Read My Lips

No New Taxes.

The numbers you keep hearing  from government sources about how we can’t balance the budget if you and I don’t accept new taxes are based on continuing to pay people who should be fired and programs that should be discontinued.

None of the numbers that politicians are trying to get you to believe are real.

They’re just trying to get you to back off so they can keep their jobs. We could cut 20% of federal payroll right now and nobody except those who lose their jobs would notice. We could cut 50% and we’d go, Ok, fine, I can’t get federal publications about how to do this and that from Pueblo, Colorado. Other than that, amazing how many good jobs there are suddenly in my home town.

No more, I’m done, fuck you, Federales. If you work for the government, and you want to keep doing it, get ready for a 30% pay cut. If you object to that, get ready to be fired.

Seriously, I’m coming for you, and yes, I want your kids to starve.

Abortion

All you right-wing people who treat being pro-life as a litmus test are stupid little piggies being led around by the pro-life ring in your stupid piggie snouts.

The Republicans haven’t done jack shit about this issue. But they keep you snuffling and following them because you hope they will. It’s just like how the Democrats keep the fags and fag hags in line by pretending they give a flying fuck about gay issues.

Gay or pro-life, you’re reliably stupid, addicted to rhetoric and you never measure results.

Republicans would be in huge trouble if they ever actually solved the abortion problem. What next to keep you hamsters on the treadmill? They are completely invested in running in place and making you pro-lifers never give up hope. Democrats exploit gays and gay sympathizers the same way.

 All of you morons who are about social issues: you’re idiots who are making it hard for the rest of us to solve real problems.

New Bumper Sticker

Chris Christie <second line>for Christ in 2012.

Seriously. I’m designing it and when I’m done I will be sporting it. It’s not quite right, but I’ll get there.

This will replace my “Vote Dhimmicrat!” sticker.

I’ve always lived by 2 principles, at least when it comes to the ass-end of my car:

* Confuse the stupid

* The best thing to have is fun.

Tre stfu. Your such a faggot.

The title of this post is verbatim from Willow Palin, reacting on Facebook to someone criticizing her mom’s new reality show.

Your usch an illerate, Willow.

Whatever the else Sarah is, she’s a shitty mom. No, that’s too harsh.

She has shitty daughters. I’d put both of them on an ice floe.

They should rename The Peter Principle to The Palin Principle.

Actually, I love Willow. She may have finally put a stake in the heart of Sarah’s political pretensions. The only thing that could make it better is if Willow gets knocked up by that faggot Tre.

UPDATE 2010/11/18

Slate has more on the Palin brats’ Facebook postings (yes, brats–that stupid slut Bristol got in on the action too).

In case it disappears, here’s the good parts version:

The fight heats up when a guy named Matt jumps in. Matt apparently went to Teeland Middle School in Wasilla with Bristol. At first, Matt sticks to criticizing the TV show and the Palins’ attitude: “man these Palins really don’t like it when you don’t admire them fully, well Im sorry that people don’t like some programming,” he writes in his initial post. But after Willow retorts, “Your effin fat as hell. Stfu,” Matt responds in kind, calling Bristol fat. Willow replies: “Haha your so gay. I have no idea who you are. But what I’ve seen pictures of, your disgusting. My sister had a kid and is still hot.”

Then Bristol chimes in:

“Matt, I know you had a rough time going to Teeland,” Bristol writes. He retorts, “Bitch if I remember right you were grabbin my ass in wrestling practice. I know I don’t have a kid, maybe because I know what a fucking condom is.” Bristol responds in kind: “Haha ya grabbing your ass huh? I just puked!”

UPDATE 2016: Every nice thing I ever said about Sarah Palin was wrong. Every bad thing was right. Sarah Palin was a hot piece of ass in 2008. She’s a hot piece of crazy cougar ass in 2016. And, I’ll admit it, the only reason anyone ever liked her was because she’s hot.

God Damn The TSA

I really wish I were flying the day before Thanksgiving, which is National Opt Out Day. This is the day when everyone refuses the new backscatter radiation treatment and demands the TSA cops cop cheap feels. It takes a lot longer for a TSA drone to dry hump a passenger than to shove them through the X-ray machine. I’ll bet if even 5% of passengers opt out, people will start missing planes.

Next time I fly, I am opting out, and I’m asking for a female groper. See, I get freaked out by the idea of a gay man playing with my junk. I’m going to very thoroughly interrogate the sexuality of any male who starts putting on his rubber gloves. “Are you gay? Are you sure? What about in high school? Ok, if you were gay, would you rather do Usher or Janet Napolitano? Are you enjoying this? Are you sure you’re not? Really? Is that a flashlight in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

Now for all you docile fucktards out there who are willing to put up with this in the name of “increased safety”….

Why stop here? Why not do strip and body cavity searches? The new machines can’t detect explosives stuffed up  your ass. Certainly, we’d be safer if we did that.

And why not ban all luggage? You can mail what you need to your destination.

How about requiring an FBI background check on every passenger?

Now, my dear fucktard, not even you are in favor of these measures, even though they would increase safety. So despite your curious combination of self-righteousness and submission to bureaucrats, you too balance safety and security and are willing to give up safety when the means of ensuring it are too intrusive. So don’t give me any stupid shit about what happens after somebody who would have been caught by the new scanner sets off a bomb. What happens after someone stuffs a bomb up his ass but you were too prissy to submit to a cavity search? Of course, as a card-carrying fucktard, you’re against profiling, which the Israelis think works, and I tend to trust their judgment on this.

Name me one terrorist plot in the last 10 years that has been stopped by the TSA. How many times have they been punked by people putting crap in their luggage that should have been caught but wasn’t? (It’s a lot–look it up on the Internet.) How many terrorist plots do you think will be foiled by subjecting the rest of us to even more obnoxious procedures? When the TSA closes one door, Allah opens a window.

How have we caught terrorists? #1 is their own ineptness. Christ, terrorists are so incompetent in general that most of them could be TSA employees. Or it’s intelligence tips. As stupid as these terrorists are, none of them have been stopped by TSA in the airport. They will still get past TSA with the new measures. It’s not hard to outwit TSA.

If we were serious about security, we’d profile. We’d know who’s a business traveler who’s flown this route every other week for the last 10 years and who has an unusual travel profile. You’re goddamn right we’d pull nearly all Muslim men out of line and play with their shaved nuts.

But we’re only serious about getting the American public to accept stupid bureaucratic intrusions on everyone. It’s just about conditioning us to play “Simon Says” with these blundering douchebags.

One more thing…guess whose consulting firm has the company that makes the new machines as a client? Michael Chertoff, Bush’s bald butthead ex-Homeland Security czar who brought us most of the existing TSA bullshit. He’s been lobbying to have these machines used for quite a while now. That’s the fucking cherry on top.

Jimmy InHoffa

Republican Sentor Jim Inhofe has been fighting his ass off to keep earmarks. His official website is down right now. I don’t know whether it’s because he’s too chickenshit to take any more angry voter email or whether the angry voter email knocked him offline. I wrote him a couple of days ago to tell him to knock it off. And I did it reasonably politely, and with compelling arguments.

He should have listened to me.  He’s now the first Republican who’s getting his ugly mug on a Tea Party WANTED poster.

Yesterday, I was willing to admit that it was possible Inhofe lost rock/paper/scissors and had been picked to be Mitch McConnell’s little bitch and take one for the team. I even felt a little sorry for him.

But after McConnell got his ass kicked on the straw vote, and gracefully bowed to the inevitable, Inhofe got up again in the Senate still arguing about it. Even Obama publicly applauded the Republican no-earmarks moratorium.  It’s going to pass. What the hell does Inhofe think he ‘s doing?

There’s something deeply wrong about Inhofe’s continuing this. Makes you think he owe’s the Mafia a favor and is afraid of having his legs broken if he doesn’t bring home some already-picked-out piece of pork. Or maybe he is just that damn dumb. Or nuts. I don’t care. There isn’t a not-creepy explanation for what he’s doing.

He needs to be targeted and removed in 2012. If we don’t take him out, the Republicans will think Tea Party anger has cooled off in a couple of years, and start thinking they can fuck with us again. This will be a real test of Tea Party focus because Inhofe is the darling of the social conservatives: he denies global warming, is loudly pro-life and is frequently rated the most socially conservative member of the Senate.

If the social conservatives re-elect him, then we know the social conservatives don’t really give a shit about the Tea Party–they are there to co-opt it, and will walk away when it doesn’t serve to get their right wing wackos elected anymore.

Finally, if you are a social conservative, can you tell me which changes in public policy on your social issues are due at least in part to Inhofe’s work? All he does is rub your bellies. Quit acting like you’re the dog of anyone who promises to color your world. The biggest danger to your social values is the size of government–you’ll have a lot more influence and freedom to advance your social agenda in a smaller-government environment. You will be muzzled and you will lose more than you have already if government in this country continues to grow. There is no more important issue than shrinking government to restore economic sanity. Anybody who is on the right side of that issue is your ally. We’ll start squabbling again about social issues after we make sure there’s still a free society to have issues in.

At this moment, there is nobody in Congress it’s more important to fire than James Inhofe. Let’s bury his career under a stadium in New Jersey.

Just for today, I don’t hate everybody

I did a little shopping at Fred Meyer this afternoon. The VFW was set up inside the door, handing out flyers listing items deployed soldiers need or would appreciate–everything from tubes of Pringles to anti-fungal foot cream. The flyer convienently listed the aisle where each item could be found.

Most of the items listed were sold out. I had to work to find high-value items. As I shopped, I noticed that there were people obviously looking for items, marking off things on the flyer. Definitely more than half the people in the store still had the flyer in their hands. And you should have seen the pile of grocery bags near the door from people who’d already shopped.

Here’s to Fred Meyer for allowing this. They weren’t making the VFW workers stand out in the cold either, but had given them plenty of space near the doors. Write and let them know you appreciate it.

Barack Obama, First and Last

The Obama administration has had a shameful, pathetic record on race issues.

If there was one thing I thought these guys would get right, it was this. That’s how goddamn dumb I am.

Actually, I’m so goddamn dumb that I came this close to voting for Obama. Instead, I wrote in Palin as the only one on the major tickets not supporting TARP. Recently, La Palin has said she supports TARP. So fuck me.

Obama’s Justice Department has deep-sixed videotaped Black Panthers with billy clubs intimidating voters and decided to go after Chris Christie for $2K in motel overcharges.

You know what, I’m sick of black people who think of themselves first as black people. Seriously. 90% of blacks vote purely by skin color or whether they’ll get more okra on the Democrat plantation. That’s racist and shameful. I’m tired of blacks winning the Crime Olympics running away year after year. I’m tired of blacks coming in last place in the Marriage Olympics year after year. And black girls coming in first place in the I-Had-A-Baby-Out-Of-Wedlock-For-No-Goddamn-Good-Reason-AGAIN Olympics.

It will be a long time before white people like me who don’t really give a shit about race and want fairness and who got a tear in our eyes when Obama got inaugurated will get sentimental like that again. Dick Holder’s racist Justice Department is a disgrace.

How’s that for not being cowardly and talking candidly about race?

The Word jihad

Barack Obama, vacationing in India, once again made it no wonder that 20% of the American people think he’s a Muslim.

Barack was asked about jihad, and he said that it was doe, a deer, a female deer, ray, a drop of golden sun…

Let’s get really fucking clear about what jihad means, and it’s not about means but about ends.

It means everyone everywhere in the world submitted to Islam eventually.

The jihad rules are, when you can take over by force, that’s what you do. When you’re in the minority, you do the taqqiya shuffle and pretend you love whitey. When you think a society is near the tipping point, you blow your stupid self up, create chaos, push push push.

It doesn’t matter where you think Islam is in its campaign to take over America. It’s about where they think they are. What does 9/11 say about their view? or the Ground Zero mosque? Muslims think they are winning and that encourages them to be increasingly violent.

Muslims have no moral compunctions when dealing with infidels.

All Muslims, moderate or  fanatic, are looking for ways to subvert, coopt and destroy other cultures, other beliefs. Or they’re not good Muslims. Muslims have morals when dealing with infidels like we have morals when dealing with farm animals. Your Muslim neighbor doesn’t see you as really human.

Muslim jihad is different from wanting everyone else to think like you do. Muslims have a duty of jihad. You just occasionallhy get too drunk and try to tell everyone what they should think.

And there are only practical, not moral, limits on what Muslims may do to subjugate the rest of us. In practical terms, the duty of jihad means probe, pry, push every day in every way to weaken and overcome infidel societies. Murder is not outlawed–it’s not murder if you kill an infidel.

Christians have a hard time understanding how subversive Islam is because Christians have the idea of ostentatious martyrdom embedded in them. As a Christian, you’re supposed to die rather than renounce or hide your beliefs in front of your enemies. Muslims, rightly, think this is asinine.

In Islam, you’re a martyr only if you take several infidels to their deaths with you. Martyrdom is tactical, not moral. Muslims have no moral problem with dissembling or pretending they don’t believe what they believe. Muslims revere skillful subversion.

Jihad is being waged against America. Maybe it’s a matter for a flyswatter.  Seriously, I can’t imagine anyone here wearing burkhas except on Halloween, like I did with a big picture of Mohammed on the front wearing a Star of David necklace. But then there’s 9/11 and Ft. Hood…

These assholes think their chances are good here, and as long as they think so, we will have to deal with them in their ugliest form.

And President Big Ears just gave them more hope.

I don’t give a flying fuck what Obama believes spiritually. But I will say this: sure as hell, he’s no Christian in any meaningful way. Never once have I heard Obama say anything uniquely Christian and neither have you. George Bush, there’s your Christian.

Obama isn’t Muslim. He’s Dhimmi. And he’s going to get more Americans killed kissing shaved stinky Muslim ass. Obama has just emboldened these homicidal retards.

Nice job, Big Ears.

Kristi Noem vs Michelle Bachmann

I was initially incensed that Bachmann was being dissed in favor of someone that the Republican leadership must think they can control.

But I just saw Noem interviewed by Stuart Varney, and Kristi kicks ass. I love Michelle, but the Left hates her (Go, Michelle! great enemies!). They’re going to dismiss what she says out of hand.

Kristi was principled, poised, low-key and appeared unable to rise to the bait, and Varney did dangle a lot of raw meat. 

Bachmann’s virtues make her a lightning rod. People who don’t agree with her have no problem finding reason to hate her because Bachmann doesn’t step away from a fight. God, I love her.

But Kristi’s got game.