at the thought of me not paying for brat #1’s pre-kindergarten checkup. The moron producing the news story doesn’t ask where’s daddy, much less where’s daddies? If the checkup included spaying, I’d gladly pay and give her a coupon for a free Happy Meal. Or lifetime free abortions.

Item: People’s Court today, starring Judge Cutie. Couple breaking up, she took the 60 inch Mitsubishi TV that they are making payments on RENT TO OWN. Been together 7 years, since he was 18 and she was 16. Lived the first few years in her parents’ house. She’s stabbed him in the head with a screwdriver and broken his nose with a hairbrush. He’s choked her out a time or two.  He’s suing for the TV, which she took when she moved out taking everything while he was at work. She’s been banging some other guy for the last several months, the proximate cause of the breakup. But wait, there’s more….they have a 10 month old daughter.

How likely do you think it is that you and I won’t be paying routine bills for that poor little brat? Or that the brat won’t turn up the volume to 11 listening to her stupid slutty mom and her stupid abusive dad?

I don’t care if you’re a fat, incompetent schoolteacher getting paid way too much or a skinny, stupid girl who cain’t say no, you are ruining this country. Well, I guess  you’re not ruining it. You’re just cattle being stampeded by liberal douchebags. These days, there’s not even that much difference between the fat teacher and the skinny slut in terms of literacy and eloquence. They’re both just people who think their shit don’t stink, so the rest of you pay me. That’s really what about half this country thinks:

My shit don’t stink! Pay me.

Fuck you. Either we’ll send these lazy, horrible people a message in 2012 or they’ll send a message to us. Either way, the days of getting paid for thinking you have stink-free shit are coming to an end. It’s only a matter of how much these people will have their noses rubbed in it.

Just to be clear, by “lazy, horrible people” I do mean schoolteachers. Yes, I know there are good schoolteachers, and I know there some poor people who deserve help. But most of them are horrible, lazy people who use the “good ones” as cover.





Why do people watch PBS?

September 14, 2011

I’ve been watching it, somewhat, in the background for the last couple of hours.

It’s pure propaganda.

Just a second ago, I heard on Tavis Smiley Reports that the reason that 10 year old black boys can’t read is because history texts do not “reflect black contributions.”

If there was no color on earth, what color would that be? That’s a clip from some charter school that’s considered a success.

Now we’re going beyond “what test scores can measure…”

Seriously, I’m live-blogging this bullshit.

Ok, I’ve had it. I’m turning on The People’s Court and watching Judge Hottie.

It’s not the facts on PBS–they get them right, more or less. It’s the cadences. It’s the liberal phrases used to excuse failure and evil. It’s a stupid, condescending, self-loathing worldview that lives more in their adjectives than their beliefs:




“narrative” (yeah, these shitheads use that as an adjective now)

Oh, fuck it, I can’t continue.  Go listen to an Obama speech if you want to continue the list.

It’s like one of those paper pads everyone used to have where you’d check off a word in column A and another in column B and come up with some hilarious sentence. What were those called?

Me, I want to punch Dr. Jawanza Kunfuju (no seriously, that’s his name and I want to punch him) for saying “so, literally, a black male boy can never experience a black male teacher.”  This is what PBS interviews as an expert. With solemn piano music.

Every single person who sends money to PBS is a pretentious retard. No smart person can think that PBS is smart. You PBS-tards watch it like most people go to church: you’re so fucking bored when you’re there, but you think it’s going to get you into heaven. I watch PBS because some of it is palatable and because I just got rid of cable TV and I have a huge Windows Media Center hard drive so I can record anything and everything.

I’m going to go watch Judge Cutie on The People’s Court. You liberal retards could learn a lot about the law, about who your fellow citizens are, and about why you shouldn’t feel so fucking sorry for most of them if you’d turn off that PBS shit and watch some reality TV.

Hell, Gilligan’s Island is better than 4 out of 5 shows on PBS.

Ok, done with the invective, let’s get serious:

If you think PBS provides an accurate, useful view of the world, you are a complete and utter victim of special interest propaganda. Really. You’re the kind of moron you accuse people of being who buy Happy Meals for their kids. Only, they’re just feeding their kids, you’re trying to RUN OUR FUCKING LIVES because being in control of us gives you the same kind of boner that normal people get watching their kids have fun eating a Happy Meal and playing with the stupid toy.

PBS is an intellectual Happy Meal.

It’s one thing to be an easily-manipulable consumer and another thing to be an easily-manipulable consumer of fascist ideology. And all American liberals are the latter. That’s why we’re all sick of your bullshit.

Seriously, liberals, grab one more goddamn french fry, see what happens to you.

I’ve got the Bin Laden Blah’s

May 5, 2011

Sorry, just can’t get into the celebration. This feels to me like when the Israelis capture yet another 88 year old Nazi in South America. Good, glad you got him, perhaps sends a message to future Nazis. But it really doesn’t change anything.

Here’s what’s really bugging me: the right is crowing about how torture works, let’s have more!

Yes, they’re saying that waterboarding isn’t torture. But that doing it to KSM 183 times in his first month in captivity “broke his spirit.” Evidently, he would do anything to avoid time 184.

It doesn’t matter if waterboarding doesn’t maim. In the book “Dune” there’s a device used by the witches of the Bene Gesserit to test acolytes. The device uses nerve induction to induce intense, realistic pain without doing actual damage. Waterboarding is perhaps worse. The sense of suffocation is claimed, by waterboarding’s defenders, to work to break anyone. If you don’t buy that, try holding your breath till you actually pass out. Or, if you’re one of those who thinks waterboarding isn’t torture, let’s waterboard you. See what you think after 183 times.

I’ve said before that it’s a coward’s stance to claim that torture doesn’t work, as most liberals during the Bush administration claimed. They didn’t want to deal with the question: If torture works, should we use it to fight this war?

Of course, you liberal idiots, torture works, especially when it’s systemic. Did you jackasses learn nothing from reading 1984? When you correlate what A says when tortured against what B said, there are all kinds of things you can learn. In its information dynamics, torture is no different than any other police interrogation technique. It’s all about comparing notes, only you get more interesting notes.

Sure, only 3 people, says Rumsfeld, were ever waterboarded. So far. Government power, once granted, always grows into corruption and overreach. This is the government who just prosecuted and convicted some guy for counterfeiting who was making honest silver coins that resembled legacy US silver dollars. You trust this government with torturing only the right people? You think Holder and Obama and Jerritt and the rest of them are trustworthy on this?

The last thing we need is for our Ruling Class to get unified and on-board with torturing Undesirables. Republicans and conservatives who are now pushing Democrats to accept that torture works and is good policy are making a huge strategic mistake.

I’d be fine if we never ever caught USB, if he lived out his life banging his wives, if we couldn’t have caught him were it not for waterboarding. Too high a price.

Too many people think that this is Jack Bauer stuff–it’s about us getting tough. No, it’s about us sliding into a world where a multitude of grey bureaucrat sign torture orders. It’s Soviet stuff.

Yeah, I know my glass is full but I still feel half empty

November 29, 2010

Anthony Lane, film reviewer for The New Yorker, writes this about the new wave of 3-D movies:

3-D will ravish our senses and take us on rides that no drug can match, but my guess is that, like so many blessings, it won’t make us happy. It will make us want more.

Ok, so what? Another self-important self-conscious mopey New York asshole who thinks he shits gold nuggets raining down rhetorical pyrite,  working it wringing deep sigh-laden meaning out of the mundane and trivial.

The formula is simple:  Bitch about a cool new bit of technology or other progress by waxing eloquent about any one or more of:

  • Pining nostalgically for the previous status quo, having instantly transmuted a previous annoyance into a lost spiritual ritual.
  • C0mplaining about side effects, lost jobs, obsolete business models and all the dmage done
  • Moping that the improvement will only temporarily break the surface tension of everyone’s ordinary, inevitable ennui. What is that only me?
  • Bemoaning the impact on global warming, social cohesion, childhood obesity, traffic congestion, traffic accidents, distracted driving, ADHD, toxins, landfills, autism, and, the last refuge of an effete, pampered, attention-whoring big city liberal scoundrel–becoming an option glut slut.

This kind of whining is really easy to imitate, once you see the trick. Watch:

  • Microwave ovens have ruined the American dinner table, robbed kitchens of their rightful aromas…
  • Double-paned windows lock Americans away from neighborhood sounds, make them more alienated from seasonal changes by saving them enough money that they can afford to turn the thermostat up to 70 in the winter…
  • eBooks take away the wonderful smell of mildew, the pleasure of having your whole house overrun with bookshelves, the joy of marking up books with post-it notes, underlines, dog-ears, and then still having to look for 20 minutes to find the thing you needed….I fear nobody will be able to add numbers in a world where paper books disappear like slide rules…

This attitude is more than annoying, it’s dangerous. From the Franken-phobia of the “precautionary principle” to the world’s-smallest-violin framing of the health care debate  to the asinine control-freak measures proposed to deal with global warming, the dreary liberal way of seeing the world completely rejects “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” because if you’re a liberal everything’s fucking broken.

That’s really the essence of the Democrat party and mainstream liberalism today: no matter how cool it looks, whether it’s America or a new IMAX 3-D movie, it actually sucks and it’s suckiness is in direct proportion to how much it doesn’t seem to suck. Everything chafes them. All underwear binds. Each new thing threatens some old thing that now that we think about it doesn’t suck anymore because the new thing is what really sucks. Liberals aren’t conservative: they’re Luddites.

The left/liberal establishment has adopted a reflexive piss-in-your-own-punchbowl attitude toward everything except The Other. Everything new in their culture is fraught with Frankenstinianism (I just made up that word–pretty good word, huh?) Everything in other cultures is Whole-Foods-cool.

The only thing old that they don’t like is Western values.

They’re allergic not only to their own blood, sweat and tears, but to the Western idea of blood, sweat and tears. The result is a perpetual sneer and rejection of actual progress in favor of defining progress as government programs that promote MY ideals with YOUR money.

This goes beyond grievance politics or identity politics to having a Grievance Identity. America is a miserable, racist place with a (half) black President where children grow hungrier and fatter, and the greedy super-rich cause accidents by trying to drive their hummers while texting and beating their servants in the back seat. Thank god for Me days or I don’t know how I’d survive in Thunderdome Amerika.

Listen to liberals snarl the word corporation. Or business interests. Or America. No need to modify these terms with adjectives like  greedy, heartless orcorrupt anymore–the meme has firmly taken hold, and liberals spit the word corporation like Nazis used to say Juden.

Look at the Obamas, poster children for resenting where they eat.

Both Michelle and her consort have played their race cards skillfully, graduating from top schools, taking faux jobs like “community organizer” or finding soft featherbeds like “community affairs officer” for $300K a year. They are among the most privileged in the country they scold for rewarding the over-privileged. They show no indication of noticing or appreciating or wondering why they have been given so much for giving so little.

Affluent liberals drive SUVs and have big screen TVs, plant their big fat carbon feet-prints in far-flung places on regular vacations, move into bigger and bigger houses, all the time griping about how it doesn’t really fulfill them. The only actual lifestyle choices I see liberals making that are different from their conservative SES peers are buying expensive organic edible status symbols at Whole Foods instead of normal food at Costco and religiously sorting their trash like they’re worshipping at a curbside shrine.


Terrorizing the TSA

November 26, 2010

I’ve been thinking about what punishment, if any, TSA front line workers deserve from us. Eric Schneie’s Classical Values blog has helped me come to a firm conclusion.

Front-line TSA workers deserve all the contempt, ridicule, harassment and non-cooperation that we can heap upon them. Let’s make their jobs miserable. Well, even more miserable.

Amazing as it may sound, the government is trying to get people to feel sorry for the TSA screeners.

“Our concern is that the public not confuse the people implementing the policies with the people who developed the policies,” said Sharon Pinnock, the union’s director of membership and organization.I love it.

“Don’t blame me! I was just following orders!”

 It would be nice if Ms. Pinnock could have at least provided a few names of those who deserve blame. As she says, “the people who developed the policies.”

But of course, the “the people who developed the policies” are anonymous apparatchiks too.

Because they have created an insular and near-anonymous system, no one is really accountable and there is no one to blame — as even members of Congress discovered when they tried ever so gently to ask TSA administrator John Pistole if he might consider backing off just a little.

The answer was NO!

 I’m not saying everyone should get kicked off flights or get themselves arrested. But the right thing to do is to make sure every TSA goon knows exactly how you feel. If they decide to give you extra crap for having a bad attitude, what of it? Be sure you have your cell phone recording every time you go through gate-rape. Give the system a little heartburn every time you encounter it.

It doesn’t matter that TSA agents didn’t make the policy. It doesn’t matter that many of them are perfectly nice people. It doesn’t matter that were you in their place, you probably wouldn’t quit your job either over the new policy.

People keep saying that they don’t want to be treated like cogs in a machine. Let’s treat TSA workers like adult moral agents. They have also earned the contempt that everyone up their chain of command deserves too.

But wait a minute. Isn’t this a little like Tim McVeigh holding accountable the day care workers and little kids in the Oklahoma City federal building? Uh, no, not really. There were probably very few people who died in that bombing who supported or contributed to Ruby Ridge or Waco. Had McVeigh gone after Lon Horiuchi (the federal sniper who murdered Vicki Weaver and whose trigger-happy behavior probably sparked the Waco disaster), I would certainly have not considered McVeigh a moral monster, even if I might have disagreed with him about vigilante justice.

And I’m not talking about killing TSA agents. I’m not even advocating here for civil disobedience. I’m only talking about shaming them.

All TSA agents are fully aware of the new policies and are participating directly in their enforcement. In deference to Godwin’s law, I will omit analogies to concentration camp guards and will skip pasting in Hannah Arendt quotes. Instead, I’ll just ask, What kind of a dumbass do you have to be to think that TSA front-line agents aren’t actively morally involved and accountable for this?

I’ll let Eric Schneie deliver the coup de grace:

In the old days, people didn’t go for that “just going my job” crap.” They held the guys who did things to people responsible for their actions and they resorted to things like tar and feathers.

What else could they do? Petition King George? A lot of good that would have done.

Might as well petition Congress, which lacks the authority to petition John Pistole, because after all, he is only doing his job, and he really isn’t ultimately in charge. (As to who really is in charge, they’re anonymous as well as interchangeable, and for their own safety you little people have no right to know who or where they are.)


POSTSCRIPT. Just to be very clear, I’m not advocating the assassination of Lon Horiuchi. But if I ever met him, I wouldn’t shake his hand and I’d tell him to his face he’s a miserable little murderer. Remember all the shit people gave OJ Simpson after he was acquitted? Horiuchi should be similarly ostracized. He probably would be were he as instantly recognizable as the Juice Monster.

Horiuchi’s behavior at Waco very probably was the proximate cause of all those deaths. He was accused of firing several shots without orders, but denied it and got away with it. Tim McVeigh was seriously pissed and blamed Horiuchi for Waco. Then Horiuchi gets assigned to Ruby Ridge, and he murders Vicki Weaver, shooting her dead while she’s holding a baby. Horiuchi claimed “oops, I missed–I meant to kill one of the men. Lucky shot, wasn’t that?” Sorry, that second bite gives me all I need to refuse Horiuchi the benefit of the doubt about the malice of the first one. The government finally settled a wrongful death suit for millions with the Weaver family, refusing any admission of wrongdoing. And, once again, Horiuchi kept his job.

Now, imagine you’re Tim McVeigh, convinced, and probably correctly so, that Ron Horiuchi’s bloody recklessness caused the deaths of 74 people. The government protected its own and let him get away with it scot free. Then, a little while later, Horiuchi kills a woman who is literally holding a baby. And, once again, the federal government turns a blind eye. Had McVeigh taken out Horiuchi, we’d have understood. We cheer this kind of revenge in the movies.

Take this thought experiment a step further: Assume that McVeigh understood the points quoted above–that the problem wasn’t just Horiuchi, but the faceless, unaccountable Borg bureaucracy that used him as a weapon and protected him when he misfired. The bureacracy doesn’t care about collateral damage, and are attacking his friends purely because of their “radical” beliefs. Why not tit for tat, an eye for an eye? I’ll see your 20 children and raise you 19…

Here’s where McVeigh turned into a terrorist. When you start seeing it as ok to target and kill people only because they are associated with an organization or group you don’t like, you’ve crossed a bright line. You are a terrorist at heart if you believe some people deserve to die just because they’re “part of the machine,” not because of having personally committed actual crimes worthy of capital punishment. (Yes, this applies to Muslims who support suicide bombings, even if they’d never strap one on themselves.)

McVeigh wanted to kill random federal law enforcement officers, preferably from multiple agencies, and either he didn’t care or he thought it was poetic justice, to blow up a daycare center to get the job done. At the end of the day, the genocidal mindset is just a subset of the general terrorist mindset, and there’s no logically limiting factor in who you can justify killing once you push off and start tobogganing down this very slippery slope. McVeigh went very quickly from wanting Ron Horiuchi brought to justice to condemning all federal law enforcement officers to it being ok to murder their children too. Why not keep going and indict all taxpayers who voluntarily pay salaries to the feds?

This is what demonization means, and how it works psychodynamically.

Now, ask yourself , was the government behavior at Waco and Ruby Ridge consistent with the terrorist mindset as I’ve described it above? Reckless disregard for collateral damage; a belief that any level of violence is justified to deal with the problem; Demonization of a hated group of people that you treat as an existential threat to your own culture and goals; reckless disregard for collateral damage, or perhaps even an ugly satisfaction in inflicting it.

Under Janet Reno, the US Justice Department really was a terrorist organization.